There are hundreds of ways to ruin a date. Im pretty sure just about everyone reading this has at least one horror story of a date that they could share at the drop of a hat. Today, instead of telling you how to succeed on a date, we want to tell you how to not screw up your big date. So we’d like to cover some of the top things to avoid when on your first date with a girl. This list is by no means comprehensive, but it can definitely help you avoid some common pitfalls that guys fall into on their first dates. Read carefully!
1. Don’t focus on having ‘deep’ conversations… it’s the normal everyday ones that actually impress.
Where people originally got the idea that having some deep, meaningful conversation is the best way to go when you’re on a date, I do not know. But I do know that whoever first said it had it completely WRONG. A typical date is not some big, emotional event… so why should anyone treat it as such? Think about it. People don’t go on dates to discover the meaning of life. They don’t go on dates to achieve world peace. They simply go out to HAVE FUN. And fun can best be found in normal, enjoyable conversations highlighted by a fun ‘back and forth’ playful banter between the two of you. Why try to make it more complicated when it doesn’t have to be??
2. Don’t give too many straight answers
Humans are a funny species. When information is not readily available to them, they find a way to fill in the blanks in the most exciting, intriguing, and beneficial ways. By leaving SOME mystery to who you are, your date will likely automatically find themselves magnetized to the person they imagine you to be. By leaning back a little and leaving part of who you are to your date’s imagination, all of the information about yourself you actually give them will look all the better.
3. Don’t be scared to assert yourself by saying ‘no’, teasing, or busting balls
Being a challenge in some way, shape, or form is VITAL to building attraction on a date. Do NOT underestimate the power behind demonstrating through your behavior that you are in no way intimidated by the person you’re out with, regardless of how physically attractive, intelligent, or charming they may be. Not being too scared to throw sarcasm at your date speaks volumes. Not being too scared to say ‘no’ to something you’re not comfortable with sets you apart from virtually EVERY other person your date has been out with. Not being too scared to tease them in a playful manner… even pick on them… will reveal a new world to you that you never knew existed. Stick to your guns… the results will speak for themselves.
4. Don’t talk about your feelings, your ex, your problems, or anything else that might be construed as anything other than ‘fun’.
Remember that ultimately, the person who is out with you is there because they want to have a good time. Dates are supposed to be fun. They’re no time to bitch and moan about your problems, your hang-ups, or any other issues you might be dealing with that day. Anything you communicate to your date is a direct reflection of who you are. Keep that in mind before you decide to tell them your ex cheated on you because you couldn’t hold up your end in the bedroom.
5. Don’t act as if you’ve got no other options.
Imagine how desperate you would be if you thought your every happiness hinged on your ability to convince your date to fall in love with you on the spot. Imagine how you would feel knowing that if you mess this one up, nobody will ever give you another shot again. Think about how you would act. Think about how you would come across to your date. Do you have a picture of this in your mind? Well, this IS how many people treat their dates. And this IS how they come across. And this IS why they forfeit all their power and become lapdogs within the first five minutes of the date. Always remember that there are plenty of other people out there if this one person isn’t into you. Better yet, make sure you’ve got three or four numbers of other people before you even schedule a date with someone. When you can relax in the knowledge that there’s always someone else, you will automatically carry yourself with a confidence that is absolutely required for true success on a date.
6. Don’t be a ‘nice guy,’ but don’t be ‘bad’ just for the sake of being bad either.
“Nice Guys” are unattractive because they put EVERYone else first. They always forfeit their own preferences in the hopes that their dates will like them more for their valiant behavior. But that isn’t how human nature really works. You have to go into a date with the understanding that the other party is there to impress YOU, not the other way around. You have to embrace the reality that your preferences matter. Through this attitude, you’ll be able to properly lead your date through the evening, raising your stock to sky-high levels by presenting yourself as someone who’s got their act together. Just by doing this, you’ll be displaying all the vital qualities that make the typical ‘bad boy’ so attractive… and you’ll be able to do so without being ‘bad’ on purpose, which if contradictory to who really are, would make you look fake anyway. So just be you, remember that you count on this date also, and watch how magnetic you become by result.
7. Don’t bring up insecurities thinking your date will appreciate how ‘sensitive’ you are.
TV, movies, advertising, the media, and everyone else have lied to you. You’re not going to impress ANYbody with that lame “I’ve got feelings, and I’m such a fantastically sensitive person” routine. You’re not going to make your date think that you’re someone who can now all of a sudden be trusted with their heart. You’re not going to serve as this preferable contrast to all the insensitive people who came before you. All you’re going to do is look pathetic. And ‘pathetic’ is about as unattractive a quality as you can imagine, punkass.
8. Don’t make plans for the next date while you’re still on this one.
Everything you do in life (and on a date) says something about who you are. And everything you do demands some kind of reaction or response from others. And when you make the overanxious move (regardless of how calm you are about it) of trying to arrange the next date while you’re still on the current one, you’re begging for approval and telling your date that they’ve got you right where they want you, instantly lowering your appeal. You’re telling them not to wonder about you, not to excessively ponder over how much fun you were, and not to let that process automatically make you more attractive in their eyes. There’s an amazing power behind letting your date wonder if they’re going to be given the privilege of spending time with you again at some point in the near future. Do yourself a favor. Start using that power.
9. Don’t treat a kiss as anything more than simple protocol to end the date.
Everyone tends to build up a first kiss like it’s some huge deal… and that’s why people often screw it up. But it doesn’t have to be such a difficult issue. When you say goodbye in a business meeting, you shake hands. When you finish a karate match, you bow. It’s simply the way things work. A first kiss should be no different. Rather than trying to find the perfect moment throughout the night to get it done, you calmly wait and let the anticipation of the person you’re out with build. Then, at the end of the evening, you go in for the kiss like it’s supposed to happen this way. If you go about things in this manner and with this attitude, you’ll come across as a lot more confident… and that confidence will lead you to very good things… trust me on that!
10. Don’t forget the REAL reason you’re out on a date in the first place!
Get this straight right now… you’re NOT on that date for a sexual encounter. You’re NOT there to start a relationship. You’re there for one thing and one thing only: to BUILD ATTRACTION! Once you’ve done that, anything else that you wanted will come as a natural result anyway. THEN you’ll have all the sexual encounters and/or relationships you could ever want.