2 Most Important Factors
I’m going to start off with the two absolute biggest factors with succeeding with online dating. They are:
1. Your Pictures – How attractive you look
2. Hitting the Numbers Hard – Sending enough openers
These two factors are likely the result of around 90% of your results online. If you have great pictures and can play the numbers game, you’re pretty much guaranteed to get laid unless you say something stupid in your profile or messages.
The competition online is fierce and you generally need to look better than the next guy. Fortunately, a lot of guys online are clueless of what they’re doing. If you were to create a profile with a girl that’s 7 out of 10, you’ll get bombarded non-stop with messages from guys – from needy paragraphs, spewing compliments, and/or aggressive and sexual comments (which now usually get banned).
When you send out a bunch of openers, they will either be:
- Gone to a fake profile – Small percentage but does happen
- Seen but not open – The girl judges your thumbnail and decides to not bother open it.
- Openedbutnotreplied–Looked at your profile and didn’t like it enough…. Or thought you are not the boyfriend material she’s looking for
- Opened and replied but not serious – The girl just wants attention, someone to talk to. Likes to
have orbiters (guys in her friends zone/texting buddies)
- Opened, replied, and somewhat interested – This is obviously the one you want.
As you can tell, most messages sent to women won’t end up going anywhere. This is why sending only 100 messages ever won’t cut it. Fortunately if you actually do send enough openers, there are plenty of women online who are very willing to reply and meet guys.
The percentage of women who reply to you is not always the best numbers to go by. A near 40 year old friend of mine has about a 3% respond rate with POF and does extremely well online. He messages very attractive women who are considerably younger than him. On top of that, his profile screens a lot of women out who are clearly not DTF.
There are also guys who have a 40%+ respond rate, but don’t get laid due to messaging unattractive women or using funny openers. They will say some “funny” joke or pickup line to get a response, then boast how well their doing online. These funny type openers will make you look like some Mr. Funny Man, not a sexual cool dude. Those replies will likely not go anywhere or worse, you’ll become their texting buddy.
There is nothing wrong with using humour in your profile or when messaging women. The problem is using too much or not the right type. Give the image that you’re a cool, sexually experienced attractive guy that’s happens to be funny, instead of total clown that relies on his jokes for everything. If you’re going to use humour, best to use it in a more of a playful and flirty type way.
Which Dating Sites to Use
My experience and success is with Plenty of Fish and OkCupid. These two sites are the best to get laid. This is due to:
- Thes sites are often very popular, allowing you to hit the numbers hard without running out of women
- Younger crowds, more girls that are your type.
- Not too heavily relationship focused. There are girls who are down for one nighters, girls who are
commitment seekers and everything in between. The balance between both ends is perfect for gaining the most experience.
I recommend using both sites to start – this can help you hit the numbers harder, which I’m sure you know now why that’s a good thing. One thing to mention is that OKC has a lot more lesbians and bisexuals….I have no idea why.
If POF or OKC aren’t popular where you live, hopefully you can find a site that has a lot of people and letsyousendmassamountsofopenerswithease. OtheroptionsthataredecentbutIdon’thaveas much experience with is Tinder, meetme, match, and zoosk. The current best one of those is Tinder. It’s a phone app which has more recently become very popular.
Phone Reminders – Use the apps that create notifications, not alarms. Have them remind yourself for things like: blitzing, texting/calling a girl, confirm a date, and even to go on the date. There are a lot of women to meet with and it’s really easy to forget these things.
POF/OKC Apps – This is near mandatory if you want to really succeed with online dating. If you only use your computer, you can’t reply back right away when a girl contacts you. Conversations that
would have gone back and forth for days are now done in just minutes. Most girls will likely reply when you’re offline, be ready to reply back with the POF & OKC apps on your phone.
Swiftkey – It’s a keyboard app for your phone. It remembers your sentences so you don’t have to type them out. If you always use similar phrases like: “What’s some of the best things about yourself?” you can
just press a few letters instead of typing it all out. This app may not seem like a big game changer but you’ll start to love it once you have several new women talking to you every day.
40 Opener Maximum – POF has a limit on total openers you can send in one day. If you go over the 40, all openers will then become blocked for 48 hours
3 Identical Openers Maximum – POF has a limit on total identical openers you can send in one day. If you go over sending 3 identical openers, all openers will again become blocked for 48 hours
Sexual Talk – If you say anything sexual in your conversations or profile on POF, there’s a chance your account will become deleted.
Age Restriction – POF won’t allow messages to be sent to people 14 years younger or older than you. If you want to get around this, you could always just take away or add a few years to your age on your profile
As for restrictions on OkCupid, it’s hard to exactly tell since they’ve never released that information. A good idea is to follow the same basic guidelines as you do with POF.
Rejections & Dependence
I know there is going to be some of you who will have troubles accepting the fact that you need to get rejected a lot to be successful online. Realise and accept that it’s going to happen. If you get upset every time a girl doesn’t respond to you, you won’t get anywhere.
I can go online right now and do a full blitz and easily get “rejected” by every girl I message. But I know if I keep hitting the numbers hard the day after and the day after that – they’ll be some who won’t reject me and want to meet up. Try not to get phased by a bad day or two of blitzing. If you look good and are in a good location, girls will pull through. The crazy thing is how you never know how cool (or shitty) some of the girls online are that you met with. Who knows maybe that one girl you’re messaging could end up being a great fuckbuddy for a long time or even your girlfriend if you’re looking for one.
How Far You’re Willing to Travel
How far you’re willing to travel to meet a girl is ultimately up to you. If you’re in a bad location where you need to travel up to 45 minutes to a big city, I don’t see anything wrong with that. The issue is those guys who are more than willing to spend hours travelling to meet with some girl. I really advise against doing this -you’re investing your time which ultimately can create dependence. When you go meet a girl somewhere close to you and it doesn’t work out, it’s not a big deal since it only took a bit of your day.
If you always travel far to meet some girls, you’ll become even more dependent after the first, second, and third date of not getting laid. At the very least before you travel far, screen the girl in or out on the phone for being DTF so you know odds will be more in your favour.
When I started meeting women from online, I would travel up to an hour to her place. This means I’m not meeting somewhere an hour between us, but her actual place is an hour away. What I did from here is schedule the first date between us so I drove for around 30 minutes. On this date I was more aggressive than usual to screen her out if she wasn’t going to put out soon. This way when I suggested to ‘rent a movie’, I know she was more likely to put out.
– Having great pictures & hitting the numbers hard is what ultimately determines your success
– Good respond rates does not equal success online
– It’s important to use 1 or 2 dating sites that are popular, easy to send mass openers, and not too relationship focused like eHarmony
– For efficiently replying and setting up dates you’ll need to download the online dating apps on your phone
– Breaking message restrictions on dating sites can result in all messages blocked for 48 hours
– Rejection happens to even the most successful online; it’s best to just accept it
– Avoid becoming dependent on any conversation or date as a lot will always fall through