Text Game: 11 Golden Rules of Irresistible Texts

Posted on December 13, 2015 by Bebe

The truth is…

When it comes to dating successfully there are very few ‘rules’. If there were, why would the people who always seem to get what they want from relationships never stick to them?

Sure some guys can burn the rule book- and still be successful- but if you’re a guy that doesn’t have a 100% batting average then these ‘rules’ (or shall we call them guidelines?) are well worth sticking to.

If you find girls often cancel, or never commit, to dates; if you don’t get the responses you want, if the girl you like loses interest halfway through, or if you just want to get better…I’d kick start your Irresistible Texts overhaul with my 10 Golden Rules of Irresistible Texts.

1. Don’t ask vague questions:

Make a question too broad and it becomes very difficult to answer; so steer clear of ‘how have you been?’, ‘what have you been up to recently?’ if you want an answer that’s better than, ‘oh stuff…’

2. Be specific:

Want to set a date that she’ll agree to? Then be very clear about what it involves. Ask, ‘what are you up to this Saturday?’ and she’ll have no idea what she’s committing to. The result? She won’t commit to a date and will give you a flaky response. Be clear about what you want to do with her, so she knows what she’s agreeing to. Even better, make it sound exciting and she’s more likely to say yes. So replace, ‘What are you up to this Friday?’, with ‘Let’s sling back rum daiquiri cocktails after work Friday.’

3. Counter demand:

If she asks you to do something for her: make a counter demand. For instance, if she can only meet on a certain day; choose the location and what you’re doing. If she makes a financial demand make it clear that she’s buying the next round. Or if she is playing hard to get- say that you can only meet her for a limited time.

4. Make decisions:

Instead of planning the date around her, plan the date for yourself. Instead of asking her what food she’d prefer, take her somewhere that you want to check out. Instead of asking her what time she’s free: tell her what days are best for you to meet.

5. Use strong language:

There’s no ‘if’s’, ‘but’s’, ‘maybe’s’, or ‘would you like to’s’ about it. When asking a girl out, you want to state your intentions like it’s already a done deal. So scrap all the, ‘would you like to maybe…’ and replace rapidly with ‘let’s try…’

6. Don’t accept second place:

If she doesn’t give you a firm ‘yes’ back, then accept it as a ‘no’. ‘I’ve got to check my schedule’, ‘I may be meeting a friend that night’ etc all can be reinterpreted as ‘I’m just not that into you’. That doesn’t mean you give up, but you may need to swap tactics.

7. Mirror her levels of investment:

If she’s says she can’t see you for a long time first of all note Golden Rule 5; then mirror her! Act like you’re busy too, and are pushed for time to link up. Back off a little, rather than pushing her to commit to more time with you, when she’s already pulling away.

8. Match her ratio:

This means that you do not send her tons of texts in a row and blow up her phone, if she doesn’t respond. Keep the ratio of your texts 1:1 where possible. If she doesn’t reply, then at least give her a couple of days of space before you try her again.

9. Act nonchalant if she says ‘no’:

If you get a flat out ‘no’, or an ‘I’m busy’, do not get angry with her! This will only show that you care more about this than she does, and will only act as a disincentive for her seeing you again. If in doubt an ‘ok cool x’ works wonders.

10. Try a low commitment date first:

Getting a number is not a licence to have a date with a girl: so don’t expect to get one easily, especially if you only met her briefly, or

if she seemed uncertain about giving you her number. Under these circumstances the number is a little ‘cold’ and so a date that’s easy for her to commit to (like coffee, or after work drinks on a week night) may be more likely to get a positive response than offering to fly her to Paris for the weekend, or taking her out for a flashy meal.

11. Go for it!:

Lots of times text interactions can run on and on without the guy asking the girl out. This just kills the mystery and attraction of the exchange. Don’t send her 20, or even 10, texts in a row without suggesting a date. As long as she’s giving you positive signs (check out my section on ‘going for the date’) then tie her down to a commitment quickly. Don’t let the interaction lose momentum. Don’t leave her wondering whether you’re into her. Don’t snooze and lose. Be direct and confident that if you get knocked back, you’ll have a better idea of where you stand and how to make the best out of the situation.

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