7 Missions and Challenges to Help You Master the Mindset of Connection
Congratulations on having come this far on your journey towards be- coming a charismatic, genuine and connected person. If you’ve done some work, and read the previous articles in the series, then now it is time to apply what you have learnt about connections and mindset by taking up these following missions.
Mission 1: Comfort in Silence
Find a pen, a piece of paper, something to time yourself with and a calculator. Try to keep your mind clear of any thoughts for the next 60 seconds. Every time a conscious thought arises in your mind mark it down as one tally (if you have the same thought, this just counts as one line). After the 60 seconds are up,count how many thoughts you had. Now, use your calculator to multiply this number by 60, and this will show you how many thoughts you have an hour. Multiply this number by the amount of hours you are awake (16 – 18 on average for most people), and this now displays how many thoughts you have a day. Multiply your current number by 30 and you get how many thoughts you have per month. Finally, multiply your last figure by 12. This is how many thoughts you have a year, or at least when you are trying to keep your mind clear. If you consider that you are not practicising this most of the time, then that number is realistically much higher. Learning to keep your thoughts in check and stay positive is important, because thoughts become words, words become deeds, deeds become habits, habits become character and your character creates your destiny.
Mission 2: Fostering Silence
Similar to the last exercise, train yourself until you can go for a minute without a single thought. When achieved, then try for an hour. After this, it is up to you for how long you want to attempt for. This exercise will help you be present in the world around without judgements or attaching meaning to that going on around you.
Mission 3: List Five Things
Go and have conversation with someone that lasts at least five min- utes. After you and the person have parted ways, write down at least three to five interesting things about them. If you can do this, it means you have successfully listened and paid attention to that person.
Mission 4: Wise After the Event
This mission is designed to build up your quick wit. After your next conversation is over, think back and consider how you could have im- proved your “Yes, and” responses. It does not have to be the most fun- ny thing in the world. What is most important is that you are getting your creative juices flowing by training yourself to think in the “Yes, and” spirit. Remember, you do not have to actually use the words “Yes, and”, the sentence just has to embody the spirit of accepting the other person’s conversational offer and building upon it.
Mission 5: Five No’s
Go to a coffee shop and ask for a free cup of coffee or tea. You can give a reason, for example that it is your birthday. When you receive your first No – which does not actually have to be verbalised literally as “no” – ask again. Keep asking until you receive five No’s. You can try this in other environments too, such as an art gallery. Go over to someone and comment on the piece of art they are looking at. If they smile but ignore you, then that is one of your first No’s. Keep on persisting until you get your fifth No.
Mission 6: Seven Day Positivity Challenge
Take up this challenge to master your emotions. Get an elastic band and wear it on your wrist. Now try and go seven days without having a negative though. If a negative thought does arise, then you have ex- actly one second to flip it around and make it a positive thought. If you do not do this in that one second, then snap the band. This will remind you to keep checking your emotions. Over time this will train yourself to remain in a more positive emotional state that will influence others quickly and powerfully.
Mission 7: Help Someone
Where ever you are, look for the first person in front of you. Ask your- self, how can you help this person? How can you add to their day, in either a small or big way? Whatever that idea you have is, go and put it into practice. By training yourself to help people overcome obstacles, no matter how big or small, you are learning an important tool for con- necting with others and expanding your social circle.