What Turns Women On: How to Get Her in The Mood

So I was seeing this girl Blair. Blair and I had ridiculously good chemistry. To be honest, I don’t know what happened, but one night, we both were having fun and I was exhausted after work. I was exhausted, but glad it was a Friday.

She was being herself, had on this effortlessly sexy, paper thin, white dress. It was a casual dress… the kind that looked like it could slip right off.

The second I saw her walk into the restaurant, my brain couldn’t help notice how hot her tan legs looked. Everything about her was just so sexy to me (and all the other guys in the restaurant, who were clearly unable not to notice this blonde bombshell walking as if she didn’t have a care in the world).

She saw me and excitedly walked over quickly, sat down and smiled.

She sighed a little.

“Oh, Eric… it’s good to see you. I’ve missed you, to be honest.”

She bit her lip. I was losing my mind, in the meantime.

She just kept looking at me. I have never been so turned on in my life.

She got this look on her face that made me even more curious about what she could possibly be thinking.

She wasn’t talking as much as she usually did, but I could hear her breathing heavily.

We got through a quick dinner like this. It was so much sexual tension exploding, but neither one of us acknowledging it, which made it even more insane.

Finally, dinner was over. My place was nearer than hers, because she was in the area for work and we had agreed to meet up after.

We got into a cab.

She sat extremely close to me, and I could hear her breathing getting heavier, and as I got closer I could practically feel her heart pounding.

Her lips looked so delicious I felt like I was hallucinating.

Note: this is why it’s so important to create as much build up as possible with a woman. It drives her absolutely insane.

Blair was shifting her legs, looking restless and she sighed again. God, she smelled good.

We were about a minute away from my place, when she leaned in and got closer to my face.

We weren’t talking. Words weren’t necessary by that point.

For at least 50 seconds, she seemed to be trying to contain herself, but something else overwhelmed her and she pressed her lips against mine.

That was a kiss that made me feel something I’d never felt before. I’d been with a lot of women by that point and let me tell you… when you have a “kiss” with a woman you end up making your girlfriend, it tends to have a certain quality to it that normally isn’t there.

I grabbed her hand and guided her out of the cab, which she didn’t exactly mind.

She whispered into my ear, “Eric… I’m so wet.”
She grabbed my hand, placed it right on her vagina.

She just put it right there to let me feel her through the thin panties she was wearing.

Let’s just say that night turned out to be the ultimate sexual experience of both of our lives.


The Key to Getting Physical With Her

One of the biggest problems the guys I coach have is about that first kiss. We’ve seen it immortalized in every other movie, T.V. show and even cartoon. (Yes, think about it, all those Disney cartoons are building up to that big kiss between the hero and the damsel in distress).

If you’re not sure and can’t quite tell if the feeling is right, hold off. The only reason you should ever hold off is if you’re really unsure about whether she’s into it or not.

If you feel the chemistry; you’re having a great time and laughing and talking easily, DO IT!

She wants you to. Have those mints on hand because after a night of talking and possibly eating or drinking, it doesn’t hurt to have a minty fresh first kiss, instead of a beer or sushi-breath kiss.

A great moment to do it is when she’s leaning in and you’re talking. Maybe there’s a brief silence. You can tell by “that look”. She’s looking you right in the eyes and she is close to you. If she is standing off a bit and not giving you that direct eye contact, don’t do it.

Sometimes she might be nervous and won’t look you straight in the eyes, but if she’s close to you that’s a great sign.

This is one place where movies can actually help you. It sounds silly, and you’ll probably not admit this to your buddies, but look up “top 20 movie kisses” or even “top 100” if they have it. Watch those clips (I’m talking about looking it up on YouTube, which is probably the most convenient way).

See that look all women give before the first kiss? There are a few subtle variations, but you will see that head tilt, that dreamy look. She is comfortable and expectant. Let her have what she wants.

If she’s just being polite and more formal in her attitude, lay off. It doesn’t mean it will never happen, but now is not the time. Forcing a kiss when she isn’t ready will ruin any chances you might have had for a future kiss. She will lose any sense that you have a connection or that you understand her.


Physical Contact

Flirting means you are going to make eye contact, look her directly in the eyes and see how she reacts. If she smiles and puts her head down, she’s shy and most likely turned on. If she looks back at you, she’s getting in the moment herself. Here is one rule to remember: always go by what she is doing when deciding what to do next.

Never just act according to your own rulebook in your head without making sure it’s matching with her in that specific moment.



The feeling you are going to create is a sense of “urgency.” She is going to want to have more of you because you will leave the date on good terms, make it so that she is the one who is eager and dying for more of that kiss you hardly gave her.

When you kiss her, step back and end the date soon after. Here is what will happen if you get the timing right. The kiss will make her feel “starry eyed,” which is female code for, “very turned on, desperate for more physical contact and shocked at how desperate she really is.”

When you kiss her for the first time, make it short.
When you touch her for the first time, keep it quick and light.

When you tease her, give her a little, but cut it off when she needs more to feel satisfied.

This applies to all things you do in the beginning with a woman because she ends up taking what you give for granted if she is always able to get a fix whenever she wants.

End the date with a kiss on her cheek, brush her hair away from her face or some kind of gentle touch like putting your hand on the small of her back and then stop yourself from giving into anything else.

Women can base a lot off a first kiss, so make it count. She will get an instinctual feeling about your sexual compatibility from it. If you give her some terrible messy kiss and invade her mouth forcefully with your tongue she won’t want to have sex with you or see you again. Let her take the kiss to the next level.

Keep it simple, as with many things you’ve learned. When you have that moment, linger a bit. Don’t shut down like a robot. Let the moment before the first kiss last a little. That builds up the anticipation and optimizes the chemistry between you two.

Don’t make it a long kiss; it should be a short, but sweet, direct kiss. Like I said, don’t be forcing your tongue into her mouth that first time. Let her feel the sweetness and passion of that first kiss. She will want many more believe me.

If you’re in a situation where you’re making out with her, kiss her on the neck lightly and sweetly. Women love the feeling of a man’s lips on their neck. You can kiss her in other ‘’sweet spots” too if she is letting you (her thighs and on her chest).

Being able to kiss her great in common ways, but also finding other spots will build an incredible sexual energy between you two and she is likely to want to have sex with you.


Orgasm on Command

This course gives you a fool proof way to make her have an orgasm every time you have sex. The actual techniques aren’t covered in this book, but Orgasm on Command goes through all you need to know in a clear, simple way that will give you confidence in your ability to perform.

Now, this section will focus on other parts of sex that will be what pushes her over the edge and makes her want to be your woman.

Rule #1: Make Her Want It

First, you have to make a woman want it. When you are building up to sex through great kissing/making out, you are letting her build up the desire for sex. Don’t be the one to start pushing it there, let her build up the desire so she gives you very clear signals she wants you. Letting that intimacy brew is going to lead to great sex for her.

Rule #2: Gradual is Key

A slow, gradual build-up is what’s going to get her boiling over with passion and make her animal side come out. Don’t ever go from 0- 60 mph because women don’t get turned on as fast as men do.

If you “go for it,” and try to force it to happen in a sudden, dramatic way, you won’t turn her on the way you would if you made it gradual.

Gradually turning a woman on means lots of foreplay. Lots of foreplay will warm her up and make her crave you more and more. The time she spends craving you is directly related to how turned on she becomes.


This is Completely Her Choice

When you want to have sex with her, the only thing you can do is respect her choice. You are NEVER entitled to having sex with somebody because you paid for dinner or because you had a steamy make-out session.

She has to choose you, and when she does it’s because she CRAVES you. She wants you bad and knows it.

If she ever feels pressure she won’t be able to enjoy the moment at all. She absolutely won’t orgasm and you will both be left feeling bad. And don’t expect her to want to do it again. You will have ruined all the mojo she was feeling before.

Good sex comes from allowing her to build that feeling of intimacy and passion and craving. A great environment and a great time together will start to build that feeling. You’re creating anticipation in her, and that is the most powerful thing you can do to lead to really mind-blowing sex.

Forming that intimacy with her is easy. Have that great time together; great conversations where you open up about each other and get below the surface. Don’t list off personal things, allow them to naturally come out in the conversation. Both of you will be sharing and getting to know each other on a deeper, more intimate level.

Getting this level of intimacy is activating all those chemicals in her brain and body that make her want to get physical with you. When you keep the pacing casual and have those great, mutually revealing conversations you’re feeding that intimacy premium unleaded.

As I’ve said before, women are completely different from men in so many ways. What arouses them is no exception. A guy sees a body and a face he likes and that is practically all it takes. Aside from if she is completely insane, he wants her. In fact, if a beautiful woman approaches a man for no strings attached, random sex, very few men will ever pass the chance up. Women couldn’t be further from that.

They thrive on nonverbal cues. Looking into her eyes deeply and giving her that sense of comfort and familiarity will let her know she has your full attention. There have been countless surveys done over the years and women universally agree that giving her your full focus with eye contact gets her fired up.

You can create intimacy with the things you say even when you’re not around her. Sending a text that says, “thinking about you” or “you’re on my mind” or “you make me smile” will drive her wild.

She knows she has your attention and that she has an impact on you aside from just making out or being right there with her. That gives her feelings of intimacy a huge boost.

How to Perfect Your Outer Game and Become an Attractive Man

There are some simple steps you can take to create instant attraction without even opening your mouth. Even more importantly, there are a few things you MUST do to avoid killing any attraction before you even start.

Even with your newly discovered mojo, there are mistakes that many guys make without even realizing it. These are easy rules to follow so you don’t ruin your chances with a woman before you even get to know her better.

Lots of guys that even have access to their mojo make these simple mistakes and are confused when women instantly reject them. Yes, this is going to cover deal-breaking habits that you might think sound obvious. Just know the good stuff will come, but before you get to the secrets and ultra- effective tricks you need to know the basics.

Mojo is still the most important factor, but as we talked about, you have to follow every one of these steps to fully harness your mojo so you can start having beautiful women in your life.

One of the simplest, but most powerful things you will be glad you did is to maximize your “outer game.” First, focusing on what you can control instead of dwelling on what you can’t is how naturals with women think. If you follow this logic, you will be better off than if you try to change things you can’t control.

This is an area where you will want to focus on your look and what you can do to improve, but never dwell on what you can’t change.

Don’t worry if some of these things seem basic to you, because there will be secrets and hints in this chapter that I guarantee you’ve never thought about before.

You have to realize this is not just stuff you should do if you feel “not good looking.” This is not about being good looking or bad looking. The purpose is to be someone who shows he has value by investing in himself, so she can see that you value yourself enough to put time into your appearance.

I am NOT saying to go out of your way and become “metrosexual,” since this can be as much of a turn off to women as being against anything that has to do with hygiene and grooming. In the end, women are most attracted to what a guy ‘does’ with what he’s got.

She is not looking for you to be some naturally handsome statute of perfection with chiseled abs and a perfect bone structure. This is not what turns her on and is definitely not what makes her want to be with you and only you.

This is about being able to find your own style or way of being that suits you and makes you feel comfortable.

This is going to be stuff you want to take care of ASAP because if you don’t she will be repulsed. Even Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt would fail every time if they didn’t follow these guidelines.


Your Outer Aura

Have you ever heard about someone who has a great “aura” or a bad “aura?” It’s a concept that many people don’t understand. Now, I’m not some new age guy, but this is a way to explain this overall concept and put it in terms that t make sense.

Your “outer aura” is something I call the overall appearance you give off, including how you smell, dress, walk, talk and so on. This is one that anyone is going to notice, especially if it’s bad.

Did you ever see Charlie Brown cartoons or comic strips? Chances are you have. He had a friend called Pigpen. Remember that guy? Yep. He was the one who walked around with a cloud of dust and dirt swirling around him at all times.


You can learn a lot from Pigpen.

I had a good friend back in high school. Let’s call him Nate. Nate was a traditionally handsome dude. He was funny and friendly. People liked him. He was smart, had a badass car when everyone else was driving their mom’s minivan, and yet Nate wasn’t able to get a woman to stick around for more than 5 minutes. Why?

The reason is because he was making some basic yet FATAL mistakes that absolutely kill attraction for women.

I never quite realized what his problem was. He was my buddy. I’d known him for years, so I didn’t spend much time thinking about his strengths and weaknesses. Lucky for me, though, I learned from the mistakes he was making because of my good friend Kate.

After seeing Nate strike out with yet another woman in record time, I asked Kate what the hell was going on. I just couldn’t understand it. He seemed to have everything, but some mysterious force seemed to be pushing women away from him in every manner.

Kate cleared up the mystery. Nate was Pigpen, in every way possible.


Hygiene Basics

Let me present you with a simple equation.

Mojo + bad breath = Women won’t even let you finish saying hello before they run screaming to find fresh air.

The next time I saw Nate, I kept what Kate said in mind. And, wow, was she right. WOW. The second he opened his mouth to say, “Hello,” a hot desert wind flowed from his mouth. It made me think of what a petrified mummy must smell like after being exhumed from a coffin after thousands of years. I wanted to physically push him away, and hide from him until the end of time. I’m not exaggerating.

I realized that was exactly what women were thinking. It wasn’t anything about him except his death breath. All of his good qualities were being completely blocked out by his violating mouth- scent.

Lucky for all of us, this is one of the easiest things to prevent, but it is absolutely essential. This is a deal-breaker for women.


Your Dentist is Right

Brushing your teeth daily will completely eliminate this attraction- killer. You should brush your teeth at least twice a day. Brush them thoroughly for a few minutes each time. And just like your dentist says, don’t forget to floss.

Brush your tongue as part of this ritual every time. Lots of bacteria set up camp on your tongue, so kick them out. Use mouthwash after you brush and floss.

Another time to brush is anytime you’re going to be meeting people or will have the potential to talk to a woman. Just a quick once over before you leave is an absolute must. It also helps to carry mints or breath spray with you if you’re going to be out and about. It will keep that minty fresh feeling and scent strong.

Here’s your new equation.

Mojo + great breath = a woman that wants to keep talking to you


Hit The Shower

Another thing my friend Nate and Pigpen had in common was that dust cloud surrounding them. Nate was never much for deodorant or showers. This is something I had always noticed, but at that age hadn’t realized how much this was killing his attraction.

Showering is mandatory. Just like brushing your teeth, this should become a daily ritual without exception. Jump into that shower every morning and start the day fresh and clean.

You don’t have to have a top of the line body wash that costs $30 a bottle. You just need to have something that smells good and fresh. Always shower before you go out for the night. Even if you had your morning shower (which you are never going to miss again, right?), always shower before you go out. It can be a quick once over with soap, but it is absolutely essential.

And don’t forget deodorant. My friend Nate often smelled like he was growing an onion patch under his shirt. You could almost taste his body odor. And that is horrifying for anyone to deal with, even a couple of high school dudes. So imagine what that was doing to the women he was around.

Some guys do these things, but they make one simple little mistake that they think is helping, but is actually turning women off. I’m talking about cologne.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a little cologne, but it has to be a really small amount. Women aren’t into cologne the way we’ve been lead to think. And women don’t want a heavy, overpowering scent. Go for something fresh and light, just a touch… nothing more.

You should already smell great because you’re showering and using deodorant and brushing.

I surveyed thousands of women and found that they didn’t really have much thought on cologne. It just doesn’t matter much. The one thing they had an opinion on was when guys layered it on too strong, or if the scent was something that bothered them.

Ending thought on cologne: there’s nothing wrong with putting a little dash of it on, but overall it just doesn’t matter much.

Oh, and NEVER wear cologne to cover up any bad scent you might be emanating. Big no-no.

So let’s get back to Nate. This poor guy seemed to have an invisible cloud swirling around him that instantly repelled women, but he started following these simple steps, and something amazing happened.

He started brushing his teeth a couple times a day. He brushed his tongue, he flossed, he brought breath mints with him everywhere. The next time I saw him talk to a woman, it was like magic. He had her giggling and leaning in closer. She was even blushing a little bit. He had broken down that simple barrier.

Like I said, he had a great personality, and women even liked him from afar, but that death breath was killing the attraction swiftly and completely.

Now he was brushing his teeth, showering and wearing deodorant and things had completely changed for him. He was no longer Pigpen.

He was back to being Nate, a guy with a lot of great qualities and personality that women were actually able to enjoy because they weren’t getting punched in the nose with his sarcophagus-breat and onion patch body odor. His outer aura had been cleared and was no longer getting in the way of his mojo.


Your Invincible Avatar

Now that we’ve eliminated one of the biggest attraction-killers out there, I want to tell you how to get women to notice you the second you walk into the room.

I never had the basic issues that Nate had with his overall hygiene. I always brushed and showered, but I still felt like women weren’t really noticing me. Lucky for me, my good friend Kate was there to bail me out.

Her observation was simple: I didn’t really have any style. She didn’t mean that I needed to be on the cutting edge of fashion. I just didn’t put any effort into the way I looked, and that had an enormous effect on how I was coming across to women.

There were a couple steps I was able to take to instantly stand out to women and create attraction before I even walked up to them. It got them to notice me before I did anything. It was like getting a head start in a race. I was already at an advantage.


Get a Little Style Going

Putting a little effort into how you dress will give a woman something to be attracted to instantly. This will make you feel fresh and more confident and comfortable, adding some serious fuel to your mojo.

You will also stand out from other guys, because most dudes out there do not realize how important and easy it is to improve your style. They assume it is expensive and mysterious.

The great news is that getting a good look going doesn’t take an incredible sense of fashion or an expensive closet. You just have to follow a few simple rules to improve your outer image and get her lusting for you.

You’ll notice that women will even start approaching you, because your personal sense of style communicates confidence and comfort, things that you already know are absolutely essential in getting a woman interested in you.

One basic thing to avoid is wearing dirty clothes. I know it might sound basic, but many of us guys don’t realize that women notice things like that. Never, ever wear stained or wrinkled clothing.

Anytime you’re talking to a woman, you should be wearing clothes that are clean and haven’t been worn since the last time they were washed. Wearing dirty or wrinkled clothing will turn off a woman in the same way if you have the death breath we already talked about.

Putting some effort into how you dress will help establish your overall look and presence. It will add to your overall essence and give women even more to be attracted to.

This is one of the few times I will tell you to look at movies for inspiration. You also want to look at a celebrity who can be your avatar.

Look at a celebrity that has some similar attributes to you. I’m talking about height, weight, skin tone, hair color. It doesn’t have anything to do with how your faces compare, just all of the other details that make him similar to you.

Celebrities have it great. They have money and management that take care of all these things for them. They deal with designers and fashion experts whenever they step out into the public eye. The great thing is that you can get some incredible free fashion advice from watching them.

So whether you resemble Brad Pitt or Philip Seymour Hoffman, there is something you can do to use their look to your advantage. Picking this guy makes him your avatar, an image that you strive to resemble.

Pay attention to the way they dress. Again, they are being dressed by experts every time they step in front of cameras. What colors do they wear? What makes them look really great?

It could be as simple as the color of the dress shirt they are wearing and the shade of blue jeans or dress pants they wear. You could do an Internet search for your avatar and take note of five or ten images of him. Look at the colors and styles that he commonly wears.

You don’t have to buy the $200 jeans and $500 shirt and sport coat that he is wearing. Just take note of the general style and colors he wears and rip them off. You will be shocked at how confident you feel when you copy off of him a little bit. And believe me, women will start noticing instantly.

Women are very aware of fashion and what works for them. They also recognize the styles they see on T.V. and in movies. When you find a look that compliments your style and personality, women will be drawn to it beyond their control.

Are you a more conservative type that looks best in a businessman type look? Buy some extra dress slacks and button up shirts. Get a sport coat or two. Remember, they don’t have to be expensive. They just need to look good on you.

Some of the best clothing I ever got was the cheapest as well. It’s not about the price tag or the brand name; it’s about how it fits and looks on you.

Are you a good old southern boy with a flair for cowboy boots and big belts? Great! Stock up on those items… Are you a bad boy who feels best in a leather jacket, jeans and a white shirt? Go for it.

Even if this is NOT how you are, feel free to borrow from the archetype of what Hollywood shows women to be the attractive male. Think about it… even if she rejects you, it’s not “you,” it’s this character you are borrowing from.

Just like everything that concerns your mojo, the point is to find the style that makes you feel comfortable and happy with yourself. It isn’t about worrying about what she is going to think about your personal style.

It’s about finding the style that works for you, because that is what is going to create attraction for her.

When you find the style that fits your personality and looks, you will instantly feel more comfortable and women will start seeing and feeling your mojo the moment they see you.


Don’t Worry If You Aren’t A Fashion Expert

One of my biggest concerns when I realized I needed to improve my style was that I had NO IDEA where to start. Even after looking at celebrities and copying them, I still felt like I could use a little help.

Ask a woman! This could be as simple as consulting a female friend or family member who has a sense of style. The best way is to ask a sales lady at a clothing store. They love being asked for their opinions. Women get a tremendous sense of satisfaction from making something (or someone) look better.

Most guys have NEVER done this and they are totally missing out on their potential to attract women just by simply adjusting a few things with their clothing choices. You’re trying to be attractive to a woman, right? Then, you should go to women to find out what works with your style and what doesn’t.

Don’t be afraid to get some opinions from females. If you are uncomfortable, think of it like this: what’s the worst that can happen?

She could say, “No.”

You aren’t asking her out on a date or even saying you’re interested in her. The purpose is simply to go and find some outfit choices that look good to a woman. This doesn’t have to be something stressful. In fact, if it’s stressful, you are in a situation that shouldn’t continue.

The bottom line is, if you want to go up to a woman or you see someone who you think could help choose an outfit or whatever it happens to be, do it. If not, don’t spend another second contemplating it. Either you will or you won’t.


Mojo-Worthy Body language

We are covering many great things that will optimize your attraction by simply being visible to a woman.

There is one secret that almost every guy on earth isn’t aware of that can completely kill a woman’s attraction from the start.

Body language can be one of the greatest communicators of mojo you can possibly have. Bad body language, however, goes into the same category as smelling like a flooded basement. It is immediately visible to a woman and will completely ruin your chances of getting anywhere with her.

There are some great ways to keep from getting disqualified before you get a chance to use your mojo.

First of all, you need to understand the way attraction works with women. There are many facets to a woman’s mind and what creates attraction for them.

One of the biggest factors is wired into her brain in a way that has existed since cavemen were walking around throwing rocks at wooly mammoths.

Women like to feel protected. They inherently like to feel that they are in the presence of a man who can protect them and take care of any problems or threats that may arise.

Since the beginning of time, women have filled the role of giving birth and taking care of their babies. Back in the day, things were dangerous on different levels. There were animals and other groups of people that potentially posed a threat to the woman and her baby.

They were completely biologically drawn to a man that could protect them from all those scary threats. There is a piece of that which has not faded with time.

Now don’t worry, you don’t need to remember a laundry list of body language signs that you have to constantly obsess over.

In the most fundamental sense, women determine whether or not a man can protect them simply based on observing how comfortable and present he is (notice how closely that parallels some of the concepts I mentioned that make up your mojo).

Imagine this: A woman sees two guys. One of the guys is nervous, fidgeting and it seems like he’s worrying and obsessing over things in his mind. The other guy is relaxed, aware of his surrounds and happy.

The woman will perceive the first guy as incapable of being able to protect her and she will perceive the second guy as capable of protecting her.

It’s all biologically-programmed stuff, but to her it just feels like if a life-threatening situation presented itself, the first guy wouldn’t survive and the second guy would. After all, the first guy wasn’t even OK when nothing bad was happening and the second guy just seemed at ease with life, which she interprets as confidence that he can defend himself and protect her in a worst case scenario.

So just remember: the most crucial rule of body language is to make sure you feel loose, happy, relaxed, comfortable, at ease, etc. Your mood is the most important aspect of your attractiveness; make it your highest priority.

Let’s talk about some specifics…


Great Body Language is Easier than You Think

Women want to feel that sense of security, and the great thing is that it doesn’t have anything to do with height or how much you can bench press. It is about how you carry yourself, your body language.

It is incredibly easy to communicate amazing, confident body language. This is incredibly important, because not having great body language will turn her off and make you come across as insecure and weak. In other words, it will drain your mojo and make you much less attractive.

One of the first things you need to do is stand tall. This isn’t about height. It’s about not being slouched over like a mad scientist’s assistant. Being slouched and having bad posture makes it look like you’re afraid of something or hiding from something.

That instantly creates a void in the confidence and mojo you exude, even if you have a lot of mojo. She won’t be able to see it, because you having terrible posture will cover it up.

Another huge factor in communicating great body language is eye contact. It should become a natural part of how you act around her. Never ever let your eyes dart around the room, or take quick glances at her before staring at the ground. Take a look at someone that does that. It makes everyone uncomfortable, regardless of the situation.

Don’t stare her down, but don’t be afraid to lock eyes with her. If you stare her down, you come off creepy. Creepy is a label you never want to have, because a woman will automatically close the door on anything more with you if she feels you are creepy. Another important point to note about your eyes is to never nervously let your eyes dart around the room.

What are you afraid of? Do you think a SWAT team is about to bust into the room and take you down? Or a stealthy ninja assassin is about to arrive? Of course not… So don’t communicate that with the way you use your eyes. You’re there to see her and talk to her, so don’t focus your eyes on other pointless things in the room.

You also need to loosen up and smile. Trust me, guys… so many of us don’t realize how little we smile. It is a huge turn-off to women to be around a guy who can’t loosen up and keep his facial expression light and relaxed. It will make him seem tense, unhappy and lead to killing off his mojo.

A simple way to do this is to think about funny things in your head. Don’t start telling her jokes or anything, just think of a really funny movie or situation you experienced. It is another common theme with your mojo.

Thinking of something funny will loosen you up. Your facial expression will lighten up and you’ll feel relaxed and confident and your mouth will naturally relax and smile.

Women love a man who comes across confident and comfortable.

Keeping your posture in check will help you to carry yourself in a powerful way that has nothing to do with your actual height or strength. No more letting your eyes dart around the room or seem hazy and unfocused. You’ll start exuding and strength and mojo.

And remember to always smile. Smiling communicates the very essence of mojo and it is of the easiest things to do that most guys are completely unaware of.


The Result of Changing Your Body Language is Almost Too Good to Be True

I have coached many guys through their “reinvention”. That’s part of what I do as a coach. Let me tell you about a particular guy I helped, who, on the surface, would have seemed like he wouldn’t need anyone’s help.

He had come to me with some serious issues. Like many confused guys, he had a lot going for him. He even knew he had something going on, but whenever he was in a position to meet or approach women, things went wrong. He wasn’t even afraid to approach a woman, but when he did it just simply never went well.

Right off the bat I realized he wasn’t harboring bad breath that could stop a dinosaur dead in its tracks. He was clean, wore clothes that flattered him, and had a good personality. It only took about five minutes our first night out to realize what the problem was.

He had all the worst symptoms of bad body language. He would walk quickly and in a nervous fashion, his eyes would dart around to everything but the woman’s eyes and he was as slouched over as Quasimodo.

I got the feeling that when women saw him coming they instantly thought they were about to be abducted by Jack the Ripper. He put off terrible energy and incredible discomfort by ignoring these body language laws.

I took him aside after his second rejection of the night and explained to him exactly what he was doing wrong. He was confused at first. He was almost offended and defiant. As I’ve said, most guys simply don’t realize how their body language is coming across. I told him that if he could see himself then he would instantly realize.

After explaining how women are instinctually drawn to men who give off the essence of confidence and strength, he began to open up to my advice a little more. I told him to go home and practice. Skype with a friend, notice how at ease he looks, how he smiles and focuses on the screen.

Talk into the mirror, I told him. It seems silly at first, but notice how often you frown or have little to no expression. Smile more when you’re talking. Don’t force it. Just simply allow it to be a natural expression that is part of your speaking habits. It takes just a few minutes in front of a mirror a day and pretty soon your body will start automatically doing it.

A few weeks later we tried again. The success he had that night was almost hard to believe. He walked tall and comfortably. His eyes focused on the woman and when he did look away it was sudden or frantic. He was exuding confidence and strength.

Women started reacting instantly. The man who couldn’t get one woman interested got five phone numbers that night. And the women he was connecting with were hot as hell.

A few weeks later when I checked in with him I couldn’t believe what I saw. We went out and he was leading the charge. You would’ve thought he was coaching me! He stood tall and strong and had a great time talking it up with several beautiful women. He even said that his coworkers had noticed a change in him. They couldn’t quite put their finger on it, but they noticed a positive change.

That’s the magic of great body language. It’s something that is so biologically embedded within attraction that it acts like a secret weapon that draws women in for reasons they barely understand.

He made the changes and his love life instantly improved.


Your New Image

Taking the time to re-invent and refine your clothing style along with being aware of and improving your body language will make you a force of nature with women. You will feel fresh and new with the improved look to go with your blossoming mojo.

This is exactly what you need to start creating a new, mojo-filled man that will immediately begin to have entirely new, comfortable and even enjoyable experiences with women that you actually want to meet and connect with.

You are well on your way to becoming a master of mojo and a natural with beautiful women.

There are some really important things we need to cover before I get into all the great tricks and methods you are going to use when you actually approach a woman with this new knowledge and skill.

Your inner game is starting to become an incredible force. In the next chapter I’m going to tell you how to get rid of your agenda so you can immediately stop having nervous or stressful nights out when you are going to meet women.

You will emerge with an entirely new mindset that is going to make meeting women the most fun and fulfilling thing you have ever done.

Online Dating: Everything You Need to Know Before You Start

2 Most Important Factors

I’m going to start off with the two absolute biggest factors with succeeding with online dating. They are:

1. Your Pictures – How attractive you look

2. Hitting the Numbers Hard – Sending enough openers

These two factors are likely the result of around 90% of your results online. If you have great pictures and can play the numbers game, you’re pretty much guaranteed to get laid unless you say something stupid in your profile or messages.
The competition online is fierce and you generally need to look better than the next guy. Fortunately, a lot of guys online are clueless of what they’re doing. If you were to create a profile with a girl that’s 7 out of 10, you’ll get bombarded non-stop with messages from guys – from needy paragraphs, spewing compliments, and/or aggressive and sexual comments (which now usually get banned).


When you send out a bunch of openers, they will either be:

  1. NeverSeen–It’ssenttoaprofilewherethegirldoesn’tuseitanymore
  2. Gone to a fake profile – Small percentage but does happen
  3. BlockedfromRestrictions–sexualmessagesorsenttoomanyofthem
  4. Seen but not open – The girl judges your thumbnail and decides to not bother open it.
  5. Openedbutnotreplied–Looked at your profile and didn’t like it enough…. Or thought you are not the boyfriend material she’s looking for
  6. Opened and replied but not serious – The girl just wants attention, someone to talk to. Likes to

    have orbiters (guys in her friends zone/texting buddies)

  7. Opened, replied, and somewhat interested – This is obviously the one you want.

As you can tell, most messages sent to women won’t end up going anywhere. This is why sending only 100 messages ever won’t cut it. Fortunately if you actually do send enough openers, there are plenty of women online who are very willing to reply and meet guys.


Respond Rates

The percentage of women who reply to you is not always the best numbers to go by. A near 40 year old friend of mine has about a 3% respond rate with POF and does extremely well online. He messages very attractive women who are considerably younger than him. On top of that, his profile screens a lot of women out who are clearly not DTF.

There are also guys who have a 40%+ respond rate, but don’t get laid due to messaging unattractive women or using funny openers. They will say some “funny” joke or pickup line to get a response, then boast how well their doing online. These funny type openers will make you look like some Mr. Funny Man, not a sexual cool dude. Those replies will likely not go anywhere or worse, you’ll become their texting buddy.

There is nothing wrong with using humour in your profile or when messaging women. The problem is using too much or not the right type. Give the image that you’re a cool, sexually experienced attractive guy that’s happens to be funny, instead of total clown that relies on his jokes for everything. If you’re going to use humour, best to use it in a more of a playful and flirty type way.


Which Dating Sites to Use

My experience and success is with Plenty of Fish and OkCupid. These two sites are the best to get laid. This is due to:

  1. Thes sites are often very popular, allowing you to hit the numbers hard without running out of women
  2. Younger crowds, more girls that are your type.
  3. Not too heavily relationship focused. There are girls who are down for one nighters, girls who are

    commitment seekers and everything in between. The balance between both ends is perfect for gaining the most experience.

I recommend using both sites to start – this can help you hit the numbers harder, which I’m sure you know now why that’s a good thing. One thing to mention is that OKC has a lot more lesbians and bisexuals….I have no idea why.

If POF or OKC aren’t popular where you live, hopefully you can find a site that has a lot of people and letsyousendmassamountsofopenerswithease. OtheroptionsthataredecentbutIdon’thaveas much experience with is Tinder, meetme, match, and zoosk. The current best one of those is Tinder. It’s a phone app which has more recently become very popular.


Phone Apps

Phone Reminders – Use the apps that create notifications, not alarms. Have them remind yourself for things like: blitzing, texting/calling a girl, confirm a date, and even to go on the date. There are a lot of women to meet with and it’s really easy to forget these things.

POF/OKC Apps – This is near mandatory if you want to really succeed with online dating. If you only use your computer, you can’t reply back right away when a girl contacts you. Conversations that

would have gone back and forth for days are now done in just minutes. Most girls will likely reply when you’re offline, be ready to reply back with the POF & OKC apps on your phone.

Swiftkey – It’s a keyboard app for your phone. It remembers your sentences so you don’t have to type them out. If you always use similar phrases like: “What’s some of the best things about yourself?” you can

just press a few letters instead of typing it all out. This app may not seem like a big game changer but you’ll start to love it once you have several new women talking to you every day.


Messaging Restrictions

40 Opener Maximum – POF has a limit on total openers you can send in one day. If you go over the 40, all openers will then become blocked for 48 hours

3 Identical Openers Maximum – POF has a limit on total identical openers you can send in one day. If you go over sending 3 identical openers, all openers will again become blocked for 48 hours

Sexual Talk – If you say anything sexual in your conversations or profile on POF, there’s a chance your account will become deleted.

Age Restriction – POF won’t allow messages to be sent to people 14 years younger or older than you. If you want to get around this, you could always just take away or add a few years to your age on your profile

As for restrictions on OkCupid, it’s hard to exactly tell since they’ve never released that information. A good idea is to follow the same basic guidelines as you do with POF.


Rejections & Dependence

I know there is going to be some of you who will have troubles accepting the fact that you need to get rejected a lot to be successful online. Realise and accept that it’s going to happen. If you get upset every time a girl doesn’t respond to you, you won’t get anywhere.

I can go online right now and do a full blitz and easily get “rejected” by every girl I message. But I know if I keep hitting the numbers hard the day after and the day after that – they’ll be some who won’t reject me and want to meet up. Try not to get phased by a bad day or two of blitzing. If you look good and are in a good location, girls will pull through. The crazy thing is how you never know how cool (or shitty) some of the girls online are that you met with. Who knows maybe that one girl you’re messaging could end up being a great fuckbuddy for a long time or even your girlfriend if you’re looking for one.


How Far You’re Willing to Travel

How far you’re willing to travel to meet a girl is ultimately up to you. If you’re in a bad location where you need to travel up to 45 minutes to a big city, I don’t see anything wrong with that. The issue is those guys who are more than willing to spend hours travelling to meet with some girl. I really advise against doing this -you’re investing your time which ultimately can create dependence. When you go meet a girl somewhere close to you and it doesn’t work out, it’s not a big deal since it only took a bit of your day.

If you always travel far to meet some girls, you’ll become even more dependent after the first, second, and third date of not getting laid. At the very least before you travel far, screen the girl in or out on the phone for being DTF so you know odds will be more in your favour.

When I started meeting women from online, I would travel up to an hour to her place. This means I’m not meeting somewhere an hour between us, but her actual place is an hour away. What I did from here is schedule the first date between us so I drove for around 30 minutes. On this date I was more aggressive than usual to screen her out if she wasn’t going to put out soon. This way when I suggested to ‘rent a movie’, I know she was more likely to put out.



– Having great pictures & hitting the numbers hard is what ultimately determines your success

– Good respond rates does not equal success online
– It’s important to use 1 or 2 dating sites that are popular, easy to send mass openers, and not too relationship focused like eHarmony

– For efficiently replying and setting up dates you’ll need to download the online dating apps on your phone

– Breaking message restrictions on dating sites can result in all messages blocked for 48 hours

– Rejection happens to even the most successful online; it’s best to just accept it

– Avoid becoming dependent on any conversation or date as a lot will always fall through

5 Ways to Say Hello to A girl You Haven’t Texted in Ages

Without Further ado:

1. Make a guess about what she’s up to

If you’re texting a girl that’s been on your mind for some time; then you’ve probably imagined what she’s up to a million times. As long as just one of those times that you pictured her it wasn’t naked; you can send her a ping message based in an assumption of what she’s getting up to right now.

The more specific the better; so these texts are best used on women that you’ve maybe dated in the past. Ideally you’d have enough knowledge about them to write something a little teasing like this:

So . . . still working hard, drinking at JAY BAR & surviving on PIZZA at MIDNIGHT? Or don’t I know you at all . . .

Heavy use of . . . . also implies that there’s blanks in what you’ve written that you’d like her to fill in.

2. Relate to her interests

If you feel like you missed out on an opportunity for a friend—as much as hot date—then you can try re-engaging with one of her interests.

The ideal format for this is that you ‘just happened to’ watch/ read/ consume something she loves and it prompted you to contact her to discuss it. Keep the texts fun and detailed:

I just watched the BLUES BROTHERS for the first time & I now totally get all your bad jokes. RAW HYDE!

These kinds of messages can be a little ‘friendly’ but if you really just want a person in your life; as a friend, as much as a date, starting off small, conversational and upbeat isn’t a bad place to begin.

3. Find the one girl who’s still into you

If you’ve just read point 2 and thought ‘pffff I don’t want to be friends with a girl: I just want to hook up!’ then you can go for something higher risk. If you have a ‘database’ of dead numbers (I’ve known guys
to have Excel sheets of old numbers so you’re not alone) then you can afford to do a bit of ‘mass marketing’. You can afford to re-contact all of your cold numbers with a high risk text. A text that is relatively teasing and doesn’t have a lot in it to respond to. If a girl then bites back you know that she’s keen:

—This silence is me ignoring you— ? . . . ;)

(translate: how are you stranger?)

4. Remind her . . . again:

Remember when you text her for the first time your plan was
to remind her of how much fun you had, and why she gave you her number in the first place, by bringing back the memories of the time you met?

Now you’re going to do the same thing but by reminding her of your past dating. The great thing is now you have more information about her to play with; and if you want to spark a reaction you can actually remind her of an old tiff . . . to see if you can reignite the banter.

AKON just came on the radio, and I’m sorry to say that I still think your taste in music sucks ;)

5. Use MMS to get a reaction

Thank God for smart phones . . . texting just got a whole lot more interesting! Why stop at just reminding her of your relationship/ the circumstances under which you met with a description?

Take a picture, or swipe one off the internet, of her favourite animal/ food/place or anything else that will really remind her of you. If your nickname for her was ‘Piglet’ and you can google a picture of a potbellied pig . . . awesome!

I saw this *attach image* and thought of you

How to Ping a Girl if She Doesn’t Respond to Your Texts

A ‘ping’ is when you contact someone after a period of no contact. Maybe it’s a girl who turned you down for a date: and after a few days of giving her space, you want to start the ball rolling again.

Or maybe you met a woman ages ago who you can’t get off your mind and really want to talk to her again.

Or you could just be a player with a ton of numbers you never followed up on, looking for a fun way to spend Saturday night. Either way, a ping message can help you get back in touch.



Pings are used to re-establish contact after a break. This could be a couple of days after she didn’t respond when you asked her out, or it could be months—hey even years if you want to try—after you first met.


Rules of Text Thumb

If she replies to a ping, a window of opportunity has opened for you again.

If she pings you, a window of opportunity is definitely open for you again.

For girls you had a relationship with then try to be specific when you contact them.

The longer the period of no contact, or being thoroughly ‘friend zoned’, the harder it is to reinitiate things but it’s often still worth trying.

Every time she doesn’t respond extend the period of time before you try to contact her again: a few days, a week, a month, six months . . .


No response?

Ping messages should feel low investment; so even if she doesn’t respond you can still have another bite of the cherry. That’s right: if you want you can give her some significant space and then try again. Though obviously you’re welcome to delete her number too.

If you keep increasing the amount of space, and keep your tone light hearted, you should end up on come across as ‘persistent’ rather than ‘pest’.

1. Privet VICKI, just been to a restaurant I think you’d love: they serve RUSSIAN/PAN ASIAN cuisine. Surely beats your favourite THAI? X

Choose a subject matter that she’s passionate about. i.e. If she’s a foodie talk about restaurants.

  1. So . . . still working hard, drinking at JAY BAR & surviving on PIZZA at MIDNIGHT? Or don’t I know you at all . . .

    People are always engaged when talking about themselves.

  2. *Poke* or does that only work on Facebook?

    Use humour with rhetorical questions to prompt a response.

  3. It’s MONDAY MORNING and ALICE is bored at her desk, she sees a text from a not so mysterious stranger and smiles x

    Imagine what she may be doing at the time she receives your text& how she’ll respond to it.

  4. I saw this *attach image* and thought of you

    Use multi-media picture of something that reminds you of them to re-engage their attention

  5. Hey Stranger, how was your SATURDAY NIGHT? If it didn’t involve JAEGAR BOMBS & bad dancing I won’t be impressed x

    Tease them about their lives to try to make them justify themselves.

  6. You know I only like girls who write witty messages back

    Use a risky qualification to suggest that she’s losing your approval.

  1. Just drifting out of contact feels unsatisfying—I want a brutal dumping text or a catch up coffee next week

    Show your confidence by being nonchalant about losing her.

  2. Hey you, isn’t it your birthday this month? Though I never saw you as much of a LEO . . . x

    It would be too much investment to contact her on the specific day . . .

  3. Happy British Sandwich Day (yes really) would be a shame not to celebrate . . .

    Use a random national holiday as an excuse to text

11. —This silence is me ignoring you—

Make out that you’re the one ignoring her.

12. Welcome to the Russian Roulette of Dating: what would happen if you replied?

Take a risk and make her question what would happen if . . .

13.Me. You. Date. Like Dr. Pepper—what’s the worst that could happen?

Use humour to make her doubt her fears about meeting you.

  1. I still think we should talk fashion, eat pizza and drink caipirinhas soon . .

    Suggest a date that you almost went on, again.

  2. Just found your moisturiser . . . was that you doing the ‘leave behind’?

    Reverse your roles so that she’s the one who’s desperate to see you again.

16. I’ve decided to chase . . .

Take a high risk by being so direct—but leave the door open to follow it up with a secondary text.

  1. Just walked down REGENT’S STREET—but no girl in a PINK coat today. Where is my favourite jacket today?

    Suggest something circumstantial reminded you of her.

  2. So . . . what are my chances of getting a text back? Do they increase with a compliment? If so, good morning gorgeous.

    Make fun of how she’s used to guys pursuing her.

  3. I just watched the BLUES BROTHERS for the first time & I now totally all of your bad jokes. RAW HYDE!

    Return to a topic she’s passionate about and create an in joke.

  1. AKON just came on the radio, and I’m sorry to say that I still think your taste in music sucks ;)

    Be reminded of her—then tease her about it.

  2. So how is MARIA in 2012? I hope just as witty as in 2011 . . . but maybe a little more spontaneous

    Send a challenging New Year’s message.

  3. 1. Good morning 2. Thank God it’s Friday 3. The sun is shining! You should be smiling by now ;)

    Add value to her day, and try to prompt an emotional response.

  4. I’m terribly late as usual, namely in getting back to you. Feel an apologetic text won’t cut it so get prepared for a lengthy phone call . . .

    Some girls hate phone calls so will reply to the text instead!

24. I’m going to go out on a limb and say it . . .

Try to make her curious enough to respond.

25. ? . . . ;)
(translate: how are you stranger?)

Use emoticons and pictures for a more unique ping message.

How to Turn Your Texts into Sex

To kick start this workshop I’m going to tell you three very simple things that ‘sexy’ isn’t to girls:

  • -  It isn’t porno
  • -  It isn’t funny
  • -  It doesn’t show too much investment

    So when you’re trying to escalate via text I want you to apply three more golden rules:


  1. Don’t use explicit language (that’s anything pornographic etc) unless you’re already hooking up regularly/ you know she likes ‘dirty talk’.
  2. Don’t appear embarrassed or awkward about sex (girls *hate* that) by talking about it overly indirectly i.e. referencing her boobs as ‘melons’ or anything that sounds like it could have come out of a Benny Hill sketch.
  3. Don’t try to text escalate before you’ve managed to meet up with her in a date context at least once. If you’ve got a number from a cold approach, chatted to the girl for five minutes, it is going to seem like way too much to start sexting. You may even wind up looking like a porn obsessed school boy. Remember to be non-needy and play it a little cooler. The only exception to this is if the relationship is long distance . . . in which case get the web cam out before you hit send on an overly provocative text.

So how do you go about making things sexy?

Well first of all—just like real life—there is a stage where being more sexual via text is the right thing to do.

I’d break down how to play it into three stages of hotness:

  • Pre-first date
  • Post first date
  • Post sex




Pre—first date

Whilst you can introduce the topic of sex smoothly, relatively early on in a ‘real life’ conversation: I think it’s risky to do so via text. If you’ve only met her once and become too sexual too quickly it comes across that you’re ‘only after one thing’: which even if you are, you don’t want to appear desperate for sex.

Instead try to inject flirtatious banter into the interaction by using teasing texts:

You’ll have to try harder than that . . .

By being direct when going for the date:

Let’s grab some tapas on Friday after work

By being ok to occasionally challenge her:

Not sure I do last minute changes of plan: so you’re going to have to meet me halfway as a peace offering

These are not overtly sexual: but it sets the right tone: that you’re in control, that you’re not needy and that you are ok to go after what you want. All of this will come in handy later!


Post first date

Again you don’t want to over shoot yourself here. Even if you ended up making out heavily on your first date, keep your cool. Sending a gushing, ‘it was great seeing you sexy girl’, kind of message post first date makes it sound like you were overly impressed by her.

Likewise, sometimes a girl may wonder if she’s rushed into things by making out with you: so come on too strong and you could scare her off.

So instead of talking about sex directly, I’d do three things that will turn the heat up and set you up to talk dirty after you’ve got it on in real life:

Make sure she’s compliant with you: this is where you lead and she follows. On a simple level this is setting up the dates: turn this up a notch with a ‘be early ;)’ or ‘wear heels’ kind of message though to create a more flirtatious tone.

Use sexual language out of context: you may not want to talk about sex overtly but use commanding and sexy language to add a hint of seduction to a normal exchange. Using words/ phrases like ‘bad’, ‘terrible’, ‘punish’, ‘hard’ all have a sexual vibe but can be used in a way that is indirect:

If you keep mentioning that I’m going to have to punish you.

So you’ve had a hard day? Tempted to make a rude joke over here . . . but not sure you’d appreciate it ;-)

Start using MMS: getting a girl to send you a naked picture— awesome! Get her into the habit of swapping photos early on by exchanging pictures of other things. It could be a visual clue of what your next date will entail (a cocktail for example) or be a funny thing you spotted that reminded you of her. Bonus points if you can get her to start getting into the habit of sending you MMS’s:

You: Check this out *photo* my day is definitely cooler than your day x

Her: Nope I’m having more fun than you *photo*


Post sex

You’ve hooked up – great! Now don’t seem weird by making sexual references straight away. Instead of making everything sexual (I always remember a girl complaining to me once about this, ‘he hasn’t had sex in the past much so now he’s after it like hot dinners’) pick your moments.

Go for an unexpected time of day: She’s sat at her desk, her boss is grumbling at her. You say:

I hope you’re wearing suspenders. Meet me after work . . .

Encourage sexy MMS swaps: You can either ask to see a picture of her (then tell her every picture that she sends that isn’t overtly sexy is ‘boring’) or you can relate it to an earlier sexy text:

I’m not sure I believe you. May require photographic evidence..

Use counter demands: If she wants you to do something for her; make sure that she does something for you. For instance if she’s tired and wants you to meet her closer to her home, tell her:

Sure—but I want some incentives . . . visual is preferred x

The idea behind all of this text escalation is the same though: it’s smooth. You don’t appear needy, you don’t appear like you’re only after one thing. Instead you play it cool, then turn the heat up in a way that makes sense in the context of both your current text exchange and your dating as a whole

5 Ways to Effectively Tease a Girl You Like

Don’t be afraid to tease a girl.

Whether you want to challenge a girl on her beliefs, show that you have boundaries, or just make her laugh: teasing is a key way you shift the interaction from being friendly to having sexual energy.

Don’t tease at all, make her feel comfortable and you will wind up being ‘just friends.’ Sure you need to make a woman feel a degree of comfort in your company: but what amazingly passionate relationships do you know where both the guy and the girl were super relaxed with one another? Exactly.

1. Use old school insults:

Girls love to be teased. You don’t want to say anything ‘nasty’ but you can use ‘old school’ teases, nicknames and insults to create an element of fun. Think of it as a textual version of push-pull: if all your texts are too soppy this does nothing to create attraction. In fact some people really enjoy being treated mean . . . and kept keen:

Loser ;)

2. Move her through emotions:

You’re worried if you send that message that you’ll over step the mark? Well, think of the tease as your ‘push’ then if she seems upset (which she shouldn’t be: being called a ‘loser’ is playful) then you can ‘pull’ her back in by teasing texts designed to make her smile.

Moving women through a range of emotions is good: no one’s heart ever beat faster over a guy that just made them feel ‘meh’. Real romance involves a good smattering of heart ache, highs and lows: so start incorporating this into your text interactions.

If you over step the mark use a cute or funny picture you think she’d be into (a pair of ‘hugging’ pugs works great on me) to keep prompting her to smile:

Still angry? *attach cute picture* Still angry? *attach cute picture*

3. Set boundaries

Teases can have a serious function too. If a girl has done something to tick you off; or that you would consider being unacceptable behaviour you don’t want to overreact. Especially if it’s a first time offence. This will only serve to make you seem emotionally volatile; and that you care a lot more about her, than she does about you.

Instead you can use a tease to suggest what qualities you’re looking for, and what behaviour you want . . . without coming across like a jerk:

You do know I think punctuality is the sexiest quality a girl can have ;)

4. Express disbelief

Super simple tease: choose to disbelieve something she says. Pretty women are used to having guys blindly agreeing with a lot of what they say. A really simple way to show that you’re ‘not like the other guys’ is by giving an unexpected answer to something that she’s said.

Instead of commenting ‘oh wow’ to her telling you that she’s actually a dancer in her spare time: saying you’re not sure you believe her& that she looked pretty clumsy to you . . . is going to be a much less expected response.

And remember as soon as she starts explaining herself to you— you’re already in a position of strength:

I just don’t think I should believe girls who ALWAYS GO TO TIGER TIGER BAR

5. She IS into you

An oldie but a goodie in terms of how you should choose to interpret a situation (because you always have a choice in this).

Choosing to interpret everything as a sign that a girl is super into you can be a really fun idea. By being nonchalant in the face of any bitchy behaviour, and gently teasing her attempts to tease you, or be mean; is a great way of saying ‘do your best, I’m self assured enough to take it.’

Show a girl has hurt your feelings and you appear weak. Instead use a combination of teasing her and giving her space to show where your boundaries lie. Smile calmly when under pressure and know that you can handle whatever she throws at you:

I think it’s cute when you ignore me . . . is someone trying to make a point?

How to Tease & Text: 25 Texts to Tease a Girl With

It is very important, in your texts and interactions generally, that you do not pander to a woman. Say the words you think she wants to hear, instead of your true opinion, and she’ll lose respect for you.

Instead set challenges for a woman, or tease her, to create that spark of attraction where she feels she hasn’t quite got your affections yet.

Teasing texts can be used instead of connecting texts; and if she’s running late, or if you disapprove of something she’s done, they’re also useful in establishing your personal boundaries in a fun and light hearted way.


In-between dates, in place of connecting texts, when she pops into your mind, when you’re a little annoyed at something she’s done, when you want to ping her after a few days of no contact. The possibilities are endless!

Rules of Text Thumb

• Take a risk and tease. It’s better to overstep the mark and have to recover from that, rather than never doing any teasing and being thoroughly friend zoned.

• Sometimes if she is trying to impress you they can be a useful alternative to over complimenting her. Don’t let a girl get complacent in your affections.

• Teases are one way that a woman’s mind gets fired up: teasing can make her feel a stronger attraction to you, so use teases pre/post date.

• The basic rule of teasing texts? You are the man, and you are in control.

No response?

Ok she’s either: a. Not that into you and can’t be bothered to respond. If this is the case you’re down to ping game and phone calls. b. You’ve teased her too hard—if this is the case, tease her about this fact with a ‘virtual hug’ style text. c. She doesn’t know how to respond; if she has just missed one text, or if there is a language barrier, then this might be the case. Stick to clearer texts to reinitiate contact next time.

  1. So where are you taking me for our next hot date? ;)Use role reversals to tease her.
  2. I hate you . . . especially the kissing bit

Tell her that you hate something you actually love about her.

3. Was you texting me last night your equivalent of a love poem?

Tease her for showing interest in you.

  1. What’s this *attach image**sound of buzzer* nope . . . guess again . . .Use MMS to create guessing games.
  2. Have I been too mean? If so, is your not replying a sign you want a virtual hug?Teased too hard? Then recover using this message.
  3. You do know that you’re going to lose this argument rightTease her into arguing harder, and investing more.
  4. Did I mention that I love how you keep saying ‘no’?Be blasé and persistent in the face of rejection
  5. Don’t think I should believe girls who ALWAYS GO TO TIGER TIGERSay you disbelieve something she said.
  6. Really? You’re not just fibbing to impress me ;)Doubt the truth of what she says to get her to justify herself.

10. *attach picture* yes I am boasting now

Use MMS to suggest how cool your life is, just don’t try too hard!

11. You better not be EATING PIZZA AT MIDNIGHT again . . .

Use your knowledge of her idiosyncratic habits to tease her.

12. Now you do know I only date ladies . . .

Teasingly tell her what kind of girls you date.

13. I think that qualifies as bad behaviour on your part

Call her out jokingly anytime she behaves poorly.

14. You do know I think punctuality is the sexiest quality a girl can have ;)

If she’s running late . . .

15. Running late are we? *makes mental note to slap MIA’s wrist*

Use her being late as an excuse to touch her.

16. You’re losing brownie points very rapidly over here

Have a brownie points system: which can be won or lost.

17. So I lost a brownie point or two with you yesterday. You can only stay mad at me if you assume I don’t have a good way of making it up to you.

Tempt her back into contact.

18. Satisfied yet? Greedy . . . .

Make her out to be demanding.

19. I would say touché but let’s face it . . . you like the bickering

Tease her about how much she enjoys arguing with you.

  1. Still angry? *attach cute picture*
    Persist in ‘winning her back’ until you make her smile.


21. Banning you from saying you’re a. Tired b. Stressed c. Sad. Feeling that way is strictly disallowed whilst we know each other x

Suggest that you want to make her happy: but in a commanding, non-needy way!

22. So how are you settling in NEW YORK girl? Had to CUT A BITCH yet? ;)

Tease her based on a stereotype of her job/ nationality

23. I think it’s cute when you ignore me . . . is someone trying to make a point?

Find her attempts at being mean to you funny.

24. You know I only accept xxx in XXX form?

Tease her about sex, rather than stating it directly.

25. Loser ;)

If in doubt of what teasing message to send . . . .

Signs She’s Ready For The Date

First of all, Happy New Years!

So you’ve been texting a girl for a while and now you’re wondering if she’s ready for the date? Now that you’ve achieved your first objective (getting her to respond) it’s time to work on how to get her onto a date: because this is where the fun really begins.

OK so when and how do you go for the date?

Let’s deal with the ‘when’ first and, later on, we’ll deal with ‘how’.

Just like interactions during real life the timing of when you ‘escalate’ is important. Imagine you’ve just sat down with some girls in a bar. How weird would it be for the first thing you say to be asking the girl out on the date? She hasn’t done anything yet to prove her value to you, except from being relatively attractive. And, trust me, there are a lot of relatively attractive girls out there. Asking for a date at this stage lowers your value, and is an over investment. Similarly the first text you send (unless you’ve already escalated sufficiently during the initial interaction) won’t go right in for the date.

But do you know what also kills attraction? Not escalating in time. If

you sit there talking pleasantly to a girl without at any stage upping your kino, going for a close or just talking more sexually, you’re going to be friend zoned.

The same goes for texts.

Whilst you probably don’t want to go for the date straight away, you’ve got to at some stage, or she will stop replying. Why? Because she doesn’t know where the interaction is going, and whilst she may welcome you as a friend into her life, people will generally invest much more in romantic rather than platonic connections.

So when is the right time to go for the date?

Look at the regularity of texts: with my girlfriends I won’t worry about leaving it a while until I get back to them (they’re not going anywhere right?) but I will respond to guys I’m interested in. So if you’re phone is exploding with texts that’s a good sign. She may be ‘playing it cool’, and taking her time to respond: but as long as when the response comes she:


  • Asks about you
  • Volunteers details of her life that you didn’t ask for
  • Teases or flirts with you

Then she’s probably going to be keen to meet in person.

Is she hitting on you? Counter intuitively it is often the less direct sexual references that are the most important. If she’s putting loads of kisses and calling you affectionate names (like babe, honey or anything else a little sickening!) you may be teetering on the friend zone. Girls will often be a little bit more coy with guys they’re really into. Too much affection early on suggests that she is very comfortable with you and may just see you as a friend. If the possibility for sex is there, she’ll reference it but in a much more subtle way. If sex is a possibility she won’t want to over commit herself by making it explicit that it’s going to happen. Instead she’s more likely to sexually qualify herself to you. This could be:

1. By drawing attention to her physical fitness/ prowess: Any continual references to how she is a gym bunny, just getting into running or has always done yoga because she is flexible could well mean, ‘I’m physically fit and great in bed’. Simple as that.

2. By drawing attention to how she is becoming more attractive: This could be anything from telling you about a new pair of heels/ manicure she has got (she expects you to be excited and aroused at the prospect of her wearing them).

3. By telling you she isn’t ‘sexy’ things that qualify herself as a girlfriend to you: Like that she’s a great cook/ loves dancing/ loves football. These things are all seeking your approval and implying that she’d be a great person to have in your life.

4. Has there been a change in her texting habits?: If she has suddenly started replying a lot faster, more frequently, or has initiated a text conversation with you it implies that she wants a date. Maybe the other guys she was dating is no longer in the running. A change in her texting habits could well mean that there has been a change in her 313personal logistics: she may have broken up with a boyfriend, decided to move on from another man she was interested in, or just decided life’s too short and that she wants to have some fun!

These signals that I’ve spoken about aren’t a hard and fast rule that now is a good time to go for a date: but they are a decent guideline for when is a good time to try.


Text Game – 9 PUA Texting Tips for 2016

In 2016, the year to come, learn how to master your text game by following these 10 base tips:


Do not stack the texts one after the other machine gun style in hope of something sticking because that’s not going to work. You need to come across as natural as possible and not sound like a copying and pasting robot. Know that it’s not only what you say that matters but also the context in which you say it in. I will explain what the correct context is to use with each technique so you know exactly how and when to use them.



Avoid texting her too much, especially in the beginning. Your attention should be earned gradually over time and not given automatically. Find the right balance between texting them enough to create intrigue and then leaving them wanting more.




If she hasn’t replied to one of your texts do not fall into the trap of texting her back the same day. Do not begin to doubt what you wrote. Your mindset should be that she is testing your neediness so don’t give her a reason to lose attraction. If she still hasn’t responded after at least 2 days, open her again.




Don’t be predictable, vary your response times. Sometimes it’s fine to text back immediately, though if you’re busy then make her wait. The general guide is to mix it up so she that doesn’t know when to expect your response.

This rule does not apply if you’re in the middle of a conversation where not responding would destroy the momentum of it or if you’re arranging time dependant logistics so gauge it accordingly.

Don’t overthink it when it comes to how long you should wait before texting her for the first time, though it’s better not to wait any longer than a day so that the interaction is still fresh in her mind.




Do not respond to every text. This may seem hard at first and counterintuitive though you will quickly begin to realise how effective it can be. It will also give her space to miss you.

The best time to leave her hanging is when she asks you a question and not during a lull in the conversation because now she’s expecting a response and not just assuming that the conversation ended naturally. This makes your non- response much more powerful. Text back in 1-2 days picking up where the conversation left off like nothing happened. Do not apologise for or explain your absence.




Indifference is attractive. Be completely indifferent to all responses and outcomes. Never show anger over text or any strong emotion for that matter. Showing that kind of response means you’re attached to the outcome and that you think your life would somehow be better with her in it. Your mindset should be that her responses don’t affect you because you’re fine either way. Also avoid sending overly serious texts, texting should be fun and lighthearted so try to keep it that way.




If it’s not interesting then you shouldn’t be talking about it. Don’t try to get to know her over text and avoid asking facts about her or what she’s doing (save those for in person). Topics to avoid include work, news, personal facts etc. You won’t be able to completely avoid some of these topics entirely and that’s okay just don’t make them the focus of the conversation or go out of your way to introduce them.



A conversation should flow naturally with a similar amount of effort from both sides. If you look at your recent texts and see that you’re the one asking all the questions and doing most of the talking then you need to take a step back and assess what you’re doing. Try to avoid sending long texts, most of the examples I provide here are one sentence or less (usually around 5-10 words is more than enough).



The use of emoji’s will allow you to get away with much more than you usually could and can be the difference between texting something that could possibly offend her and texting something that will make her laugh. Without the presence of vocal tonality and facial expressions, texts can be taken in different ways (especially if she doesn’t fully understand your personality yet) so it’s important to use emojis to show that you aren’t taking it too seriously. They will also allow you to replace overused acronyms though remember to avoid overdoing it and keep it simple, that means no girly hearts or kiss emojis.

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