25 Great First Date Questions

Connecting with a partner on a first date is an often tricky balance between asking questions to get to know them better and trying to impress them with your answers. Here’s a list of questions that will help you step out of that paradigm and into one where you’re asking each other silly and fun questions that help you connect on a more personal level.

So without further ado… Here are 25 great first date questions:

  1. If you magically be transported to anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would it be?
  2. If you could live in any time period in history, what would it be?
  3. If you could have only five things with you on a deserted island, what would they be?
  4. If you had to pick a role to play in a popular movie, what would it be?
  1. If you could be granted one wish, what would it be?
  2. If you could permanently remove one insect from the world, what would it be?
  3. If you could change one thing about your childhood, what would it be?
  4. If you could suddenly possess and extraordinary talent in one of the arts, which one would it be?
  5. If you could be sculpted, painted or drawn by any artist in history, who would you choose?
  6. If you had a superpower, which one would it be?
  1. If you were given one hour to spend an unlimited amount of money in any store in the world, which one would it be?
  2. If you had to choose the title of your autobiography, what would it be?
  3. If you had to sleep with two famous people simultaneously, who would you choose?
  4. If you could eliminate one season permanently, which one would it be?
  5. If you could unlearn one thing you know, what would it be?
  6. If you could be invisible for one hour, where would you go and what would you do?
  7. If you had to give up all sexual activity for a year, how much money would you need in return?
  8. If you won the lottery, what’s the first thing you’d do?
  9. If you could steal one thing, other than money, without being caught, what would it be?
  10. If you were in the circus, what would you do?
  11. If you could ensure that your child has one experience that you had, what would it be?
  12. If you could be a guest on any talk show, which one would it be?
  13. If you had to get tattooed, what would you get, and where?
  14. If we had a boat together, what would you want to name it?
  15. If you had to pick anything as a prize to put in a breakfast cereal, what would it be?
  16. If you could witness one biblical event, which one would it be?

 

Happy dating!

“Do I Look Fat in This?” – Here’s The Best Way to Respond!

“Do I look fat in this?”

Yep. That question. Most of us have been asked this question, and all of us have heard it in a movie or on TV.

What a woman is really insecure about is how she looks naked. Most women have this giant roadblock anchored in so tight that it can seem impossible to bypass.

Part of getting past this is to understand exactly how serious she is about it. Most guys think, “You’re crazy; you look great!” and feel that should be the end of it.

Well, not in the complicated mind of a woman with body-image issues.

Women think they’re too short, overweight, not curvy enough, not young enough, etc…

Like I said, you’re probably thinking she’s crazy for feeling this way, but to get past this you really need to get her to love her body as much as you do.

Women are blindsided every day with fashion magazines, beauty products, and a whole lot of other things that make them think they have some problem they need to fix. This makes women think they have to constantly try to be good enough for you.

Guys will often think she is giving them the cold shoulder. They feel rejected, when in truth she is often so insecure about her body that she can’t imagine someone seeing it without a protective layer of clothing.

You aren’t trying to “cure” her of this problem; the truth is even the most beautiful women have insecurities that they will take to their grave. Or maybe if they get senile in their old age they will just stop caring.

The point is, this is something you have to be careful with and how you approach it.

NEVER EVER jokingly insult ANYTHING about her appearance. Guys do this more than they think. It is incredibly damaging to her.

Imagine if she jokingly said, “Yeah, your penis isn’t that big. I’ve seen bigger.”

Ouch. Don’t go there. There are few ways a guy can feel the burn the way women do, but that is a great example. Put yourself in her shoes.

To keep it simple, anytime she ever has a hang-up about her looks, you tell her she looks amazing. “Do these pants make me look fat?”

“Hell no, you look great in those.”

I’m not going to tell you to lie. All right, actually I am. Say those pants are a little “snug.” It doesn’t matter. A little white lie like this is absolutely the best thing you can do for her (and yourself).

How to Know if She’s “The One”

This blog post is about being able to choose the woman who will be your best girlfriend. She is not going to be just any woman, but the woman you want.

If you don’t know whether a woman is a good woman to get into a relationship with, here is a chapter you will need to pay attention to. This will take you through the decision making process.

It’s not your fault that you are not sure what to do. If you’re like me, or like a lot of the other men I have worked with, women are constantly breaking hearts and the pain is often too much to consider trusting another woman.

As we get older, things just aren’t how they used to be. The dating game is different. It’s not the way you remember or expected it to be.

Maybe you were in a long-term relationship or a sexless marriage that wasn’t satisfying and want to get back in the dating game, but you don’t quite trust your judgment with picking a good girlfriend.

You will know the way guys who are the best with women pick and choose the woman they are going to call their girlfriend.

First, do this quick exercise. Write down 5 terms you need to have in a relationship. These are deal breakers that you wouldn’t be able to deal with (or without). This gives you clarity on what you want. Having clarity is going to make this a choice you feel comfortable with.

When you feel comfortable, you enter a great relationship.

Here are a few examples of preferences or “terms” you could have. The idea is to have standards and not just commit to any woman who will want to be your girlfriend. Commit to a woman who proves to you why she is worthy of it.

She has to not have kids.
She has to have kids.
She has to love kids.
She has to love being outdoors.
She doesn’t criticize and complain all the time. She adds to my life not the opposite.

She isn’t trying to change me.
She wants to have sex without me having to beg.
She makes me feel good about life and is pleasant to be around. She is not a drug addict or alcoholic.
She doesn’t smoke.
She doesn’t have the tendency to overeat.

When you have standards, you end up realizing how many women aren’t that great when you really think about it. Most women really aren’t as impressive as 99% of most men feel.

Here’s what happens. You think about a woman and treat her as if she is a goddess who can do no wrong. You think if only you were with her, your life would become perfect because she is so perfect.

Except, what if you just don’t know her habits that would cause you to NOT feel as obsessed? There’s an image of perfection you might have in your head that isn’t reality. Dating her isn’t as amazing as you think it’d be.

You might say, “You don’t understand. She’s different. This is the one and I can’t forget about her. She’s stuck in my head.”

The way you feel right now might be true (who knows), but it also might not be true. The chances of finding out if you were idealizing her or really do feel this strong of a connection with her are zero unless you recognize the fact that she is HUMAN.

You need to realize that if you treat her like any old woman, then you will be able to actually connect with her. A real connection is not based on an idealized version of what you want a woman to be. This is a fake connection that will end in an awful relationship.

Instead, step back and truly grasp the idea of your dream woman being a human being who has flaws. Before committing to a long-term relationship, you need to know how she actually is as a person to exist with on a daily basis.

Don’t change your life around because you think that’s the only way to get a girlfriend. You don’t have a good chance of cheat proofing your relationship unless you find a good woman who is compatible with your life.

If you try to pretend you don’t like or need certain things and your tastes, preferences and lifestyle all of a sudden change to fit what she wants, you are setting yourself up for a bad ending (cheating, pain and sexual frustration).

If you have to change who you are and give up what you like for her, that’s your first sign she isn’t the one for you.

What if she abuses alcohol, pills and has an abusive drunk nature? What if she’s reckless and crashes cars every time she drives?

What if she blackmails men she dates to not have sex if they don’t give in to what she wants?

What if she plays victim to outsiders and vilifies the man who dates her because she knows she can?

What if she doesn’t respect you?
What if she makes you feel like less of a man on purpose? What if she with holds sex on purpose just to play games?

I’m not saying that all women are like this, but you have to know what could happen when you risk choosing a woman blindly and ignore what she does on a daily basis. How she treats you matters more than what you think about her. You might say you don’t want freedom, but you are not realizing what freedom means.

Your relationship will be the best if you pick a woman who sexually desires you, makes you feel like a winner and inspires you. She’s in your corner and you don’t have to put on your fun face all the time with her. She’s with you. She’s on your team.

Qualification

She has to show you what she brings to the table. If she brings nothing, you cannot hire an actress as a placeholder.

Remember, always ask yourself this question: if the goddess of the century treated you like the scum of the earth, what would the point of being in a relationship actually be? There wouldn’t be a point.

Date a woman who treats you right. Date a woman who keeps you feeling good about yourself and doesn’t take away from your sense of who you are.

No human being is perfect, and asking a woman to be your girlfriend doesn’t mean you and her are perfect, but you are as close to perfect for each other as you can be.

Don’t confuse this with being PERFECT as a way to describe a person’s character. No woman is as perfect as you imagine her to be.

Imagine if she showed up naked begging you to be with her tomorrow after you snapped your fingers.

You can dream all you want, but it doesn’t make anything happen. Choose a woman you know well and can realistically get. If you choose a Victoria’s Secret model you have to meet her first, for example. You can’t just decide to date a model.

You COULD become involved in the modeling industry, move to a city where it’s common (NYC, LA for example) and set up your LIFESTYLE so that it accommodates the type of woman you want.

If you fixate on one woman who is taken, married or even single, but clearly not interested, wasting your time on her will only make her less interested than she already is and distract you from women who get you.

Why waste time on a woman you can’t even hold a conversation with?

Terms are basically “what you need to have and won’t settle for less,” which is a concept that will make sure you end up with a woman who matches you best, thinks of your well-being and has lots of sexual attraction to you.

If a woman is already trying to dictate her terms, it means she thinks you are under her control. It’s more than just the fact that you will be giving up things you like for her, but it means you are setting a precedent in the relationship that has her in the position of power and you in the position with the least amount of control.

There is a difference between you quitting bad habits like smoking or drinking to be in a more stable life condition and you quitting something you enjoy like your Sunday morning ritual because she doesn’t like getting the paper delivered to the front door and wants you to stop wasting money on it.

The biggest thing I learned was that I have to truly be in tune with what I want, to ever be in a really good relationship. This required accessing my genuine feelings for the woman without any bias.

You need to be absolutely clear on what you feel when you’re around her, whether you enjoy her company and feel happy as well as comfortable when you’re with her. If you feel uncomfortable and bored, why would you waste time with this kind of woman?

I know I am repeating this same concept, but it is such an important one I would rather say it too many times rather than too little.

This means you are simply not a good match. Don’t try to force a match that isn’t naturally compatible to become compatible because it’s impossible. You will be wasting your time on a dead end.

That’s what you’re really feeling. Love isn’t some tossed out phrase, it has to be the summary of every aspect of your relationship with her.

Does she support you and everything you strive for in life? This is the most important thing above everything else. I read a funny article recently that really summarized this simple, but incredibly profound concept.

There is a crazy, burly musician named Andrew W.K. Even though I’m not that familiar with his music, the man is brimming with mojo. He had been jokingly doing a “Dear Abby” type column.

A woman had written in telling him how much she loved him, but she wanted him to give up his rock star pipe dreams and leave it behind with his youth. She loved him more than anything, but she needed him to compromise and “grow up”.

His answer was hilariously blunt, perhaps a bit harsh, but the truth behind it was unquestionable. He told her (not so subtly) that she didn’t actually love him. He said she might think she does, but if she isn’t fully supporting his dreams and passions then she didn’t love him at all. She liked him a lot and she had genuine feelings for him, but her failure to see how important that dream was exposed a huge gap between them.

It isn’t about whether the guy had potential as a rock star. It was the fact that this was so important to him and she failed to realize it. He told her to F off and let him be himself.

Again, he was pretty harsh (though funny) about it, but he made a great point. It is absolutely mandatory that a woman supports your mission in life.

If she truly loves you then she has to love the things most important to you. When she is in your corner cheering you on then you have someone that is worthy of your love.

This makes the title of being your girlfriend something she treasures and works for. This gives meaning to your commitment and avoids all those pitfalls in a relationship like her feeling doubt 242

or pressure with her friends or family. The title is important to her and you want it to encompass everything you have with her.

This prevents things like interest in you fading and leading to her cheating on you. She needs to be 100% sure about you and her loyalty to you will be unwavering.

Remember, you aren’t telling her you love her to reignite the passion or fix the holes in your relationship. Those quick fixes are manipulative and will backfire every time.

You are both choosing to be with each other every day. You want that to be the only option she wants. It has to be the final step you take.

If you half-ass it she will have the option in her mind that she could still walk away from your relationship. Things need to be so strong and definite that she has no other thought in her head, but to be with you and only you from then on.

And if it isn’t meant to be you haven’t lost anything. In fact, it’s better you know you’re not a good match rather than waste time trying to shove a proverbial square peg into a round hole.

You want to have options in your head. There are other women out there that could want you just as bad. If love isn’t what she’s feeling then she is giving you the ability to go find it for real. One woman can never break you or make you unattractive. Never give someone power if they don’t choose you. Move on and thank her for not wasting your time (in your mind).

Hope For The Best

You should never expect the worst because you’re likely to get it with that mindset, but you need to be aware that sometime things just don’t work out. It doesn’t mean you did something wrong or you aren’t good enough. It means that the chemistry worked, but didn’t have lasting power.

Creating that giant expectation in your relationship is drifting again into the agenda mindset. You can’t set the bar so high that you’ll never be able to reach it.

Love is a process between two people. You are mutually working together to get deeper into a relationship. You might find things you don’t like that much about her.

The most important factors in your compatibility take time to emerge. The factors that come up over time represent the things that will be most important over time.

People can start to realize in the long term that some things just won’t work out. If you force yourself into “love” with someone you can often find these glaring differences and grow apart. It erodes the relationship over time and you slowly and painfully dissolve.

Everything in life ends, including life itself. The point is to fully enjoy it while you have it. You don’t know where it’s going to take you so you have to put every ounce of your enjoyment into it, or you’ll be wasting your time and will come out angry and resentful.

Appreciate the moment, love it and let it fulfill you without worrying about when and if it could end.

She has to be aware that you could walk away, too. She needs to make that effort and reach for you. Don’t form some agenda where you create the “threat” of it ending. Just make sure she realizes that she has to be making the effort and emotional investment to make you stay as well.

You can never threaten her with leaving or give her ultimatums. This is manipulative and cruel and will poison the potential for you to have something fulfilling and genuine.

When you set strict rules or give her the thought that she can’t be free she will naturally rebel. We have all done this since birth. It is a natural part of development. You can’t put someone in a cage because their only instinct will be to break out of it.

She will start testing her boundaries. It can lead her to start playing mind games to see how much power she has over you. She doesn’t have to work for you anymore, and that sense of effortless commitment can lead her to look to other men. She still wants that mystery to some extent.

When things become rigid and boring she will do anything to get the old feeling back, even if it means getting it from someone else.

She could cheat or start “escaping” to spend more and more time with her friends. Like I said, she starts to play games and test you at all times because you aren’t bringing her that same spark and openness between you. You’ve caged her and she will get bored in that cage. In fact, she will simply refuse to stay in it and will do anything to escape.

On the same note, you should never be playing mind games with her, either. You need to be honest and open with your feelings. Make it easy for her to know what you want and leave it up to her to choose you and work for you.

Lying to her or altering your true self to cause her to commit will cause your relationship to break apart because you are basing your future on flimsy concepts that aren’t a result of your mojo. You will be building something off of a compromised foundation and it will be sure to fall apart in time.

That’s a big reason why you can never stop “using” your mojo with her. Mojo isn’t about getting a woman. It’s about beginning a journey and keeping mojo by your side for the entire way. Never get too comfortable or lazy because the relationship will suffer and become weak and vulnerable to dysfunction.

 

You Are Teammates

Blair and I were pretty much a team. It was ridiculous how close we were and both of us knew something had to happen.

She was not my girlfriend. I actually watched her get into a relationship with this absolutely vicious guy who took her good heart and broke it.

One night, Blair called me and she seemed like she was in a strange mood.

“Eric, what the fuck is wrong with me? I think I’ve had a mental breakdown. I’m not even 30 yet, but it’s like a mid-life crisis is taking me over and I can’t breathe the way I want to breathe.”

First, I had never heard Blair like that. Normally, she’s a very bubbly woman and has nothing but good energy to give. This was a time I could tell she needed me.

I was not going to leave her alone like that. Being on the same team means being there for her when she isn’t able to be strong.

This was a night that Blair later on recalls, “a defining night for me. I saw the way you were and how we were as a pair. It’s crazy to think about.”

Nothing happened that night. I was just there for her and she appreciated it.

The purpose of being in a team is to be able to take on the world with this woman. You are choosing a woman who is worthy in her own right and has a certain something about her that other women don’t have.

You are looking for a girlfriend, but you are also looking for a “partner in crime”. Whenever you see a movie about the mafia, you see this strong bond that exists between them.

If you are always working together and for each other, you will get stronger and will have each other’s backs. If you waver from that, you get shot in the head.

I say that lightly, but you get the point. Every relationship has its hurdles and problems, but it’s the way you solve them that either strengthens or sabotages your blooming love for each other.

When you do have arguments and differences you must always “fight fair”. No low blows, no impulsive statements that degrade your love for each other. If you see two people debating politics and one person suddenly punches the other out of frustration they’re destroying any ability for them to compromise or at least respect each other.

Anger should never enter a fight. NEVER. There is a huge difference between frustration and anger. The reason you are fighting is because you’re frustrated about something. You never want to lash out and compromise the respect you should always have for each other.

You will often read that anger is healthy and should be expressed. That is a myth. Anger is a negative concept that breaks down your communication and understanding of each other. It spreads like a small campfire into a wildfire that destroys the entire forest.

The difference between having a conflict and being angry is that anger breeds doubt and fear. It destroys mojo and is impossible to go back on. The respect is sucked out of your bond and things will quickly fall apart.

Being able to harness your anger and turn it into something productive is an important aspect of your character that will have an impact on every part of your life. It will have an impact on your relationship with the entire world. It isn’t just confined to a relationship.

Having the ability to remove anger and let your mojo take control is absolutely mandatory.

You will find that this positively affects your relationship and changes your entire perspective on what it means to be in love with someone. You will strengthen that love and let it grow into an incredible, passionate union.

Everything you’ve learned has its irreplaceable part in getting to this point. You’ve learned that slacking on any one of these things will be like leaving a screw out of a piece of furniture. It might not topple instantly, but over time that missing piece will nag at the complete picture and eventually destroy it. Think about a mold spot on a ceiling

It’s starts out small and can be fixed with almost no effort., but if you let that little spot fester and grow it will spread out of control and suddenly the roof is caving in and you’re spending ten times as much to fix it, if it can even be fixed.

Remove the anger from your differences. Don’t deny yourself the frustration that can come from inevitable conflicts and differences you’ll have with her.

The point is to never get angry and let your negative feelings take control and destroy your constant journey towards happiness and comfort.

When you overcome those challenges you get stronger and learn more. The relationship becomes something you’ve never experienced before, and it fulfills you and completes you in ways you’ve never even thought were possible.

You Are A New Man

Congratulations. You’ve gone through so many changes and have learned things that will finally give you the results you want with women.

You don’t need to try to become someone else to fit a mold of perfection because now you know perfection doesn’t exist. In fact perfection is the opposite of a turn on since it’s arrogant…

Recall that true confidence is being comfortable with your strengths and weaknesses. It’s about being able to admit when you need help, when you don’t know all the answers and when you are vulnerable.

Now that you have gone through this book, you know everything you need to get a woman dying to be your girlfriend. You will start seeing the effects of your knowledge instantly.

One of the greatest things about the material covered in this book is that it’s going to make you have a better life. You will be out there looking to fulfill your mission as a man without apology. Your mission will become your focus.

Winning with women will happen automatically when you direct your masculine focus into chasing your mission in the world.

This means you will naturally enjoy life more and finally feel like you’re making things happen instead of being at the mercy of the world.

You will see that things start “going your way” more. Your “good luck” will start being more frequent and reliable. That’s because you’re eliminating “luck”. You’ve developed skills and habits that create an environment in which things will turn out in your favor more often than not.

And when they don’t, you won’t crawl home with your tail tucked between your legs. You now understand that there are things you can control and things you can’t.

You can do nothing more than be your best at all times and you will be able to access parts of your life that were a mystery before. You will grow and become more skilled no matter what the outcome.

It’s up to you and only you to make the right choices on how you deal with and react to things. That’s the beauty of it: it’s a CHOICE.

How to Make Her Your Girlfriend

Allot of guys get stuck at the point where they are seeing a girl and want to know how to take it from a casual dating scenario to a place where she is your official girlfriend, so here it is… how to go from dating to actually making her your girlfriend.

You will learn how to make this next step go smoothly. You won’t have to worry about it. In fact, it’ll be easier than you ever imagined.

Before anything, first ask yourself if you really want to be with her. The reason you are committing is key.

Do you actually want her as your girlfriend? We often forget this incredibly obvious question. This mentality fits back into your old mindsets. The wrong way to look at commitment is through a needy mindset.

Neediness means you need her to react a certain way to fill a role in your life you think needs to be filled. You want her because you want a girlfriend, not because you want her specifically.

When you choose to be with a woman out of all the other options you have, she is more likely to say yes than if you have no options.

It looks like desperation if you settle the second a woman shows any sign of interest and you lock her down because you’re afraid if you don’t, you’ll lose her to some other guy who swoops in and steals her.

Remember, the power of choice is a huge part of what fuels your mojo and will make your dating life refreshing and pleasant, not stale and embarrassing.

The bottom line is if you want to make her a part of your life, you will never get her to say yes by pushing the official title on her.

The truth is women love to be in committed relationships (most women). If you are the one pressing the issue, she will feel like you’re smothering her.

She has to be able to feel like she chose to walk down that train of thought herself. When she thinks it was her choice, she wants to be your girlfriend.

Do you really see her as a great girlfriend? Are you having fun? Do you feel those good and comfortable feelings around her? Is your mojo effortlessly working around her? If you are unsure then you shouldn’t take any further steps.

If you feel like you’re choosing her just as much as she is choosing you, then you are on the right track. What this means is you like each other and it’s mutual.

You are not the one putting in all the work. She is interested and showing it. It should be natural at this point to feel these happy comfortable feelings if the chemistry is right.

Asking Her Out

Asking her out as more than just a casual date can be done in a variety of ways. This is still early on so you don’t need to make a big production of it or you’ll risk scaring her away. You just want to put it out there and let her make the choice without it being complicated.

Don’t be formal or rigid about it. “Would you like to go steady?” That might have worked in the 50’s, but it doesn’t any more. It’s boring, for lack of a better word. That doesn’t have any mojo or excitement to it.

Don’t repeat yourself. Don’t ask her and stumble around. I used to get awkward at this point and start to doubt myself and that will sabotage you just like in every other situation.

If you start repeating yourself or rambling you are making it complicated and confusing. She will start to read into the wrong things if you’re distracting her from the simple question you should be asking.

Becoming an official couple works best when you’re straightforward. You’ve spent the time building her anticipation and giving her “puzzles” to work out. She’s chosen to do those things because she likes you. This is an instance where you don’t want to hint at it. You need to be clear so she knows you are sure about this and want it badly.

Don’t give her any distractions when you ask her. Just like suggesting a great band to someone, you put it out there in the clearest way possible. “Check this song out, it’s amazing”. It shouldn’t be anything more than that. You need to be loud and clear so she can be comfortable answering without any distractions.

A mistake I used to make was asking a woman out when I thought things started to go south. I felt like it would work as some magic glue to put us back together. Never ask a woman to be your girlfriend because you think it will force things to be good.

People do this often in marriage and it never works out. Asking her to be your girlfriend should be a logical next step to strengthen your relationship. It shouldn’t be a cop-out to try and manipulate things to work out.

This is where having options helps you make the right decision. When you are terrified that this is the only woman you could get, you will drive her away.

That desperation will still stink like it did in the past. Having options and knowing other women would date you will free your mind and let you have a rational state of mind when you decide on whether you should take a relationship to the next level.

 

I Love You

Telling a woman you love her is one of the biggest moments you will ever encounter in a relationship. The only steps that are bigger are marriage and kids. It’s one of the three big ones; the final steps you can take in a relationship.

This can be one of the most frightening and intimidating moments in any relationship, but there is no need for it to be.

You have been going on great dates and having a great time together. You know a lot about each other and the intimacy and familiarity you’ve established is going strong.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. My little cousins were jumping rope recently and singing that song.

It made me laugh because it took me back to their time and innocence, but with all innocence there is an absolute truth behind the simplicity.

Telling a woman you love her is a huge thing. Obviously we aren’t talking about the marriage or baby carriage part yet. Breathe easy, guys… you have plenty of time before you start thinking in those terms. For now, you are enjoying her and you’re choosing to be with her. You’re starting to love her and you want her to know.

Timing is very important with this. As with many of the steps you’ve taken with her, you want there to be a gradual build-up to this. You’re gaining momentum and building her anticipation up until it’s at a fever pitch. Saying it too soon will suck all of that momentum up and it won’t mean anything.

It would be like giving a runner a gold medal halfway through the run. It isn’t warranted yet and it doesn’t mean anything.

You want her to earn it. Just like her reaching for you and pursuing you, this is something that you can’t just give to her without her wanting it and needing it.

Women don’t get obsessed with something that is just lying on the ground for them to pick up. You have to give her hints and allusions to it so she pursues it and craves that love.

Remember, working for something and overcoming challenges always makes the prize a thousand times more fulfilling. Giving her your love is no different.

Slow and Steady

Telling her you love her is something that you need to let happen in its own time. Don’t cut corners and race to that goal. You’ll be cheating the both of you out of the climactic moment and it won’t carry the meaning it should.

Women love building up to something. That’s how they are biologically constructed. Just like with an orgasm, it’s a process for her. Things need to be in place and working towards the moment. Give her hints and pieces of it and allow her to put things together so she is begging for that final piece.

Puzzles are such a great analogy with women and that’s why I use it so often. If you gave someone pieces to a puzzle and left one out it would drive them crazy.

They’ve put this picture together and gotten past the challenges they faced along the way. The final piece is the sweetest: it’s the completion of all their time and effort. They must have it at that point. They would do anything for it.

You can give her those pieces and lead up to your profession of love in several natural ways. You’re planting those seeds and broaching the topic of love without going for broke and ruining the surprise.

You indirectly hint at that love by telling her you love things about her.

“I love the way you smile”
“I love your laugh, it’s intoxicating”

“I love the way you talk about your family. It’s so special to see someone feel that way about people”

You can plug many words into this statement. I love your ___. I love the way you ____.

You can get a little more interesting with it, too. Those are great examples and you should absolutely use them, but you don’t want to start repeating yourself and diluting the meaning of it.

Telling her you love her smile is incredible, but if you say it every other day it won’t have the impact it once had and it can compromise what she sees as your standard for love.

By that I mean that if you throw the word around too much, she might not think you take love as seriously as she does.

You can say something like “I love the silly shit you do when you’re a little tipsy”. It’s a little “riskier,”, but it’s communicating that you love things that are beyond the standard obvious ones.

Women love this stuff because there is something about a guy noticing the random, little things she does, which makes her feel like the “luckiest woman in the world.”

Just like the quick-fix girlfriend disclaimer, NEVER tell her you love her to make a quick fix. You aren’t shooting a flare out to save a sinking ship. Love should always be the next powerful piece of a strong mutual attraction and commitment.

Don’t just blurt it out when you haven’t put the right thought into it. Doing it without your own personal investment and reflection will cheapen it and it will lose its mojo.

Don’t Profess Your Love If…

There are times and reasons that you should never tell her you love her. Doing these will poison and sabotage the relationship you’ve worked so hard to have.

I do not mean to say you had to put in hard work that felt unnatural or uncomfortable. The relationship is BUILT on a MUTUAL investment that both of you put in together. It should feel NATURAL.

I already said you should never do it on impulse. It should be thought out and realized in your own mind first. If you are not sure whether you want her as your girlfriend, do NOT ask her out because you think it will guard against another man swooping in and stealing her.

This is going to automatically kill your shot with her. Fear of losing her is not a reason to ask her out. Fear actually clouds your judgment and makes you come off insecure.

She wants a man who genuinely has the desire to be with her for who she is. The desire to tell her should be strong, but not because you FEAR losing her.

Do you see the difference between wanting to make sure you don’t lose your shot with her and actually enjoying her as a human being and the time you spend with her?

It should never be because you want something or because she did something nice for you. Say she gives you some great gift or does something above and beyond for you.

That is great and you should acknowledge it because she will appreciate that, but it shouldn’t be the reason for you saying “I love you.”

It should be clear that it isn’t one action or aspect that makes you feel that way. It shouldn’t be the result of a single action or gesture because it won’t be the kind of “love” that lasts.

This is a concept you might have trouble fully understanding so I want to explain it a bit more so you know what it really means.

If you love her because you had an amazing day with her, you are not thinking about the real future with her. You cannot base this commitment on a short-term experience.

Relationships are about being together during rough times as well as good times. One day at a park is not going to create LOVE. Sure, it can create happy feelings and infatuation. This is a LOT different than “love.”

Instead of it being an impulsive thing, it should encompass the entirety of your relationship with her.

Doing it too early will compromise the meaning and gravity of your love. It also is too early for you to even truly know. Vegas marriages fail. “Vegas” declarations of love are the same.

It needs to be the climax of a slow burning fire. This is what makes it special for her. This is what makes it real. This is what gets you a good girlfriend.

Another huge mistake I made once was telling a woman I loved her because I wanted to know if she loved me so badly it drove me nuts.

I was still unsure and I thought that knowing her feelings would solidify mine. I told her I loved her and she said she loved me back., but after a few months I realized that I didn’t really love her the way I thought I did.

I had strong feelings for her, but my need to get reinforcement from her clouded my thinking. She ended up being heartbroken and angry when things didn’t work out.

I had lead her on without meaning to and she had every right to feel betrayed. Women don’t take love lightly; it is the end-all be-all of your relationship.

You have to nurture the relationship and let her know you love things about her, but waiting to actually tell her will optimize the meaning and effect it has on her.

Aged to Perfection

Allowing that bond to strengthen and gather up momentum makes the impact of your love confession powerful and sincere. You give her the hints and let her build up that need for your love. She invests in it and works for it and can’t wait for the prize.

Don’t compromise. When you’re “pretty good together” or “yeah, she’s cool, I like her” that is not enough of a reason to proclaim your love. That isn’t being in love, it’s liking.

When you’re pretty good together, but not great together and not comfortable with each other, you can’t force the concept of love to happen if it isn’t naturally there. Again, you can’t take it to the next level with a magic phrase.

Wasting time trying to create love is a delusional idea that will only cause problems in your life. You will lose the opportunity to meet women you would actually feel a strong pull toward, but if you fixate on making this one situation into “love,” you won’t ever see that.

You set up the magical situation by choosing women who like what you’re about. When you go out with women who actually enjoy your nature, you will find the loving relationship you actually enjoy.

The title comes after the relationship is there. You frame an incredible relationship with love, but you don’t try to build it off the phrase.

You now know what to look for. Signals women give off and your own awareness of your true feelings will make love the obvious choice.

What Turns Women On: How to Get Her in The Mood

So I was seeing this girl Blair. Blair and I had ridiculously good chemistry. To be honest, I don’t know what happened, but one night, we both were having fun and I was exhausted after work. I was exhausted, but glad it was a Friday.

She was being herself, had on this effortlessly sexy, paper thin, white dress. It was a casual dress… the kind that looked like it could slip right off.

The second I saw her walk into the restaurant, my brain couldn’t help notice how hot her tan legs looked. Everything about her was just so sexy to me (and all the other guys in the restaurant, who were clearly unable not to notice this blonde bombshell walking as if she didn’t have a care in the world).

She saw me and excitedly walked over quickly, sat down and smiled.

She sighed a little.

“Oh, Eric… it’s good to see you. I’ve missed you, to be honest.”

She bit her lip. I was losing my mind, in the meantime.

She just kept looking at me. I have never been so turned on in my life.

She got this look on her face that made me even more curious about what she could possibly be thinking.

She wasn’t talking as much as she usually did, but I could hear her breathing heavily.

We got through a quick dinner like this. It was so much sexual tension exploding, but neither one of us acknowledging it, which made it even more insane.

Finally, dinner was over. My place was nearer than hers, because she was in the area for work and we had agreed to meet up after.

We got into a cab.

She sat extremely close to me, and I could hear her breathing getting heavier, and as I got closer I could practically feel her heart pounding.

Her lips looked so delicious I felt like I was hallucinating.

Note: this is why it’s so important to create as much build up as possible with a woman. It drives her absolutely insane.

Blair was shifting her legs, looking restless and she sighed again. God, she smelled good.

We were about a minute away from my place, when she leaned in and got closer to my face.

We weren’t talking. Words weren’t necessary by that point.

For at least 50 seconds, she seemed to be trying to contain herself, but something else overwhelmed her and she pressed her lips against mine.

That was a kiss that made me feel something I’d never felt before. I’d been with a lot of women by that point and let me tell you… when you have a “kiss” with a woman you end up making your girlfriend, it tends to have a certain quality to it that normally isn’t there.

I grabbed her hand and guided her out of the cab, which she didn’t exactly mind.

She whispered into my ear, “Eric… I’m so wet.”
She grabbed my hand, placed it right on her vagina.

She just put it right there to let me feel her through the thin panties she was wearing.

Let’s just say that night turned out to be the ultimate sexual experience of both of our lives.

 

The Key to Getting Physical With Her

One of the biggest problems the guys I coach have is about that first kiss. We’ve seen it immortalized in every other movie, T.V. show and even cartoon. (Yes, think about it, all those Disney cartoons are building up to that big kiss between the hero and the damsel in distress).

If you’re not sure and can’t quite tell if the feeling is right, hold off. The only reason you should ever hold off is if you’re really unsure about whether she’s into it or not.

If you feel the chemistry; you’re having a great time and laughing and talking easily, DO IT!

She wants you to. Have those mints on hand because after a night of talking and possibly eating or drinking, it doesn’t hurt to have a minty fresh first kiss, instead of a beer or sushi-breath kiss.

A great moment to do it is when she’s leaning in and you’re talking. Maybe there’s a brief silence. You can tell by “that look”. She’s looking you right in the eyes and she is close to you. If she is standing off a bit and not giving you that direct eye contact, don’t do it.

Sometimes she might be nervous and won’t look you straight in the eyes, but if she’s close to you that’s a great sign.

This is one place where movies can actually help you. It sounds silly, and you’ll probably not admit this to your buddies, but look up “top 20 movie kisses” or even “top 100” if they have it. Watch those clips (I’m talking about looking it up on YouTube, which is probably the most convenient way).

See that look all women give before the first kiss? There are a few subtle variations, but you will see that head tilt, that dreamy look. She is comfortable and expectant. Let her have what she wants.

If she’s just being polite and more formal in her attitude, lay off. It doesn’t mean it will never happen, but now is not the time. Forcing a kiss when she isn’t ready will ruin any chances you might have had for a future kiss. She will lose any sense that you have a connection or that you understand her.

 

Physical Contact

Flirting means you are going to make eye contact, look her directly in the eyes and see how she reacts. If she smiles and puts her head down, she’s shy and most likely turned on. If she looks back at you, she’s getting in the moment herself. Here is one rule to remember: always go by what she is doing when deciding what to do next.

Never just act according to your own rulebook in your head without making sure it’s matching with her in that specific moment.

 

Urgency

The feeling you are going to create is a sense of “urgency.” She is going to want to have more of you because you will leave the date on good terms, make it so that she is the one who is eager and dying for more of that kiss you hardly gave her.

When you kiss her, step back and end the date soon after. Here is what will happen if you get the timing right. The kiss will make her feel “starry eyed,” which is female code for, “very turned on, desperate for more physical contact and shocked at how desperate she really is.”

When you kiss her for the first time, make it short.
When you touch her for the first time, keep it quick and light.

When you tease her, give her a little, but cut it off when she needs more to feel satisfied.

This applies to all things you do in the beginning with a woman because she ends up taking what you give for granted if she is always able to get a fix whenever she wants.

End the date with a kiss on her cheek, brush her hair away from her face or some kind of gentle touch like putting your hand on the small of her back and then stop yourself from giving into anything else.

Women can base a lot off a first kiss, so make it count. She will get an instinctual feeling about your sexual compatibility from it. If you give her some terrible messy kiss and invade her mouth forcefully with your tongue she won’t want to have sex with you or see you again. Let her take the kiss to the next level.

Keep it simple, as with many things you’ve learned. When you have that moment, linger a bit. Don’t shut down like a robot. Let the moment before the first kiss last a little. That builds up the anticipation and optimizes the chemistry between you two.

Don’t make it a long kiss; it should be a short, but sweet, direct kiss. Like I said, don’t be forcing your tongue into her mouth that first time. Let her feel the sweetness and passion of that first kiss. She will want many more believe me.

If you’re in a situation where you’re making out with her, kiss her on the neck lightly and sweetly. Women love the feeling of a man’s lips on their neck. You can kiss her in other ‘’sweet spots” too if she is letting you (her thighs and on her chest).

Being able to kiss her great in common ways, but also finding other spots will build an incredible sexual energy between you two and she is likely to want to have sex with you.

 

Orgasm on Command

This course gives you a fool proof way to make her have an orgasm every time you have sex. The actual techniques aren’t covered in this book, but Orgasm on Command goes through all you need to know in a clear, simple way that will give you confidence in your ability to perform.

Now, this section will focus on other parts of sex that will be what pushes her over the edge and makes her want to be your woman.

Rule #1: Make Her Want It

First, you have to make a woman want it. When you are building up to sex through great kissing/making out, you are letting her build up the desire for sex. Don’t be the one to start pushing it there, let her build up the desire so she gives you very clear signals she wants you. Letting that intimacy brew is going to lead to great sex for her.

Rule #2: Gradual is Key

A slow, gradual build-up is what’s going to get her boiling over with passion and make her animal side come out. Don’t ever go from 0- 60 mph because women don’t get turned on as fast as men do.

If you “go for it,” and try to force it to happen in a sudden, dramatic way, you won’t turn her on the way you would if you made it gradual.

Gradually turning a woman on means lots of foreplay. Lots of foreplay will warm her up and make her crave you more and more. The time she spends craving you is directly related to how turned on she becomes.

 

This is Completely Her Choice

When you want to have sex with her, the only thing you can do is respect her choice. You are NEVER entitled to having sex with somebody because you paid for dinner or because you had a steamy make-out session.

She has to choose you, and when she does it’s because she CRAVES you. She wants you bad and knows it.

If she ever feels pressure she won’t be able to enjoy the moment at all. She absolutely won’t orgasm and you will both be left feeling bad. And don’t expect her to want to do it again. You will have ruined all the mojo she was feeling before.

Good sex comes from allowing her to build that feeling of intimacy and passion and craving. A great environment and a great time together will start to build that feeling. You’re creating anticipation in her, and that is the most powerful thing you can do to lead to really mind-blowing sex.

Forming that intimacy with her is easy. Have that great time together; great conversations where you open up about each other and get below the surface. Don’t list off personal things, allow them to naturally come out in the conversation. Both of you will be sharing and getting to know each other on a deeper, more intimate level.

Getting this level of intimacy is activating all those chemicals in her brain and body that make her want to get physical with you. When you keep the pacing casual and have those great, mutually revealing conversations you’re feeding that intimacy premium unleaded.

As I’ve said before, women are completely different from men in so many ways. What arouses them is no exception. A guy sees a body and a face he likes and that is practically all it takes. Aside from if she is completely insane, he wants her. In fact, if a beautiful woman approaches a man for no strings attached, random sex, very few men will ever pass the chance up. Women couldn’t be further from that.

They thrive on nonverbal cues. Looking into her eyes deeply and giving her that sense of comfort and familiarity will let her know she has your full attention. There have been countless surveys done over the years and women universally agree that giving her your full focus with eye contact gets her fired up.

You can create intimacy with the things you say even when you’re not around her. Sending a text that says, “thinking about you” or “you’re on my mind” or “you make me smile” will drive her wild.

She knows she has your attention and that she has an impact on you aside from just making out or being right there with her. That gives her feelings of intimacy a huge boost.

How to Perfect Your Outer Game and Become an Attractive Man

There are some simple steps you can take to create instant attraction without even opening your mouth. Even more importantly, there are a few things you MUST do to avoid killing any attraction before you even start.

Even with your newly discovered mojo, there are mistakes that many guys make without even realizing it. These are easy rules to follow so you don’t ruin your chances with a woman before you even get to know her better.

Lots of guys that even have access to their mojo make these simple mistakes and are confused when women instantly reject them. Yes, this is going to cover deal-breaking habits that you might think sound obvious. Just know the good stuff will come, but before you get to the secrets and ultra- effective tricks you need to know the basics.

Mojo is still the most important factor, but as we talked about, you have to follow every one of these steps to fully harness your mojo so you can start having beautiful women in your life.

One of the simplest, but most powerful things you will be glad you did is to maximize your “outer game.” First, focusing on what you can control instead of dwelling on what you can’t is how naturals with women think. If you follow this logic, you will be better off than if you try to change things you can’t control.

This is an area where you will want to focus on your look and what you can do to improve, but never dwell on what you can’t change.

Don’t worry if some of these things seem basic to you, because there will be secrets and hints in this chapter that I guarantee you’ve never thought about before.

You have to realize this is not just stuff you should do if you feel “not good looking.” This is not about being good looking or bad looking. The purpose is to be someone who shows he has value by investing in himself, so she can see that you value yourself enough to put time into your appearance.

I am NOT saying to go out of your way and become “metrosexual,” since this can be as much of a turn off to women as being against anything that has to do with hygiene and grooming. In the end, women are most attracted to what a guy ‘does’ with what he’s got.

She is not looking for you to be some naturally handsome statute of perfection with chiseled abs and a perfect bone structure. This is not what turns her on and is definitely not what makes her want to be with you and only you.

This is about being able to find your own style or way of being that suits you and makes you feel comfortable.

This is going to be stuff you want to take care of ASAP because if you don’t she will be repulsed. Even Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt would fail every time if they didn’t follow these guidelines.

 

Your Outer Aura

Have you ever heard about someone who has a great “aura” or a bad “aura?” It’s a concept that many people don’t understand. Now, I’m not some new age guy, but this is a way to explain this overall concept and put it in terms that t make sense.

Your “outer aura” is something I call the overall appearance you give off, including how you smell, dress, walk, talk and so on. This is one that anyone is going to notice, especially if it’s bad.

Did you ever see Charlie Brown cartoons or comic strips? Chances are you have. He had a friend called Pigpen. Remember that guy? Yep. He was the one who walked around with a cloud of dust and dirt swirling around him at all times.

 

You can learn a lot from Pigpen.

I had a good friend back in high school. Let’s call him Nate. Nate was a traditionally handsome dude. He was funny and friendly. People liked him. He was smart, had a badass car when everyone else was driving their mom’s minivan, and yet Nate wasn’t able to get a woman to stick around for more than 5 minutes. Why?

The reason is because he was making some basic yet FATAL mistakes that absolutely kill attraction for women.

I never quite realized what his problem was. He was my buddy. I’d known him for years, so I didn’t spend much time thinking about his strengths and weaknesses. Lucky for me, though, I learned from the mistakes he was making because of my good friend Kate.

After seeing Nate strike out with yet another woman in record time, I asked Kate what the hell was going on. I just couldn’t understand it. He seemed to have everything, but some mysterious force seemed to be pushing women away from him in every manner.

Kate cleared up the mystery. Nate was Pigpen, in every way possible.

 

Hygiene Basics

Let me present you with a simple equation.

Mojo + bad breath = Women won’t even let you finish saying hello before they run screaming to find fresh air.

The next time I saw Nate, I kept what Kate said in mind. And, wow, was she right. WOW. The second he opened his mouth to say, “Hello,” a hot desert wind flowed from his mouth. It made me think of what a petrified mummy must smell like after being exhumed from a coffin after thousands of years. I wanted to physically push him away, and hide from him until the end of time. I’m not exaggerating.

I realized that was exactly what women were thinking. It wasn’t anything about him except his death breath. All of his good qualities were being completely blocked out by his violating mouth- scent.

Lucky for all of us, this is one of the easiest things to prevent, but it is absolutely essential. This is a deal-breaker for women.

 

Your Dentist is Right

Brushing your teeth daily will completely eliminate this attraction- killer. You should brush your teeth at least twice a day. Brush them thoroughly for a few minutes each time. And just like your dentist says, don’t forget to floss.

Brush your tongue as part of this ritual every time. Lots of bacteria set up camp on your tongue, so kick them out. Use mouthwash after you brush and floss.

Another time to brush is anytime you’re going to be meeting people or will have the potential to talk to a woman. Just a quick once over before you leave is an absolute must. It also helps to carry mints or breath spray with you if you’re going to be out and about. It will keep that minty fresh feeling and scent strong.

Here’s your new equation.

Mojo + great breath = a woman that wants to keep talking to you

 

Hit The Shower

Another thing my friend Nate and Pigpen had in common was that dust cloud surrounding them. Nate was never much for deodorant or showers. This is something I had always noticed, but at that age hadn’t realized how much this was killing his attraction.

Showering is mandatory. Just like brushing your teeth, this should become a daily ritual without exception. Jump into that shower every morning and start the day fresh and clean.

You don’t have to have a top of the line body wash that costs $30 a bottle. You just need to have something that smells good and fresh. Always shower before you go out for the night. Even if you had your morning shower (which you are never going to miss again, right?), always shower before you go out. It can be a quick once over with soap, but it is absolutely essential.

And don’t forget deodorant. My friend Nate often smelled like he was growing an onion patch under his shirt. You could almost taste his body odor. And that is horrifying for anyone to deal with, even a couple of high school dudes. So imagine what that was doing to the women he was around.

Some guys do these things, but they make one simple little mistake that they think is helping, but is actually turning women off. I’m talking about cologne.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a little cologne, but it has to be a really small amount. Women aren’t into cologne the way we’ve been lead to think. And women don’t want a heavy, overpowering scent. Go for something fresh and light, just a touch… nothing more.

You should already smell great because you’re showering and using deodorant and brushing.

I surveyed thousands of women and found that they didn’t really have much thought on cologne. It just doesn’t matter much. The one thing they had an opinion on was when guys layered it on too strong, or if the scent was something that bothered them.

Ending thought on cologne: there’s nothing wrong with putting a little dash of it on, but overall it just doesn’t matter much.

Oh, and NEVER wear cologne to cover up any bad scent you might be emanating. Big no-no.

So let’s get back to Nate. This poor guy seemed to have an invisible cloud swirling around him that instantly repelled women, but he started following these simple steps, and something amazing happened.

He started brushing his teeth a couple times a day. He brushed his tongue, he flossed, he brought breath mints with him everywhere. The next time I saw him talk to a woman, it was like magic. He had her giggling and leaning in closer. She was even blushing a little bit. He had broken down that simple barrier.

Like I said, he had a great personality, and women even liked him from afar, but that death breath was killing the attraction swiftly and completely.

Now he was brushing his teeth, showering and wearing deodorant and things had completely changed for him. He was no longer Pigpen.

He was back to being Nate, a guy with a lot of great qualities and personality that women were actually able to enjoy because they weren’t getting punched in the nose with his sarcophagus-breat and onion patch body odor. His outer aura had been cleared and was no longer getting in the way of his mojo.

 

Your Invincible Avatar

Now that we’ve eliminated one of the biggest attraction-killers out there, I want to tell you how to get women to notice you the second you walk into the room.

I never had the basic issues that Nate had with his overall hygiene. I always brushed and showered, but I still felt like women weren’t really noticing me. Lucky for me, my good friend Kate was there to bail me out.

Her observation was simple: I didn’t really have any style. She didn’t mean that I needed to be on the cutting edge of fashion. I just didn’t put any effort into the way I looked, and that had an enormous effect on how I was coming across to women.

There were a couple steps I was able to take to instantly stand out to women and create attraction before I even walked up to them. It got them to notice me before I did anything. It was like getting a head start in a race. I was already at an advantage.

 

Get a Little Style Going

Putting a little effort into how you dress will give a woman something to be attracted to instantly. This will make you feel fresh and more confident and comfortable, adding some serious fuel to your mojo.

You will also stand out from other guys, because most dudes out there do not realize how important and easy it is to improve your style. They assume it is expensive and mysterious.

The great news is that getting a good look going doesn’t take an incredible sense of fashion or an expensive closet. You just have to follow a few simple rules to improve your outer image and get her lusting for you.

You’ll notice that women will even start approaching you, because your personal sense of style communicates confidence and comfort, things that you already know are absolutely essential in getting a woman interested in you.

One basic thing to avoid is wearing dirty clothes. I know it might sound basic, but many of us guys don’t realize that women notice things like that. Never, ever wear stained or wrinkled clothing.

Anytime you’re talking to a woman, you should be wearing clothes that are clean and haven’t been worn since the last time they were washed. Wearing dirty or wrinkled clothing will turn off a woman in the same way if you have the death breath we already talked about.

Putting some effort into how you dress will help establish your overall look and presence. It will add to your overall essence and give women even more to be attracted to.

This is one of the few times I will tell you to look at movies for inspiration. You also want to look at a celebrity who can be your avatar.

Look at a celebrity that has some similar attributes to you. I’m talking about height, weight, skin tone, hair color. It doesn’t have anything to do with how your faces compare, just all of the other details that make him similar to you.

Celebrities have it great. They have money and management that take care of all these things for them. They deal with designers and fashion experts whenever they step out into the public eye. The great thing is that you can get some incredible free fashion advice from watching them.

So whether you resemble Brad Pitt or Philip Seymour Hoffman, there is something you can do to use their look to your advantage. Picking this guy makes him your avatar, an image that you strive to resemble.

Pay attention to the way they dress. Again, they are being dressed by experts every time they step in front of cameras. What colors do they wear? What makes them look really great?

It could be as simple as the color of the dress shirt they are wearing and the shade of blue jeans or dress pants they wear. You could do an Internet search for your avatar and take note of five or ten images of him. Look at the colors and styles that he commonly wears.

You don’t have to buy the $200 jeans and $500 shirt and sport coat that he is wearing. Just take note of the general style and colors he wears and rip them off. You will be shocked at how confident you feel when you copy off of him a little bit. And believe me, women will start noticing instantly.

Women are very aware of fashion and what works for them. They also recognize the styles they see on T.V. and in movies. When you find a look that compliments your style and personality, women will be drawn to it beyond their control.

Are you a more conservative type that looks best in a businessman type look? Buy some extra dress slacks and button up shirts. Get a sport coat or two. Remember, they don’t have to be expensive. They just need to look good on you.

Some of the best clothing I ever got was the cheapest as well. It’s not about the price tag or the brand name; it’s about how it fits and looks on you.

Are you a good old southern boy with a flair for cowboy boots and big belts? Great! Stock up on those items… Are you a bad boy who feels best in a leather jacket, jeans and a white shirt? Go for it.

Even if this is NOT how you are, feel free to borrow from the archetype of what Hollywood shows women to be the attractive male. Think about it… even if she rejects you, it’s not “you,” it’s this character you are borrowing from.

Just like everything that concerns your mojo, the point is to find the style that makes you feel comfortable and happy with yourself. It isn’t about worrying about what she is going to think about your personal style.

It’s about finding the style that works for you, because that is what is going to create attraction for her.

When you find the style that fits your personality and looks, you will instantly feel more comfortable and women will start seeing and feeling your mojo the moment they see you.

 

Don’t Worry If You Aren’t A Fashion Expert

One of my biggest concerns when I realized I needed to improve my style was that I had NO IDEA where to start. Even after looking at celebrities and copying them, I still felt like I could use a little help.

Ask a woman! This could be as simple as consulting a female friend or family member who has a sense of style. The best way is to ask a sales lady at a clothing store. They love being asked for their opinions. Women get a tremendous sense of satisfaction from making something (or someone) look better.

Most guys have NEVER done this and they are totally missing out on their potential to attract women just by simply adjusting a few things with their clothing choices. You’re trying to be attractive to a woman, right? Then, you should go to women to find out what works with your style and what doesn’t.

Don’t be afraid to get some opinions from females. If you are uncomfortable, think of it like this: what’s the worst that can happen?

She could say, “No.”

You aren’t asking her out on a date or even saying you’re interested in her. The purpose is simply to go and find some outfit choices that look good to a woman. This doesn’t have to be something stressful. In fact, if it’s stressful, you are in a situation that shouldn’t continue.

The bottom line is, if you want to go up to a woman or you see someone who you think could help choose an outfit or whatever it happens to be, do it. If not, don’t spend another second contemplating it. Either you will or you won’t.

 

Mojo-Worthy Body language

We are covering many great things that will optimize your attraction by simply being visible to a woman.

There is one secret that almost every guy on earth isn’t aware of that can completely kill a woman’s attraction from the start.

Body language can be one of the greatest communicators of mojo you can possibly have. Bad body language, however, goes into the same category as smelling like a flooded basement. It is immediately visible to a woman and will completely ruin your chances of getting anywhere with her.

There are some great ways to keep from getting disqualified before you get a chance to use your mojo.

First of all, you need to understand the way attraction works with women. There are many facets to a woman’s mind and what creates attraction for them.

One of the biggest factors is wired into her brain in a way that has existed since cavemen were walking around throwing rocks at wooly mammoths.

Women like to feel protected. They inherently like to feel that they are in the presence of a man who can protect them and take care of any problems or threats that may arise.

Since the beginning of time, women have filled the role of giving birth and taking care of their babies. Back in the day, things were dangerous on different levels. There were animals and other groups of people that potentially posed a threat to the woman and her baby.

They were completely biologically drawn to a man that could protect them from all those scary threats. There is a piece of that which has not faded with time.

Now don’t worry, you don’t need to remember a laundry list of body language signs that you have to constantly obsess over.

In the most fundamental sense, women determine whether or not a man can protect them simply based on observing how comfortable and present he is (notice how closely that parallels some of the concepts I mentioned that make up your mojo).

Imagine this: A woman sees two guys. One of the guys is nervous, fidgeting and it seems like he’s worrying and obsessing over things in his mind. The other guy is relaxed, aware of his surrounds and happy.

The woman will perceive the first guy as incapable of being able to protect her and she will perceive the second guy as capable of protecting her.

It’s all biologically-programmed stuff, but to her it just feels like if a life-threatening situation presented itself, the first guy wouldn’t survive and the second guy would. After all, the first guy wasn’t even OK when nothing bad was happening and the second guy just seemed at ease with life, which she interprets as confidence that he can defend himself and protect her in a worst case scenario.

So just remember: the most crucial rule of body language is to make sure you feel loose, happy, relaxed, comfortable, at ease, etc. Your mood is the most important aspect of your attractiveness; make it your highest priority.

Let’s talk about some specifics…

 

Great Body Language is Easier than You Think

Women want to feel that sense of security, and the great thing is that it doesn’t have anything to do with height or how much you can bench press. It is about how you carry yourself, your body language.

It is incredibly easy to communicate amazing, confident body language. This is incredibly important, because not having great body language will turn her off and make you come across as insecure and weak. In other words, it will drain your mojo and make you much less attractive.

One of the first things you need to do is stand tall. This isn’t about height. It’s about not being slouched over like a mad scientist’s assistant. Being slouched and having bad posture makes it look like you’re afraid of something or hiding from something.

That instantly creates a void in the confidence and mojo you exude, even if you have a lot of mojo. She won’t be able to see it, because you having terrible posture will cover it up.

Another huge factor in communicating great body language is eye contact. It should become a natural part of how you act around her. Never ever let your eyes dart around the room, or take quick glances at her before staring at the ground. Take a look at someone that does that. It makes everyone uncomfortable, regardless of the situation.

Don’t stare her down, but don’t be afraid to lock eyes with her. If you stare her down, you come off creepy. Creepy is a label you never want to have, because a woman will automatically close the door on anything more with you if she feels you are creepy. Another important point to note about your eyes is to never nervously let your eyes dart around the room.

What are you afraid of? Do you think a SWAT team is about to bust into the room and take you down? Or a stealthy ninja assassin is about to arrive? Of course not… So don’t communicate that with the way you use your eyes. You’re there to see her and talk to her, so don’t focus your eyes on other pointless things in the room.

You also need to loosen up and smile. Trust me, guys… so many of us don’t realize how little we smile. It is a huge turn-off to women to be around a guy who can’t loosen up and keep his facial expression light and relaxed. It will make him seem tense, unhappy and lead to killing off his mojo.

A simple way to do this is to think about funny things in your head. Don’t start telling her jokes or anything, just think of a really funny movie or situation you experienced. It is another common theme with your mojo.

Thinking of something funny will loosen you up. Your facial expression will lighten up and you’ll feel relaxed and confident and your mouth will naturally relax and smile.

Women love a man who comes across confident and comfortable.

Keeping your posture in check will help you to carry yourself in a powerful way that has nothing to do with your actual height or strength. No more letting your eyes dart around the room or seem hazy and unfocused. You’ll start exuding and strength and mojo.

And remember to always smile. Smiling communicates the very essence of mojo and it is of the easiest things to do that most guys are completely unaware of.

 

The Result of Changing Your Body Language is Almost Too Good to Be True

I have coached many guys through their “reinvention”. That’s part of what I do as a coach. Let me tell you about a particular guy I helped, who, on the surface, would have seemed like he wouldn’t need anyone’s help.

He had come to me with some serious issues. Like many confused guys, he had a lot going for him. He even knew he had something going on, but whenever he was in a position to meet or approach women, things went wrong. He wasn’t even afraid to approach a woman, but when he did it just simply never went well.

Right off the bat I realized he wasn’t harboring bad breath that could stop a dinosaur dead in its tracks. He was clean, wore clothes that flattered him, and had a good personality. It only took about five minutes our first night out to realize what the problem was.

He had all the worst symptoms of bad body language. He would walk quickly and in a nervous fashion, his eyes would dart around to everything but the woman’s eyes and he was as slouched over as Quasimodo.

I got the feeling that when women saw him coming they instantly thought they were about to be abducted by Jack the Ripper. He put off terrible energy and incredible discomfort by ignoring these body language laws.

I took him aside after his second rejection of the night and explained to him exactly what he was doing wrong. He was confused at first. He was almost offended and defiant. As I’ve said, most guys simply don’t realize how their body language is coming across. I told him that if he could see himself then he would instantly realize.

After explaining how women are instinctually drawn to men who give off the essence of confidence and strength, he began to open up to my advice a little more. I told him to go home and practice. Skype with a friend, notice how at ease he looks, how he smiles and focuses on the screen.

Talk into the mirror, I told him. It seems silly at first, but notice how often you frown or have little to no expression. Smile more when you’re talking. Don’t force it. Just simply allow it to be a natural expression that is part of your speaking habits. It takes just a few minutes in front of a mirror a day and pretty soon your body will start automatically doing it.

A few weeks later we tried again. The success he had that night was almost hard to believe. He walked tall and comfortably. His eyes focused on the woman and when he did look away it was sudden or frantic. He was exuding confidence and strength.

Women started reacting instantly. The man who couldn’t get one woman interested got five phone numbers that night. And the women he was connecting with were hot as hell.

A few weeks later when I checked in with him I couldn’t believe what I saw. We went out and he was leading the charge. You would’ve thought he was coaching me! He stood tall and strong and had a great time talking it up with several beautiful women. He even said that his coworkers had noticed a change in him. They couldn’t quite put their finger on it, but they noticed a positive change.

That’s the magic of great body language. It’s something that is so biologically embedded within attraction that it acts like a secret weapon that draws women in for reasons they barely understand.

He made the changes and his love life instantly improved.

 

Your New Image

Taking the time to re-invent and refine your clothing style along with being aware of and improving your body language will make you a force of nature with women. You will feel fresh and new with the improved look to go with your blossoming mojo.

This is exactly what you need to start creating a new, mojo-filled man that will immediately begin to have entirely new, comfortable and even enjoyable experiences with women that you actually want to meet and connect with.

You are well on your way to becoming a master of mojo and a natural with beautiful women.

There are some really important things we need to cover before I get into all the great tricks and methods you are going to use when you actually approach a woman with this new knowledge and skill.

Your inner game is starting to become an incredible force. In the next chapter I’m going to tell you how to get rid of your agenda so you can immediately stop having nervous or stressful nights out when you are going to meet women.

You will emerge with an entirely new mindset that is going to make meeting women the most fun and fulfilling thing you have ever done.

Online Dating: Everything You Need to Know Before You Start

2 Most Important Factors

I’m going to start off with the two absolute biggest factors with succeeding with online dating. They are:

1. Your Pictures – How attractive you look

2. Hitting the Numbers Hard – Sending enough openers

These two factors are likely the result of around 90% of your results online. If you have great pictures and can play the numbers game, you’re pretty much guaranteed to get laid unless you say something stupid in your profile or messages.
The competition online is fierce and you generally need to look better than the next guy. Fortunately, a lot of guys online are clueless of what they’re doing. If you were to create a profile with a girl that’s 7 out of 10, you’ll get bombarded non-stop with messages from guys – from needy paragraphs, spewing compliments, and/or aggressive and sexual comments (which now usually get banned).

 

When you send out a bunch of openers, they will either be:

  1. NeverSeen–It’ssenttoaprofilewherethegirldoesn’tuseitanymore
  2. Gone to a fake profile – Small percentage but does happen
  3. BlockedfromRestrictions–sexualmessagesorsenttoomanyofthem
  4. Seen but not open – The girl judges your thumbnail and decides to not bother open it.
  5. Openedbutnotreplied–Looked at your profile and didn’t like it enough…. Or thought you are not the boyfriend material she’s looking for
  6. Opened and replied but not serious – The girl just wants attention, someone to talk to. Likes to

    have orbiters (guys in her friends zone/texting buddies)

  7. Opened, replied, and somewhat interested – This is obviously the one you want.

As you can tell, most messages sent to women won’t end up going anywhere. This is why sending only 100 messages ever won’t cut it. Fortunately if you actually do send enough openers, there are plenty of women online who are very willing to reply and meet guys.

 

Respond Rates

The percentage of women who reply to you is not always the best numbers to go by. A near 40 year old friend of mine has about a 3% respond rate with POF and does extremely well online. He messages very attractive women who are considerably younger than him. On top of that, his profile screens a lot of women out who are clearly not DTF.

There are also guys who have a 40%+ respond rate, but don’t get laid due to messaging unattractive women or using funny openers. They will say some “funny” joke or pickup line to get a response, then boast how well their doing online. These funny type openers will make you look like some Mr. Funny Man, not a sexual cool dude. Those replies will likely not go anywhere or worse, you’ll become their texting buddy.

There is nothing wrong with using humour in your profile or when messaging women. The problem is using too much or not the right type. Give the image that you’re a cool, sexually experienced attractive guy that’s happens to be funny, instead of total clown that relies on his jokes for everything. If you’re going to use humour, best to use it in a more of a playful and flirty type way.

 

Which Dating Sites to Use

My experience and success is with Plenty of Fish and OkCupid. These two sites are the best to get laid. This is due to:

  1. Thes sites are often very popular, allowing you to hit the numbers hard without running out of women
  2. Younger crowds, more girls that are your type.
  3. Not too heavily relationship focused. There are girls who are down for one nighters, girls who are

    commitment seekers and everything in between. The balance between both ends is perfect for gaining the most experience.

I recommend using both sites to start – this can help you hit the numbers harder, which I’m sure you know now why that’s a good thing. One thing to mention is that OKC has a lot more lesbians and bisexuals….I have no idea why.

If POF or OKC aren’t popular where you live, hopefully you can find a site that has a lot of people and letsyousendmassamountsofopenerswithease. OtheroptionsthataredecentbutIdon’thaveas much experience with is Tinder, meetme, match, and zoosk. The current best one of those is Tinder. It’s a phone app which has more recently become very popular.

 

Phone Apps

Phone Reminders – Use the apps that create notifications, not alarms. Have them remind yourself for things like: blitzing, texting/calling a girl, confirm a date, and even to go on the date. There are a lot of women to meet with and it’s really easy to forget these things.

POF/OKC Apps – This is near mandatory if you want to really succeed with online dating. If you only use your computer, you can’t reply back right away when a girl contacts you. Conversations that

would have gone back and forth for days are now done in just minutes. Most girls will likely reply when you’re offline, be ready to reply back with the POF & OKC apps on your phone.

Swiftkey – It’s a keyboard app for your phone. It remembers your sentences so you don’t have to type them out. If you always use similar phrases like: “What’s some of the best things about yourself?” you can

just press a few letters instead of typing it all out. This app may not seem like a big game changer but you’ll start to love it once you have several new women talking to you every day.

 

Messaging Restrictions

40 Opener Maximum – POF has a limit on total openers you can send in one day. If you go over the 40, all openers will then become blocked for 48 hours

3 Identical Openers Maximum – POF has a limit on total identical openers you can send in one day. If you go over sending 3 identical openers, all openers will again become blocked for 48 hours

Sexual Talk – If you say anything sexual in your conversations or profile on POF, there’s a chance your account will become deleted.

Age Restriction – POF won’t allow messages to be sent to people 14 years younger or older than you. If you want to get around this, you could always just take away or add a few years to your age on your profile

As for restrictions on OkCupid, it’s hard to exactly tell since they’ve never released that information. A good idea is to follow the same basic guidelines as you do with POF.

 

Rejections & Dependence

I know there is going to be some of you who will have troubles accepting the fact that you need to get rejected a lot to be successful online. Realise and accept that it’s going to happen. If you get upset every time a girl doesn’t respond to you, you won’t get anywhere.

I can go online right now and do a full blitz and easily get “rejected” by every girl I message. But I know if I keep hitting the numbers hard the day after and the day after that – they’ll be some who won’t reject me and want to meet up. Try not to get phased by a bad day or two of blitzing. If you look good and are in a good location, girls will pull through. The crazy thing is how you never know how cool (or shitty) some of the girls online are that you met with. Who knows maybe that one girl you’re messaging could end up being a great fuckbuddy for a long time or even your girlfriend if you’re looking for one.

 

How Far You’re Willing to Travel

How far you’re willing to travel to meet a girl is ultimately up to you. If you’re in a bad location where you need to travel up to 45 minutes to a big city, I don’t see anything wrong with that. The issue is those guys who are more than willing to spend hours travelling to meet with some girl. I really advise against doing this -you’re investing your time which ultimately can create dependence. When you go meet a girl somewhere close to you and it doesn’t work out, it’s not a big deal since it only took a bit of your day.

If you always travel far to meet some girls, you’ll become even more dependent after the first, second, and third date of not getting laid. At the very least before you travel far, screen the girl in or out on the phone for being DTF so you know odds will be more in your favour.

When I started meeting women from online, I would travel up to an hour to her place. This means I’m not meeting somewhere an hour between us, but her actual place is an hour away. What I did from here is schedule the first date between us so I drove for around 30 minutes. On this date I was more aggressive than usual to screen her out if she wasn’t going to put out soon. This way when I suggested to ‘rent a movie’, I know she was more likely to put out.

 

Summary

– Having great pictures & hitting the numbers hard is what ultimately determines your success

– Good respond rates does not equal success online
– It’s important to use 1 or 2 dating sites that are popular, easy to send mass openers, and not too relationship focused like eHarmony

– For efficiently replying and setting up dates you’ll need to download the online dating apps on your phone

– Breaking message restrictions on dating sites can result in all messages blocked for 48 hours

– Rejection happens to even the most successful online; it’s best to just accept it

– Avoid becoming dependent on any conversation or date as a lot will always fall through

5 Ways to Say Hello to A girl You Haven’t Texted in Ages

Without Further ado:

1. Make a guess about what she’s up to

If you’re texting a girl that’s been on your mind for some time; then you’ve probably imagined what she’s up to a million times. As long as just one of those times that you pictured her it wasn’t naked; you can send her a ping message based in an assumption of what she’s getting up to right now.

The more specific the better; so these texts are best used on women that you’ve maybe dated in the past. Ideally you’d have enough knowledge about them to write something a little teasing like this:

So . . . still working hard, drinking at JAY BAR & surviving on PIZZA at MIDNIGHT? Or don’t I know you at all . . .

Heavy use of . . . . also implies that there’s blanks in what you’ve written that you’d like her to fill in.

2. Relate to her interests

If you feel like you missed out on an opportunity for a friend—as much as hot date—then you can try re-engaging with one of her interests.

The ideal format for this is that you ‘just happened to’ watch/ read/ consume something she loves and it prompted you to contact her to discuss it. Keep the texts fun and detailed:

I just watched the BLUES BROTHERS for the first time & I now totally get all your bad jokes. RAW HYDE!

These kinds of messages can be a little ‘friendly’ but if you really just want a person in your life; as a friend, as much as a date, starting off small, conversational and upbeat isn’t a bad place to begin.

3. Find the one girl who’s still into you

If you’ve just read point 2 and thought ‘pffff I don’t want to be friends with a girl: I just want to hook up!’ then you can go for something higher risk. If you have a ‘database’ of dead numbers (I’ve known guys
to have Excel sheets of old numbers so you’re not alone) then you can afford to do a bit of ‘mass marketing’. You can afford to re-contact all of your cold numbers with a high risk text. A text that is relatively teasing and doesn’t have a lot in it to respond to. If a girl then bites back you know that she’s keen:

—This silence is me ignoring you— ? . . . ;)

(translate: how are you stranger?)

4. Remind her . . . again:

Remember when you text her for the first time your plan was
to remind her of how much fun you had, and why she gave you her number in the first place, by bringing back the memories of the time you met?

Now you’re going to do the same thing but by reminding her of your past dating. The great thing is now you have more information about her to play with; and if you want to spark a reaction you can actually remind her of an old tiff . . . to see if you can reignite the banter.

AKON just came on the radio, and I’m sorry to say that I still think your taste in music sucks ;)

5. Use MMS to get a reaction

Thank God for smart phones . . . texting just got a whole lot more interesting! Why stop at just reminding her of your relationship/ the circumstances under which you met with a description?

Take a picture, or swipe one off the internet, of her favourite animal/ food/place or anything else that will really remind her of you. If your nickname for her was ‘Piglet’ and you can google a picture of a potbellied pig . . . awesome!

I saw this *attach image* and thought of you

How to Ping a Girl if She Doesn’t Respond to Your Texts

A ‘ping’ is when you contact someone after a period of no contact. Maybe it’s a girl who turned you down for a date: and after a few days of giving her space, you want to start the ball rolling again.

Or maybe you met a woman ages ago who you can’t get off your mind and really want to talk to her again.

Or you could just be a player with a ton of numbers you never followed up on, looking for a fun way to spend Saturday night. Either way, a ping message can help you get back in touch.

 

When?

Pings are used to re-establish contact after a break. This could be a couple of days after she didn’t respond when you asked her out, or it could be months—hey even years if you want to try—after you first met.

 

Rules of Text Thumb

If she replies to a ping, a window of opportunity has opened for you again.

If she pings you, a window of opportunity is definitely open for you again.

For girls you had a relationship with then try to be specific when you contact them.

The longer the period of no contact, or being thoroughly ‘friend zoned’, the harder it is to reinitiate things but it’s often still worth trying.

Every time she doesn’t respond extend the period of time before you try to contact her again: a few days, a week, a month, six months . . .

 

No response?

Ping messages should feel low investment; so even if she doesn’t respond you can still have another bite of the cherry. That’s right: if you want you can give her some significant space and then try again. Though obviously you’re welcome to delete her number too.

If you keep increasing the amount of space, and keep your tone light hearted, you should end up on come across as ‘persistent’ rather than ‘pest’.

1. Privet VICKI, just been to a restaurant I think you’d love: they serve RUSSIAN/PAN ASIAN cuisine. Surely beats your favourite THAI? X

Choose a subject matter that she’s passionate about. i.e. If she’s a foodie talk about restaurants.

  1. So . . . still working hard, drinking at JAY BAR & surviving on PIZZA at MIDNIGHT? Or don’t I know you at all . . .

    People are always engaged when talking about themselves.

  2. *Poke* or does that only work on Facebook?

    Use humour with rhetorical questions to prompt a response.

  3. It’s MONDAY MORNING and ALICE is bored at her desk, she sees a text from a not so mysterious stranger and smiles x

    Imagine what she may be doing at the time she receives your text& how she’ll respond to it.

  4. I saw this *attach image* and thought of you

    Use multi-media picture of something that reminds you of them to re-engage their attention

  5. Hey Stranger, how was your SATURDAY NIGHT? If it didn’t involve JAEGAR BOMBS & bad dancing I won’t be impressed x

    Tease them about their lives to try to make them justify themselves.

  6. You know I only like girls who write witty messages back

    Use a risky qualification to suggest that she’s losing your approval.

  1. Just drifting out of contact feels unsatisfying—I want a brutal dumping text or a catch up coffee next week

    Show your confidence by being nonchalant about losing her.

  2. Hey you, isn’t it your birthday this month? Though I never saw you as much of a LEO . . . x

    It would be too much investment to contact her on the specific day . . .

  3. Happy British Sandwich Day (yes really) would be a shame not to celebrate . . .

    Use a random national holiday as an excuse to text

11. —This silence is me ignoring you—

Make out that you’re the one ignoring her.

12. Welcome to the Russian Roulette of Dating: what would happen if you replied?

Take a risk and make her question what would happen if . . .

13.Me. You. Date. Like Dr. Pepper—what’s the worst that could happen?

Use humour to make her doubt her fears about meeting you.

  1. I still think we should talk fashion, eat pizza and drink caipirinhas soon . .

    Suggest a date that you almost went on, again.

  2. Just found your moisturiser . . . was that you doing the ‘leave behind’?

    Reverse your roles so that she’s the one who’s desperate to see you again.

16. I’ve decided to chase . . .

Take a high risk by being so direct—but leave the door open to follow it up with a secondary text.

  1. Just walked down REGENT’S STREET—but no girl in a PINK coat today. Where is my favourite jacket today?

    Suggest something circumstantial reminded you of her.

  2. So . . . what are my chances of getting a text back? Do they increase with a compliment? If so, good morning gorgeous.

    Make fun of how she’s used to guys pursuing her.

  3. I just watched the BLUES BROTHERS for the first time & I now totally all of your bad jokes. RAW HYDE!

    Return to a topic she’s passionate about and create an in joke.

  1. AKON just came on the radio, and I’m sorry to say that I still think your taste in music sucks ;)

    Be reminded of her—then tease her about it.

  2. So how is MARIA in 2012? I hope just as witty as in 2011 . . . but maybe a little more spontaneous

    Send a challenging New Year’s message.

  3. 1. Good morning 2. Thank God it’s Friday 3. The sun is shining! You should be smiling by now ;)

    Add value to her day, and try to prompt an emotional response.

  4. I’m terribly late as usual, namely in getting back to you. Feel an apologetic text won’t cut it so get prepared for a lengthy phone call . . .

    Some girls hate phone calls so will reply to the text instead!

24. I’m going to go out on a limb and say it . . .

Try to make her curious enough to respond.

25. ? . . . ;)
(translate: how are you stranger?)

Use emoticons and pictures for a more unique ping message.

How to Turn Your Texts into Sex

To kick start this workshop I’m going to tell you three very simple things that ‘sexy’ isn’t to girls:

  • -  It isn’t porno
  • -  It isn’t funny
  • -  It doesn’t show too much investment

    So when you’re trying to escalate via text I want you to apply three more golden rules:

 

  1. Don’t use explicit language (that’s anything pornographic etc) unless you’re already hooking up regularly/ you know she likes ‘dirty talk’.
  2. Don’t appear embarrassed or awkward about sex (girls *hate* that) by talking about it overly indirectly i.e. referencing her boobs as ‘melons’ or anything that sounds like it could have come out of a Benny Hill sketch.
  3. Don’t try to text escalate before you’ve managed to meet up with her in a date context at least once. If you’ve got a number from a cold approach, chatted to the girl for five minutes, it is going to seem like way too much to start sexting. You may even wind up looking like a porn obsessed school boy. Remember to be non-needy and play it a little cooler. The only exception to this is if the relationship is long distance . . . in which case get the web cam out before you hit send on an overly provocative text.

So how do you go about making things sexy?

Well first of all—just like real life—there is a stage where being more sexual via text is the right thing to do.

I’d break down how to play it into three stages of hotness:

  • Pre-first date
  • Post first date
  • Post sex

     

 

 

Pre—first date

Whilst you can introduce the topic of sex smoothly, relatively early on in a ‘real life’ conversation: I think it’s risky to do so via text. If you’ve only met her once and become too sexual too quickly it comes across that you’re ‘only after one thing’: which even if you are, you don’t want to appear desperate for sex.

Instead try to inject flirtatious banter into the interaction by using teasing texts:

You’ll have to try harder than that . . .

By being direct when going for the date:

Let’s grab some tapas on Friday after work

By being ok to occasionally challenge her:

Not sure I do last minute changes of plan: so you’re going to have to meet me halfway as a peace offering

These are not overtly sexual: but it sets the right tone: that you’re in control, that you’re not needy and that you are ok to go after what you want. All of this will come in handy later!

 

Post first date

Again you don’t want to over shoot yourself here. Even if you ended up making out heavily on your first date, keep your cool. Sending a gushing, ‘it was great seeing you sexy girl’, kind of message post first date makes it sound like you were overly impressed by her.

Likewise, sometimes a girl may wonder if she’s rushed into things by making out with you: so come on too strong and you could scare her off.

So instead of talking about sex directly, I’d do three things that will turn the heat up and set you up to talk dirty after you’ve got it on in real life:

Make sure she’s compliant with you: this is where you lead and she follows. On a simple level this is setting up the dates: turn this up a notch with a ‘be early ;)’ or ‘wear heels’ kind of message though to create a more flirtatious tone.

Use sexual language out of context: you may not want to talk about sex overtly but use commanding and sexy language to add a hint of seduction to a normal exchange. Using words/ phrases like ‘bad’, ‘terrible’, ‘punish’, ‘hard’ all have a sexual vibe but can be used in a way that is indirect:

If you keep mentioning that I’m going to have to punish you.

So you’ve had a hard day? Tempted to make a rude joke over here . . . but not sure you’d appreciate it ;-)

Start using MMS: getting a girl to send you a naked picture— awesome! Get her into the habit of swapping photos early on by exchanging pictures of other things. It could be a visual clue of what your next date will entail (a cocktail for example) or be a funny thing you spotted that reminded you of her. Bonus points if you can get her to start getting into the habit of sending you MMS’s:

You: Check this out *photo* my day is definitely cooler than your day x

Her: Nope I’m having more fun than you *photo*

 

Post sex

You’ve hooked up – great! Now don’t seem weird by making sexual references straight away. Instead of making everything sexual (I always remember a girl complaining to me once about this, ‘he hasn’t had sex in the past much so now he’s after it like hot dinners’) pick your moments.

Go for an unexpected time of day: She’s sat at her desk, her boss is grumbling at her. You say:

I hope you’re wearing suspenders. Meet me after work . . .

Encourage sexy MMS swaps: You can either ask to see a picture of her (then tell her every picture that she sends that isn’t overtly sexy is ‘boring’) or you can relate it to an earlier sexy text:

I’m not sure I believe you. May require photographic evidence..

Use counter demands: If she wants you to do something for her; make sure that she does something for you. For instance if she’s tired and wants you to meet her closer to her home, tell her:

Sure—but I want some incentives . . . visual is preferred x

The idea behind all of this text escalation is the same though: it’s smooth. You don’t appear needy, you don’t appear like you’re only after one thing. Instead you play it cool, then turn the heat up in a way that makes sense in the context of both your current text exchange and your dating as a whole

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