Building Abundant Relationships:
A Short Guide to Fulfilling Relationships
Relationships with others are the key to abundance. Everything around you exists because people formed a relationship and brought it into being. Therefore, the relationships you form determine your success in life.
- Underpinning every relationship is the reciprocation principle, i.e doing something nice for someone means they are more likely to do something nice for you
- This does not have to be a big act on your behalf, it can simply be a small favour
- The back and forwards nature of this principle strengthens relationships
- Aristotel said there are four types of friendships;; those built on fun, those out of circumstance and those through goodness. This last one, based on helping people, is the most authentic and longest lasting.
The Four Connection Levers
These are the four keys that allow you to connect with people on your own terms and when you want. Few people are aware of these levers, so use them wisely.
The more time you spend with someone, the stronger the contact. For example, the longer the eye contact, the stronger the connection. However, there are several variances to be aware of.
- Time is not linear. Break up the time spent with someone into smaller chunks over a longer period to deepen the connection
- You connect with someone more when you are apart, not when you are together. The subconscious mind is given time to process the person
- Apply the rule “Little and Often” and break up meetings into smaller parts, for example breaking up one date into one morning and one afternoon
- Connection must be face to face or voice to voice – online does NOT count
- The effect is cumulative, so use opportunities to connect regularly to quickly feel like old friends rather than new acquaintances
There are two aspects to connecting through space;; Environmental space and proximity space. Learn to be aware of both and manipulate them in your relationship building.
- Using environmental space to your advantage means meeting someone in different environments
- This is powerful in varying the backdrops for the person’s mind to process you, and helps them to perceive you more as a friend
- Go to lots of mini environments with someone over time, as the same environment will form only a light level of connection
- The further apart the environments are geographically, the stronger the connection
- Proximity space involves your personal space, an area we usually only allow people we trust to enter
- It is not true that the longer you are next to someone in silence the more awkward it becomes to strike up a conversation
- Even without a word being said, you will subconsciously relax in each others’ presence
- Go and sit next to people in empty carriages and waiting rooms
- If someone comes over to stand in your personal space, use theopportunity to start a conversation
- Build your calibration of personal space by taking partnered dancing classes, such as Ballroom, Tango and Swing
Emotion is the life force of connection. Time and space provide the capacity for emotion to be shared.
- Share more emotions to form a stronger connection, as sharing only one or two emotions creates a much weaker connection
- If you want share an emotion with someone, then you must feel and display that emotion first. Be the person that decides what emotions will be felt
- If you are a beginner then focus on making people feel positive emotions, but if you are advanced then share negative emotions as well
- Negative emotions can then be turned round with persistence and tenacity
- Being fun, playful and silly in expressing yourself will help you more naturally share these emotions
- Consider your environment. Somewhere with a good vibe, like a club or a beach, can work in your favour. An area of negative energy, such as a dark and spooky forest, could work against you
Amusement parks provide a great mixture of emotions
Changing and manipulating the world around you is powerful way to form a connection with someone, as you create a lasting imprint of your time together.
- Build something from scratch, such as cooking a meal together or creating a project
- Sharing ideas is a way of creating matter on the metaphysical level, for example discussing how you would survive a zombie apocalypse
- Change the direction of somebody’s life by helping them with a challenge or having them help you overcome an obstacle
- These obstacles can be physical, mental and spiritual blocks
- Use phrases such as, “we’, “lets” and “us” to imply the connectionbetween you both
“I Know a Guy”
Connecting others is the gateway to expanding your access to social circles, and thus your opportunities in life. Connections are gratefully received when this will solve a person’s problem.
- Find out what hurdles are holding someone back from following their passion
- It does not matter if you cannot come up with a solution to their problem. The fact that you are investing time will leave them grateful and they will want to reciprocate when you are in need of help
- If you can connect two people who have never met in order to help them solve their own respective obstacles, then this will leave you off better as well
Everything written in the passed three posts are for you to use and charm your way through life, and to live a better, more genuine life while doing it. Feel free to employ other charming skills you notice others use that make you feel good. Put yourself in situations where you can use “Yes, and”, be persistent in your kindness and forgiving of others if they don’t appreciate it. As you improve, you will gain access to other people’s social circles. Keep practicing the art of connection to develop these skills, and live your life of abundance.