One of the biggest fears that the guys I coach have is getting a woman’s number. First off, NEVER ask her for her “digits”.
That is a terrible phrase reserved for use in movies and the Jersey Shore. So, in effect, this chapter is headed up with an example of what NOT to say.
Seriously, though, I can’t tell you how easy it is to get a woman’s number without making a big spectacle of it. In fact that’s one of the biggest points I will make: don’t make a big deal of it.
You’ve got your mojo now and it’s time to put it to work.
I am the leading authority on what not to do in this category, guys. I used to blow my chances with a woman because I simply couldn’t get her number without it throwing the mood and flow of the conversation off.
When you are engaged in a conversation with a woman and the two of you are getting along, there is no reason to interrupt that by making a big issue out of getting her number.
Like a lot of things you’ve learned, the only thing you need to keep in mind is to keep it casual. There is nothing to fear when getting her number.
I used to think there was some special trick or phrase to unlock this magical chest. There isn’t. You just need to do it and keep the conversation flowing.
Like a lot of things we’ve talked about, making a woman feel comfortable around you is one of the biggest ways to activate her attraction. There is nothing more to this than picking a nice moment in the conversation to ask and then keep talking.
Don’t linger on it, you’ll make it seem uncomfortable and strange. It’s just a simple thing, you ask for people’s numbers in all sorts of situations.
Keep this in mind. Don’t build it up like you’re about to ask her if she’ll take her top off.
Say you’re talking to her about her pets. You’re laughing about some personality quirk her cat has (and hopefully she doesn’t have 20 cats, that is usually not a good sign)
After you say something or laugh at something, just ask.
“Hey, I want to hear more about your cat’s adventures. Can I get your number? Does your cat text?”
See how easy that was? You never want her to think about anything simply past a yes or no.
The silly joke at the end is an example of a follow up to lighten the mood. You don’t even need to include something like that, but if the moment presents itself, go for it.
Once she gives you her number, continue the conversation. You can say something like “Great, I’ll get a hold of you soon.”
Beyond that though, just keep talking to her. Or if you’re about to leave, let her know you’ll be in touch.
The purpose of a conversation is not to get her number. The purpose of getting her number is to continue the conversation and see if she is fun to talk to or not. That’s it.
One of the biggest mistakes I would make is to make the whole conversation grind to a halt when I asked her for her number. I would stumble or be hesitant. It will make her think too much about it and hurt your chances.
“Well, maybe, could I get your number?”
“Um, do you have a phone?”
Those are devoid of mojo. Say it with confidence. And just ask. Often guys will complicate it by asking, “Could I give you a call sometime?”
While this phrase isn’t terrible, you’re already making things too complicated. You don’t need to ask her permission to call or text her. You just need to ask for her number. Any other question is answered simply by doing that.
Remember, one of the biggest factors with your new mindsets and mojo is not to worry about the end result. You are there to have fun and talk, and either she will give you her number or not.
If she doesn’t, it isn’t a big deal. You don’t have to feel humiliated or imagine her telling all her friends about it… that just isn’t reality.
When you worry too much about it, you are going to become less attractive in general. That will immediately make her feel uncomfortable and hesitant about giving it to you.
So just keep in mind: There isn’t some grand secret phrase or password to getting her number. She’s either going to say yes or no. And either way, the moment is over. Keeping it simple will let her feel comfortable about giving it to you.
Getting Her Number
I realized the mojo that texting can have when I met a woman a few years ago. We had met at a cookout and we started talking about our mutual love of biking. It was a simple conversation about biking trails and taking bike trips.
I told her we should bike ride sometime and asked for her number. It was simple. In the past I would’ve been thinking of getting her number after a few minutes, but I put that out of my head and genuinely enjoyed the conversation.
I figured I’d ask and I did. I didn’t hesitate or even think about it. I just acted on it as if I was asking her about the weather.
It worked like a charm and I went on to have some great dates with her.
Remember, the main thing to remember when you’re getting a woman’s number is to stay relaxed. Don’t make the conversation a big lead up to asking for her number.
You’ll get yourself worked up and wait for some obvious, perfect moment that never comes.
Make the conversation about talking and nothing more. When you feel like asking, do it without hesitation. Just slip it into the conversation and let her take it from there.
And if she doesn’t go for it, no big deal. She isn’t going to think you’re a creep or a loser.
When you ask in such a casual way it doesn’t give off any weird vibes. You can continue the conversation and pleasantly end it.
Since you’re using your mojo and new mindsets, you’ll find that women will be giving their numbers to you more than you’ve ever experienced.
When you have her number and are going to text her, always keep in mind you’re activating chemical reactions to unlock her attraction the first time your name shows up on her phone.
Don’t waste that opportunity by sending a simple hello. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just text something that relates to the conversation you had when you met her.
There is No Winning or Losing
A fatal mistake many guys fall into is thinking that if they don’t get her number they have “lost.” They worry and worry about whether they are going to succeed or “fail.”
You’re not entering a competition when you talk to a woman. There isn’t any contest and you can’t either win or lose. These types of feelings drain your mojo more than if you had three eyes. Once again you’re forming an agenda.
You cannot control the way she is going to react. When you focus and obsess over how she is going to react you are blocking all of your mojo. That natural attraction that you could have is neutralized. This even gets transmitted through a text. Women are that intuitive.
Fixating on how she is going to react is going to destroy what could be some serious attraction.
You have to relax and realize that no matter the outcome you will get something out of it. Guys who are naturals with women look at everything as a learning experience. Do the same and you will see how much better your love life becomes.
Just remember that when you think a certain way and appear a certain way, you have a head start that puts you in the bracket of 1% of men who know this stuff.
It seems simple, right? That’s the best part. It is simple when you actually know what to do. Most men just don’t know what to do