Gaming without “traditional game” will require manipulation of social proof. Being one of the host’s VIPs will definitely help you out.
Becoming the VIP everyone wants to talk to.
This is a two step process. If it’s not your party, then you are going to have to do a little more work. Step one is to get really friendly with the host or at the very least someone who will introduce you to other people at the party. You want to connect with as many people in the party as possible – guys and girls. This will give you leverage over other casual guests and will give you an “in” with the regulars of the social group.
Getting in good with any host is really quite easy once you identify who the host is. If you’re going to a busy party, you can find out easily by just asking who lives here repeatedly and loudly. Then when you get someone to reply go straight up and introduce yourself. Being nice goes a long way and complimenting them on their great party will score you instant points.
Everyone responds to value, so you can do a few things. Introduce them to all the girls you brought and if the host is a guy he will bend over backward to help you out if he thinks you are a connection for girls. If you don’t have that option yet and you’re still in the process of building your social circle, then go the connection route.
You can praise their party and connect with them about how you have parties too. Just briefly talk about some of the troubles of throwing a party or a BBQ to pace what’s going on because if you are a host, then you have tons of things to do.
After connecting briefly invite them to your next party. Come from the frame that you know being a host is hard, but despite it all they are doing a great job. Demonstrate that you know what he is going through and complement them on it. Then offer value by talking about your parties and inviting them. This makes them think that they are doing things right even though hosting is a lot of work it’s worth it because now they just met someone like them that does the same thing and maybe next week they can come to your party.
You can take it a step further by asking him if there is anything you can do for him and help him out if he needs it. Common courtesy and showing empathy goes a long way and before you know it he will be introducing you to everyone and sharing his private stash of good liquor with you. Think of just applying connection rapport with the host and offering him value through having you as a connection. Simple things like helping him remove a drunken guy or helping the host keep someone from coming into the party that’s not wanted goes a really long way.
Now here comes part two to becoming a VIP. It is time to make everyone want you. This is all about exposure. This is accomplished creating an effect where it appears that you know everyone. It’s all about getting yourself out there to as many people as possible. Talk to everyone. No game. Instead use pure easy simple small talk. Ask simple questions. Give compliments. Ask people how their nights are going or if they are having a good time. Be nice and social without worrying about any game. Instead you should just focus on saying hi to everyone.
The more people you talk to, the more people who will start to look at you as you walk around. Soon it will start to spiral and everyone will think that you know everyone even if you don’t. This creates a powerful effect where you are perceived as the most connected guy in the room.
You can amp this effect up using pictures!!! There is a huge difference between just talking to everyone and talking while taking tons of pictures. If you take pictures the camera flashes and everyone else in the room looks over for a
second. They see you talking to girls smiling and being the center of attention. The more you do this, the more everyone sees you with everyone else smiling and then within minutes everyone thinks you are this amazing person that everyone, but them knows. Then girls will start to approach you and the feeding frenzy commences.
Now… I can imagine some guys reading this (especially guys who have read a ton of “pick-up material”) saying that there is no way something this simple could have a powerful effect on women.
For that reason, I am going to break down several reasons why this entirely makes sense and is probably the best way to “game” at parties.
1. Contrast: Most guys at parties nervously cling to their tight little social circle. They hold their drink tightly in front of them, they are intimidated by the other guys and girls who they don’t know and most of the guys at big parties don’t even know the hosts well – they’re just there to pay the cover. By connecting with the guests and the hosts at all, you will totally stand out form all the other guys.
2. Group acceptance: OK, think in terms of caveman days. In the days where getting killed was a very real danger on an everyday basis, women knew that being with the guy who could best protect them was their best choice. But protection can take on many faces – one of the faces of protection is how well-accepted, valued and connected a man is.
Think about it – being with someone who is highly valued, accepted or popular means that this guy is surrounded by others who will protect him and his interest. Not only that, but if the group accepts you it must mean that you have some redeeming qualities and you’re not a “bad” person to know. Having connections and connecting well with people speaks to this very real part of a woman’s attraction “programming”.
3. Glamour does not equal effective. “Pick-up” material has actually gotten to a point where guys believe that if it doesn’t sound elaborate or flashy, it must not work well. The truth is that this is what naturals do. Or, put better, this is what successful normal guys do. Success is success and I would much rather enjoy being a normal guy having success than having to throw on a clown suit and perform for people.
4. In closed social circles, women lower their guard and want to speak to the guys who are seen socializing. The average guy at a party is invisible and virtually worthless to women because of the nervous invisible cage he operates inside of. So when you demonstrate that you are an interesting guy (by socializing), there is no guard against you… you are who the women are there to meet! Women put their guard up only to the men they do not want.
5. The worst that can happen is nothing happens. Think about it – you’re in an environment. People like you because you’re demonstrating that you understand, respect and enjoy the other guests. You will radiate a positive energy and you will be forging connections. Chances are, you will get phone numbers from women who are interested and from guys who want to party with you.
Even if you don’t grab a boatload of phone numbers or pull a girl, you didn’t blow yourself out of the water. You didn’t embarrass yourself or do anything that could have been conceived as weird or creepy or intimidating. And in all likelihood, you will see some of these other people again and they’ll be happy to see you – it might even work to your benefit that you connected with them sometime in the future. You never know who could turn out to be an amazing connection for women or just a really cool guy in general.
6. You’re building your social circle. I think just about all the old pick-up material out there speaks to the audience as if they are a loner. And if they’re not a loner, then they’re out with their wingman or wingmen.
For someone’s life to actually be only revolving purely on pick-up it is at best weird and at worst I believe it to be extremely unhealthy, psychologically and socially. In many ways, it’s not much different than a bunch of people who look to score drugs for their next high – their bond is based on an unnatural addiction, their habits are based around getting some kind of high and their focus and time is totally constricted to a source of worth and self-esteem outside themselves.
This is a screwed up mentality in grained in “classical community theory” and one of the fundamental reasons I would never want to be called a “pick- up artist”. What we’re suggesting is really a clearly laid path to build real, normal relationships with other people. Everyone gains, everyone benefits. Nobody is tricked – you’re actually forming connections and a social circle and using it as an avenue to succeed with women. Just connect with them and invite them to party with you.
7. You’re not starting from “ground zero”. Another common idea in the world of “pick-up” is how you present yourself. Some of the most popular authors on the subject of “pick-up” advocate having a type of elevator-pitch to quickly convey to a woman your “sexual worth”.
This assumes a few things. It assumes that without you giving the elevator- pitch, the woman would not see any “sexual worth” or value in you. When you are in a closed-social environment and people are responding positively to you, that is all of the value that women need to see in order for them to want to know you.
The bottom line here is that rather than only working on ways to try and convey value to women through words, why not take actions to have that sort of value in your life. You will be building personal equity with every connection you make and it shows.