There are some simple steps you can take to create instant attraction without even opening your mouth. Even more importantly, there are a few things you MUST do to avoid killing any attraction before you even start.
Even with your newly discovered mojo, there are mistakes that many guys make without even realizing it. These are easy rules to follow so you don’t ruin your chances with a woman before you even get to know her better.
Lots of guys that even have access to their mojo make these simple mistakes and are confused when women instantly reject them. Yes, this is going to cover deal-breaking habits that you might think sound obvious. Just know the good stuff will come, but before you get to the secrets and ultra- effective tricks you need to know the basics.
Mojo is still the most important factor, but as we talked about, you have to follow every one of these steps to fully harness your mojo so you can start having beautiful women in your life.
One of the simplest, but most powerful things you will be glad you did is to maximize your “outer game.” First, focusing on what you can control instead of dwelling on what you can’t is how naturals with women think. If you follow this logic, you will be better off than if you try to change things you can’t control.
This is an area where you will want to focus on your look and what you can do to improve, but never dwell on what you can’t change.
Don’t worry if some of these things seem basic to you, because there will be secrets and hints in this chapter that I guarantee you’ve never thought about before.
You have to realize this is not just stuff you should do if you feel “not good looking.” This is not about being good looking or bad looking. The purpose is to be someone who shows he has value by investing in himself, so she can see that you value yourself enough to put time into your appearance.
I am NOT saying to go out of your way and become “metrosexual,” since this can be as much of a turn off to women as being against anything that has to do with hygiene and grooming. In the end, women are most attracted to what a guy ‘does’ with what he’s got.
She is not looking for you to be some naturally handsome statute of perfection with chiseled abs and a perfect bone structure. This is not what turns her on and is definitely not what makes her want to be with you and only you.
This is about being able to find your own style or way of being that suits you and makes you feel comfortable.
This is going to be stuff you want to take care of ASAP because if you don’t she will be repulsed. Even Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt would fail every time if they didn’t follow these guidelines.
Your Outer Aura
Have you ever heard about someone who has a great “aura” or a bad “aura?” It’s a concept that many people don’t understand. Now, I’m not some new age guy, but this is a way to explain this overall concept and put it in terms that t make sense.
Your “outer aura” is something I call the overall appearance you give off, including how you smell, dress, walk, talk and so on. This is one that anyone is going to notice, especially if it’s bad.
Did you ever see Charlie Brown cartoons or comic strips? Chances are you have. He had a friend called Pigpen. Remember that guy? Yep. He was the one who walked around with a cloud of dust and dirt swirling around him at all times.
You can learn a lot from Pigpen.
I had a good friend back in high school. Let’s call him Nate. Nate was a traditionally handsome dude. He was funny and friendly. People liked him. He was smart, had a badass car when everyone else was driving their mom’s minivan, and yet Nate wasn’t able to get a woman to stick around for more than 5 minutes. Why?
The reason is because he was making some basic yet FATAL mistakes that absolutely kill attraction for women.
I never quite realized what his problem was. He was my buddy. I’d known him for years, so I didn’t spend much time thinking about his strengths and weaknesses. Lucky for me, though, I learned from the mistakes he was making because of my good friend Kate.
After seeing Nate strike out with yet another woman in record time, I asked Kate what the hell was going on. I just couldn’t understand it. He seemed to have everything, but some mysterious force seemed to be pushing women away from him in every manner.
Kate cleared up the mystery. Nate was Pigpen, in every way possible.
Let me present you with a simple equation.
Mojo + bad breath = Women won’t even let you finish saying hello before they run screaming to find fresh air.
The next time I saw Nate, I kept what Kate said in mind. And, wow, was she right. WOW. The second he opened his mouth to say, “Hello,” a hot desert wind flowed from his mouth. It made me think of what a petrified mummy must smell like after being exhumed from a coffin after thousands of years. I wanted to physically push him away, and hide from him until the end of time. I’m not exaggerating.
I realized that was exactly what women were thinking. It wasn’t anything about him except his death breath. All of his good qualities were being completely blocked out by his violating mouth- scent.
Lucky for all of us, this is one of the easiest things to prevent, but it is absolutely essential. This is a deal-breaker for women.
Your Dentist is Right
Brushing your teeth daily will completely eliminate this attraction- killer. You should brush your teeth at least twice a day. Brush them thoroughly for a few minutes each time. And just like your dentist says, don’t forget to floss.
Brush your tongue as part of this ritual every time. Lots of bacteria set up camp on your tongue, so kick them out. Use mouthwash after you brush and floss.
Another time to brush is anytime you’re going to be meeting people or will have the potential to talk to a woman. Just a quick once over before you leave is an absolute must. It also helps to carry mints or breath spray with you if you’re going to be out and about. It will keep that minty fresh feeling and scent strong.
Here’s your new equation.
Mojo + great breath = a woman that wants to keep talking to you
Hit The Shower
Another thing my friend Nate and Pigpen had in common was that dust cloud surrounding them. Nate was never much for deodorant or showers. This is something I had always noticed, but at that age hadn’t realized how much this was killing his attraction.
Showering is mandatory. Just like brushing your teeth, this should become a daily ritual without exception. Jump into that shower every morning and start the day fresh and clean.
You don’t have to have a top of the line body wash that costs $30 a bottle. You just need to have something that smells good and fresh. Always shower before you go out for the night. Even if you had your morning shower (which you are never going to miss again, right?), always shower before you go out. It can be a quick once over with soap, but it is absolutely essential.
And don’t forget deodorant. My friend Nate often smelled like he was growing an onion patch under his shirt. You could almost taste his body odor. And that is horrifying for anyone to deal with, even a couple of high school dudes. So imagine what that was doing to the women he was around.
Some guys do these things, but they make one simple little mistake that they think is helping, but is actually turning women off. I’m talking about cologne.
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a little cologne, but it has to be a really small amount. Women aren’t into cologne the way we’ve been lead to think. And women don’t want a heavy, overpowering scent. Go for something fresh and light, just a touch… nothing more.
You should already smell great because you’re showering and using deodorant and brushing.
I surveyed thousands of women and found that they didn’t really have much thought on cologne. It just doesn’t matter much. The one thing they had an opinion on was when guys layered it on too strong, or if the scent was something that bothered them.
Ending thought on cologne: there’s nothing wrong with putting a little dash of it on, but overall it just doesn’t matter much.
Oh, and NEVER wear cologne to cover up any bad scent you might be emanating. Big no-no.
So let’s get back to Nate. This poor guy seemed to have an invisible cloud swirling around him that instantly repelled women, but he started following these simple steps, and something amazing happened.
He started brushing his teeth a couple times a day. He brushed his tongue, he flossed, he brought breath mints with him everywhere. The next time I saw him talk to a woman, it was like magic. He had her giggling and leaning in closer. She was even blushing a little bit. He had broken down that simple barrier.
Like I said, he had a great personality, and women even liked him from afar, but that death breath was killing the attraction swiftly and completely.
Now he was brushing his teeth, showering and wearing deodorant and things had completely changed for him. He was no longer Pigpen.
He was back to being Nate, a guy with a lot of great qualities and personality that women were actually able to enjoy because they weren’t getting punched in the nose with his sarcophagus-breat and onion patch body odor. His outer aura had been cleared and was no longer getting in the way of his mojo.
Your Invincible Avatar
Now that we’ve eliminated one of the biggest attraction-killers out there, I want to tell you how to get women to notice you the second you walk into the room.
I never had the basic issues that Nate had with his overall hygiene. I always brushed and showered, but I still felt like women weren’t really noticing me. Lucky for me, my good friend Kate was there to bail me out.
Her observation was simple: I didn’t really have any style. She didn’t mean that I needed to be on the cutting edge of fashion. I just didn’t put any effort into the way I looked, and that had an enormous effect on how I was coming across to women.
There were a couple steps I was able to take to instantly stand out to women and create attraction before I even walked up to them. It got them to notice me before I did anything. It was like getting a head start in a race. I was already at an advantage.
Get a Little Style Going
Putting a little effort into how you dress will give a woman something to be attracted to instantly. This will make you feel fresh and more confident and comfortable, adding some serious fuel to your mojo.
You will also stand out from other guys, because most dudes out there do not realize how important and easy it is to improve your style. They assume it is expensive and mysterious.
The great news is that getting a good look going doesn’t take an incredible sense of fashion or an expensive closet. You just have to follow a few simple rules to improve your outer image and get her lusting for you.
You’ll notice that women will even start approaching you, because your personal sense of style communicates confidence and comfort, things that you already know are absolutely essential in getting a woman interested in you.
One basic thing to avoid is wearing dirty clothes. I know it might sound basic, but many of us guys don’t realize that women notice things like that. Never, ever wear stained or wrinkled clothing.
Anytime you’re talking to a woman, you should be wearing clothes that are clean and haven’t been worn since the last time they were washed. Wearing dirty or wrinkled clothing will turn off a woman in the same way if you have the death breath we already talked about.
Putting some effort into how you dress will help establish your overall look and presence. It will add to your overall essence and give women even more to be attracted to.
This is one of the few times I will tell you to look at movies for inspiration. You also want to look at a celebrity who can be your avatar.
Look at a celebrity that has some similar attributes to you. I’m talking about height, weight, skin tone, hair color. It doesn’t have anything to do with how your faces compare, just all of the other details that make him similar to you.
Celebrities have it great. They have money and management that take care of all these things for them. They deal with designers and fashion experts whenever they step out into the public eye. The great thing is that you can get some incredible free fashion advice from watching them.
So whether you resemble Brad Pitt or Philip Seymour Hoffman, there is something you can do to use their look to your advantage. Picking this guy makes him your avatar, an image that you strive to resemble.
Pay attention to the way they dress. Again, they are being dressed by experts every time they step in front of cameras. What colors do they wear? What makes them look really great?
It could be as simple as the color of the dress shirt they are wearing and the shade of blue jeans or dress pants they wear. You could do an Internet search for your avatar and take note of five or ten images of him. Look at the colors and styles that he commonly wears.
You don’t have to buy the $200 jeans and $500 shirt and sport coat that he is wearing. Just take note of the general style and colors he wears and rip them off. You will be shocked at how confident you feel when you copy off of him a little bit. And believe me, women will start noticing instantly.
Women are very aware of fashion and what works for them. They also recognize the styles they see on T.V. and in movies. When you find a look that compliments your style and personality, women will be drawn to it beyond their control.
Are you a more conservative type that looks best in a businessman type look? Buy some extra dress slacks and button up shirts. Get a sport coat or two. Remember, they don’t have to be expensive. They just need to look good on you.
Some of the best clothing I ever got was the cheapest as well. It’s not about the price tag or the brand name; it’s about how it fits and looks on you.
Are you a good old southern boy with a flair for cowboy boots and big belts? Great! Stock up on those items… Are you a bad boy who feels best in a leather jacket, jeans and a white shirt? Go for it.
Even if this is NOT how you are, feel free to borrow from the archetype of what Hollywood shows women to be the attractive male. Think about it… even if she rejects you, it’s not “you,” it’s this character you are borrowing from.
Just like everything that concerns your mojo, the point is to find the style that makes you feel comfortable and happy with yourself. It isn’t about worrying about what she is going to think about your personal style.
It’s about finding the style that works for you, because that is what is going to create attraction for her.
When you find the style that fits your personality and looks, you will instantly feel more comfortable and women will start seeing and feeling your mojo the moment they see you.
Don’t Worry If You Aren’t A Fashion Expert
One of my biggest concerns when I realized I needed to improve my style was that I had NO IDEA where to start. Even after looking at celebrities and copying them, I still felt like I could use a little help.
Ask a woman! This could be as simple as consulting a female friend or family member who has a sense of style. The best way is to ask a sales lady at a clothing store. They love being asked for their opinions. Women get a tremendous sense of satisfaction from making something (or someone) look better.
Most guys have NEVER done this and they are totally missing out on their potential to attract women just by simply adjusting a few things with their clothing choices. You’re trying to be attractive to a woman, right? Then, you should go to women to find out what works with your style and what doesn’t.
Don’t be afraid to get some opinions from females. If you are uncomfortable, think of it like this: what’s the worst that can happen?
She could say, “No.”
You aren’t asking her out on a date or even saying you’re interested in her. The purpose is simply to go and find some outfit choices that look good to a woman. This doesn’t have to be something stressful. In fact, if it’s stressful, you are in a situation that shouldn’t continue.
The bottom line is, if you want to go up to a woman or you see someone who you think could help choose an outfit or whatever it happens to be, do it. If not, don’t spend another second contemplating it. Either you will or you won’t.
Mojo-Worthy Body language
We are covering many great things that will optimize your attraction by simply being visible to a woman.
There is one secret that almost every guy on earth isn’t aware of that can completely kill a woman’s attraction from the start.
Body language can be one of the greatest communicators of mojo you can possibly have. Bad body language, however, goes into the same category as smelling like a flooded basement. It is immediately visible to a woman and will completely ruin your chances of getting anywhere with her.
There are some great ways to keep from getting disqualified before you get a chance to use your mojo.
First of all, you need to understand the way attraction works with women. There are many facets to a woman’s mind and what creates attraction for them.
One of the biggest factors is wired into her brain in a way that has existed since cavemen were walking around throwing rocks at wooly mammoths.
Women like to feel protected. They inherently like to feel that they are in the presence of a man who can protect them and take care of any problems or threats that may arise.
Since the beginning of time, women have filled the role of giving birth and taking care of their babies. Back in the day, things were dangerous on different levels. There were animals and other groups of people that potentially posed a threat to the woman and her baby.
They were completely biologically drawn to a man that could protect them from all those scary threats. There is a piece of that which has not faded with time.
Now don’t worry, you don’t need to remember a laundry list of body language signs that you have to constantly obsess over.
In the most fundamental sense, women determine whether or not a man can protect them simply based on observing how comfortable and present he is (notice how closely that parallels some of the concepts I mentioned that make up your mojo).
Imagine this: A woman sees two guys. One of the guys is nervous, fidgeting and it seems like he’s worrying and obsessing over things in his mind. The other guy is relaxed, aware of his surrounds and happy.
The woman will perceive the first guy as incapable of being able to protect her and she will perceive the second guy as capable of protecting her.
It’s all biologically-programmed stuff, but to her it just feels like if a life-threatening situation presented itself, the first guy wouldn’t survive and the second guy would. After all, the first guy wasn’t even OK when nothing bad was happening and the second guy just seemed at ease with life, which she interprets as confidence that he can defend himself and protect her in a worst case scenario.
So just remember: the most crucial rule of body language is to make sure you feel loose, happy, relaxed, comfortable, at ease, etc. Your mood is the most important aspect of your attractiveness; make it your highest priority.
Let’s talk about some specifics…
Great Body Language is Easier than You Think
Women want to feel that sense of security, and the great thing is that it doesn’t have anything to do with height or how much you can bench press. It is about how you carry yourself, your body language.
It is incredibly easy to communicate amazing, confident body language. This is incredibly important, because not having great body language will turn her off and make you come across as insecure and weak. In other words, it will drain your mojo and make you much less attractive.
One of the first things you need to do is stand tall. This isn’t about height. It’s about not being slouched over like a mad scientist’s assistant. Being slouched and having bad posture makes it look like you’re afraid of something or hiding from something.
That instantly creates a void in the confidence and mojo you exude, even if you have a lot of mojo. She won’t be able to see it, because you having terrible posture will cover it up.
Another huge factor in communicating great body language is eye contact. It should become a natural part of how you act around her. Never ever let your eyes dart around the room, or take quick glances at her before staring at the ground. Take a look at someone that does that. It makes everyone uncomfortable, regardless of the situation.
Don’t stare her down, but don’t be afraid to lock eyes with her. If you stare her down, you come off creepy. Creepy is a label you never want to have, because a woman will automatically close the door on anything more with you if she feels you are creepy. Another important point to note about your eyes is to never nervously let your eyes dart around the room.
What are you afraid of? Do you think a SWAT team is about to bust into the room and take you down? Or a stealthy ninja assassin is about to arrive? Of course not… So don’t communicate that with the way you use your eyes. You’re there to see her and talk to her, so don’t focus your eyes on other pointless things in the room.
You also need to loosen up and smile. Trust me, guys… so many of us don’t realize how little we smile. It is a huge turn-off to women to be around a guy who can’t loosen up and keep his facial expression light and relaxed. It will make him seem tense, unhappy and lead to killing off his mojo.
A simple way to do this is to think about funny things in your head. Don’t start telling her jokes or anything, just think of a really funny movie or situation you experienced. It is another common theme with your mojo.
Thinking of something funny will loosen you up. Your facial expression will lighten up and you’ll feel relaxed and confident and your mouth will naturally relax and smile.
Women love a man who comes across confident and comfortable.
Keeping your posture in check will help you to carry yourself in a powerful way that has nothing to do with your actual height or strength. No more letting your eyes dart around the room or seem hazy and unfocused. You’ll start exuding and strength and mojo.
And remember to always smile. Smiling communicates the very essence of mojo and it is of the easiest things to do that most guys are completely unaware of.
The Result of Changing Your Body Language is Almost Too Good to Be True
I have coached many guys through their “reinvention”. That’s part of what I do as a coach. Let me tell you about a particular guy I helped, who, on the surface, would have seemed like he wouldn’t need anyone’s help.
He had come to me with some serious issues. Like many confused guys, he had a lot going for him. He even knew he had something going on, but whenever he was in a position to meet or approach women, things went wrong. He wasn’t even afraid to approach a woman, but when he did it just simply never went well.
Right off the bat I realized he wasn’t harboring bad breath that could stop a dinosaur dead in its tracks. He was clean, wore clothes that flattered him, and had a good personality. It only took about five minutes our first night out to realize what the problem was.
He had all the worst symptoms of bad body language. He would walk quickly and in a nervous fashion, his eyes would dart around to everything but the woman’s eyes and he was as slouched over as Quasimodo.
I got the feeling that when women saw him coming they instantly thought they were about to be abducted by Jack the Ripper. He put off terrible energy and incredible discomfort by ignoring these body language laws.
I took him aside after his second rejection of the night and explained to him exactly what he was doing wrong. He was confused at first. He was almost offended and defiant. As I’ve said, most guys simply don’t realize how their body language is coming across. I told him that if he could see himself then he would instantly realize.
After explaining how women are instinctually drawn to men who give off the essence of confidence and strength, he began to open up to my advice a little more. I told him to go home and practice. Skype with a friend, notice how at ease he looks, how he smiles and focuses on the screen.
Talk into the mirror, I told him. It seems silly at first, but notice how often you frown or have little to no expression. Smile more when you’re talking. Don’t force it. Just simply allow it to be a natural expression that is part of your speaking habits. It takes just a few minutes in front of a mirror a day and pretty soon your body will start automatically doing it.
A few weeks later we tried again. The success he had that night was almost hard to believe. He walked tall and comfortably. His eyes focused on the woman and when he did look away it was sudden or frantic. He was exuding confidence and strength.
Women started reacting instantly. The man who couldn’t get one woman interested got five phone numbers that night. And the women he was connecting with were hot as hell.
A few weeks later when I checked in with him I couldn’t believe what I saw. We went out and he was leading the charge. You would’ve thought he was coaching me! He stood tall and strong and had a great time talking it up with several beautiful women. He even said that his coworkers had noticed a change in him. They couldn’t quite put their finger on it, but they noticed a positive change.
That’s the magic of great body language. It’s something that is so biologically embedded within attraction that it acts like a secret weapon that draws women in for reasons they barely understand.
He made the changes and his love life instantly improved.
Your New Image
Taking the time to re-invent and refine your clothing style along with being aware of and improving your body language will make you a force of nature with women. You will feel fresh and new with the improved look to go with your blossoming mojo.
This is exactly what you need to start creating a new, mojo-filled man that will immediately begin to have entirely new, comfortable and even enjoyable experiences with women that you actually want to meet and connect with.
You are well on your way to becoming a master of mojo and a natural with beautiful women.
There are some really important things we need to cover before I get into all the great tricks and methods you are going to use when you actually approach a woman with this new knowledge and skill.
Your inner game is starting to become an incredible force. In the next chapter I’m going to tell you how to get rid of your agenda so you can immediately stop having nervous or stressful nights out when you are going to meet women.
You will emerge with an entirely new mindset that is going to make meeting women the most fun and fulfilling thing you have ever done.