How often are women REALLY approached?

It is often assumed that women are constantly getting approached by men. To the contrary, one of women’s biggest complaints is that men don’t approach them (especially attractive men). This is of course because the vast majority of men, including average guys of decent attractiveness, have too much approach anxiety to actually talk to women. They often rely on alcohol to get the courage to approach. And these approaches are often in social circle situations (work, school, a friend’s birthday party) where their odds of success are much greater, and where the men feel more comfortable talking to people. From the few approaches a typical man does under these conditions, he will get most or all of his girlfriends, one of which will eventually become his wife.

Intimidating and inviting beauty

What about the really beautiful women (those that would rank 8, 9 or 10 on most men’s “scales”)? Are they approached more often? It is tempting to think that the more attractive a woman is, the more she will be approached by men. To some degree this is true, but in many cases it’s not.

We can identify two basic types of beautiful women: those that are intimidating and who seem unapproachable, and those that are unintimidating and who seem welcoming. A girl in one situation, dressed in a certain way, in a good mood and a slight smile on her face, will be the eminently approachable “girl next door.” The exact same girl, in a different context, with more daring makeup, with her bitchy energy in full force, suddenly becomes the intimidating man eater.

Even aside from clothing and makeup choices, and apart from the situational context, some women simply have a “friendlier face” than others, depending on their bone structure and the shape of their eyebrows.

Two women can have the same overall attractiveness level, but one might be intimidating-looking, through no fault of her own, and another looks friendly and approachable. I personally have known plenty of beautiful women, and their experiences with being approached by men are all over the map. Some are approached and chatted up constantly by all sorts of men. And others are rarely, if ever, approached by anybody, including men with very high confidence. Added up over several years, one of them will have been approached by potentially thousands of men, while the other, only a few dozen.

Who is approaching her?

Aside from her overall appearance and how she invites or intimidates men, a woman may not be approached by the kinds of men she wants to date. It is a mistake to think that all attractive women, or even most of them, are getting what they want in the dating game. She may want more casual relationships, independence and freedom, but the men she goes out with always want to lock her down. Or she may want a serious relationship and companionship, but the men she dates just want to sleep with her and treat her as a trophy to show off to their friends.

Or she may have a hectic work schedule that prevents her from meeting good men or spending any real time dating. This can apply to many different kinds of women, not just those working in high-powered careers, but also women in entertainment and music, models or others who might have very difficult or unusual schedules. I’ve known plenty of models who, while enjoying their job, nevertheless were turned off by much of the culture or the social scene in that industry.

There are countless possible reasons why a beautiful woman might not be satisfied in her dating or love life.

The male factor (your “competition”)

The last thing to remember is that different women are attractive to different men. Aside from the absolute pinnacle of hotness (which is a very small percentage of all females), the vast majority of women will be viewed differently by different members of the male population. Each man has unique preferences as far as body type, face, hair color, hair texture (straight, curly, wavy) and skin color/ race. And every man has a different feeling on tattoos, piercings, glasses, makeup, hairstyles, clothing choices, and other criteria (whether they have a specific opinion on them or not, they are probably drawn to one type of girl or the other). So a woman who is really hot to one man may be invisible to another.

It also depends on where that man is at a given moment in his life. A guy might not introduce his parents to a girlfriend with blue hair and tattoos up her arms, but for a one night stand or to live out some fantasy, she might be perfect.

For all these reasons, we can safely assume that there are plenty of women out there for each man, that each man would be physically attracted to, assuming he can put in the work to become attractive himself. There is no need to worry that the women who are attractive to you are being saturated with approaches from irresistible Casanovas.

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