Approach Anxiety – What should you do?

“Look at that girl over there, she is so hot!” “Ok man, go and talk to her” “mmm, maybe next time”. This is a short story most of us go through every day. You see this girl you like but then you get afraid of approaching her. This is a term that we can call ‘approach anxiety’. It is not deadly, but it is not good for a man to have. There are a lot of girls you could have known and who know, maybe you missed your perfect girl because of your ‘approach anxiety.’

The problem is that you won’t wake up one day to find yourself talking to all the girls in the world confidently; there is not even a shortcut to achieve that. It is a result of bad experiences, fears, lack of confidence, or even beliefs. You have got to face yourself and work on these steps to overcome this problem and become the person you dream of.

First: Rule of probability

Let’s say girls have no reasons to like you. We can translate it that there is a 10% chance for a girl to like you when you approach her. Then, if you talk to 10 different girls in a day, one girl will respond positively. Make it your own practice. Talk to ten girls every day. Start with the easy ones; they will boost your confidence: shop assistants, girls in local transportation, colleagues, and friends of friends.

Even if you are not interested in these girls, it will keep your confidence levels high and ready for the moment you approach a girl you like. In summary, a guy talking to girls a day is not as confident as one talking to 20.

Second: Have a partner

Surround yourself with a couple of friends having the same target as you do. Compete with them how many girls you do approach in one single party. Make bets for a girl you like. Make sure that the bet be of value for you, a sum of money, something to do, or even losing your word among them. The important thing is that you should always be motivated to approach girls while you are with those friends.

Third: Boost your confidence:

Work on your confidence. In the end, this is the main issue. If it goes well, everything will be fine. Always remember that confidence is not something you take for granted. It needs hard work and patience but in the end you will get it.

Fourth: Hypnosis:

Silly as it seems but surprisingly, it actually it works with more people than you can imagine! Hypnosis is not for “crazy” people, it is for people who can be directed subconsciously and are open to change. This will lead to a very positive effect. The good thing too is that you shouldn’t go to a specialist; you can just try these hints:

  • Get hypnosis recordings online. You can find a lot of useful resources online, youtube for example. Listen to these recordings every night and you will notice the change yourself.
  • Make your own recordings. Get your cellphone or recording device and record positive messages with your own voice for 3 minutes. It may seem a weird thing to do but never mind. Listen to these messages every day. It definitely will make some change.
  • Write your main goal “approaching girls easily” on a piece of paper and hang it in your room. It will be best if you locate it where you can see it as soon as you open your eyes in the morning. It will be your motivation for the whole day.
  • Repeat these positive messages everywhere around you. Not just in your room, on the fridge, by the restroom door, anywhere your eyes can fall. It will step by step reach your heart until one day it will be your lifestyle.


Fifth: Be serious in change:

Exert real effort. Be strict and notice the change by yourself. Observe the best technique that works for you and then follow it.

Here is a sample technique that worked with many ones when in party:

  1. Approach 3 groups of girls and talk to them.
  2. Go on and talk to the girls you like.

Find similar techniques.


Sixth: Use an anchor:

This is a technique stated in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) in which you link your emotion with a physical body motion. What does that mean? Sometimes you feel confidence boost and this is what you need to approach a girl. So whenever you feel this confidence boost, stick your thumb and fore finger together. Do this for some time. In the end, when you are about to approach a girl stick your fingers and you will feel the confidence boost automatically.


These are the steps that if you follow, change is guaranteed. All you have to do now is work on yourself according to these steps and watch your transformation. After that, get to know as many girls as you like or go and approach your dream girl, she is waiting for you!

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