It all starts with you. If you are in a situation where you are trying to accomplish something, you need to make sure you are talking to yourself in an appropriate manner. For example, if I am approaching any situation and I think to myself, I can’t do this, I’m not good enough, I’m not up to the job, I’m not what I need to be. What is that going to do? That’s going to send a signal in sort of a loop to my subconscious mind that I am not good enough. That message is then going to travel from my subconscious mind to my conscious mind telling me that I am not good enough for this task. Then I am going to consciously repeat that message and send it back to my subconscious mind. So I will have set up a sort of biofeedback loop in which I am constantly going over and over the same old negative stuff and reinforcing it.
So what do you need to do? Well, I’m not suggesting that you should to lie to yourself per se, but in a sense, you need to. You need to break your pattern. You need to interrupt the pattern that you are already in. What you need to do is start talking positively about yourself. And this is whether you are trying to have dating success or you are trying to have job success. This is for anything you are trying to accomplish in your life. You need to start talking positively to yourself, saying that you CAN do it. Or, even go so far as to tell yourself that you HAVE done it, that you always accomplish this goal, etc. So if I am approaching a dating situation, for example, and I am saying to myself, this is never going to work, this is not going to work out, this is going to be short-term, this is not going to last, I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m…you know like the television show where they joke about that. I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and doggonit , people like me. Well, as silly as that sounds, that is the type of mindset you need to get yourself into.
You need to start talking to yourself positively because if you’re saying the opposite, if you are always saying that you’re not good enough, that you’re not going to amount to anything, you’re not going to make this work, this is not going to happen, then guess what? It’s not going to happen! You need to start talking positively to yourself. You ARE good enough. You ARE smart enough. You ARE attractive enough. You ARE (fill in the blank) enough. You need to start talking to yourself positively. You know, I sell over 250 hypnosis CDs and downloadable MP3’s for all sorts of things such as confidence, motivation, etc. But I always tell people that the hypnosis part is very important, it’s very powerful, but that’s only a small part of your day. If you are listening to a CD for example, or if you come to see me for a private session and I make a recording of the session and you play that, you are only going to listen to that at night as you fall asleep, at night, one time a day. The majority of the hypnosis in your life, the self- programming, the self-talk, happens in your awakening conscious life when you are going through your day. And a lot of it happens when you are by yourself. You are talking to yourself. You are driving down the street. You are saying things to yourself. You are in the grocery store and you are saying things to yourself. You are telling yourself how you feel about yourself and how you feel about life. Ughh this is awful. Ughh this is terrible. Or this is great. This is amazing. I am powerful. I am having a wonderful day. It really matters how you talk to yourself. Hypnosis is wonderful. I fully embrace the power of hypnosis. But you need to start talking to yourself in a very powerful way on a daily basis and becoming very aware of it and taking responsibility for the way you are talking to yourself.
If I am in a grocery store and I catch myself saying ughh life is awful, I will immediately change it and say life is wonderful. Life is amazing. I have so many opportunities. I have so many choices. Am I lying to myself? Not really.
Because whatever I say becomes my personal reality. Whatever I put out there, whatever I say, my subconscious mind will react to. Remember, your subconscious mind is like a computer. It takes in whatever it hears. It doesn’t know right from wrong, good from bad, true from false. It just takes in what it hears. That’s the reason that it’s very important that you control everything that goes into your mind. Especially your self-talk because you are with yourself all the time! So, if you want to have dating success or success in anything in life, you need to start talking to yourself positively and when you catch yourself, we all do it from time to time, with that negative self-talk, you need to immediately take responsibility and change it to something positive. Now, at first this is going to maybe seem like hard work. Do I have to change it to something positive on such a gloomy day? Yes you do. You have to start changing the way you talk to yourself. You have to start changing it to something positive. If you want to become a successful, positive, powerful person, you must take control of this. You must take control of every thought that you have. And naturally some negative thoughts are going to seep through. We’re all human. But you catch it, you change it, and you state it in a very positive, powerful way. For example, if I’m saying this date is not going to work out. I catch myself and say this date is going to work out. I am going to have a very powerful experience. I am going to have a very successful experience. I am very confident. That sort of thing. So start talking to yourself in a very positive way whether it’s dating, a job interview, or anything else. It doesn’t matter. Start talking to yourself positively. So, changing your self-talk is step one. It all starts with you. You may have heard that many times before, it all starts with you, but it’s true. I’m hear to tell you it’s true, it’s true, it’s true. It all starts with you.
Also, it’s all in your head. I mean you may think that you need to get certain clothes, talk a certain way, with a certain flair and stand a certain way. I’m here to tell you that it all starts with you and it’s all in your head. If you are confident, you radiate that. And you don’t need to worry about other things. This is 99% of what you are paying for, right here. 99% of the information you need is right here. Start talking to yourself in a very very positive way because it does all start with you.
So let’s go through an example. Let’s say you are about to approach a member of the opposite sex, or the same sex, whatever your taste may be, you are about to approach that love interest of yours. There you are going up to that person. You are walking up to them. What are you saying to yourself? Are you looking at the 99 failures you’ve had in the past with others? The times where you’ve had some success and then it’s worked out not in your favor. Or the time that it never got off the ground? Is that what you are thinking about? Well maybe you are thinking all that, it’s normal. I have worked for professional baseball pitchers. A lot of times they are thinking about the times they messed up. But you know what? They catch themselves. They change that negative self-talk into something positive. So acknowledge you are human and then take responsibility for your thoughts. It’s okay that you had that negative thought, that’s fine, it’s going to happen. If you are going up a roller coaster, you’re going to be scared a little bit, I hope, that’s part of the fun! But you are going to change that if you want a positive experience into “hey, this is not being scared, this is excitement and I am going to enjoy this.” So take that energy, acknowledge it, and take responsibility for it and change it. I’m excited about the possibilities I am about to encounter. I am excited about what could happen in my life as a result of meeting this person. And you know beyond that, I don’t need this person. I don’t need the end result to be A, B, or C. All I need to do in this moment is have fun and go with it. That is all I need to do. So you see what we’re talking about? We’re talking about what could be negative thoughts and changing them in to positive, powerful thoughts, reframing them. You are taking a negative idea. You are acknowledging it because you are human, you are taking responsibility for it and you’re changing it into something positive that is going to help you.
So if I am walking into a dating experience, let’s make it very graphic. I am walking into the bar and there is a female waiting for me and oh my goodness she is so beautiful. She is more beautiful than I ever imagined possible. So my first thought is I’m not good enough, I’m not up to this. This is not right. I then catch myself. I acknowledge that I am human and I have fears. Then I take responsibility and I change that. I change that to let’s have fun with this. Let’s really have fun with this. I am good enough. I am smart enough. I am me. I was okay yesterday when I had never seen this person before in my life. I’m going to be fine tomorrow. I’m going to have fun now. I am confident, powerful, motivated, wonderful and fun. I’m funny, fun to be with, I’m a great person. You see that? Even if I don’t really feel it in the moment, I’m telling myself that. And you know what, your subconscious mind is like a computer. It takes that information and it acts on it. It acts on that information and it makes it your personal reality. So, when you are in a dating situation, whether you are about to meet the person or you are trying to meet the person or it’s your second date or third date, or whatever it is, acknowledge those thoughts of concern. Then take responsibility for them and change them into something powerful and positive.
What? Homework? Yes, that’s right, I like to assign lots of homework. Let’s face it, if you are sitting at home alone reading this post, it’s not going to do you any good unless you get out there and DO SOMETHING!
So what is your homework for this week? Your homework is to have fun! Your homework is to go out there, find yourself in a dating situation. Where you are going on a first date or a second date or calling that person on the phone whose number you have or returning a call from a person who called you. And you’re catching yourself with those limiting beliefs, those doubts, you are taking responsibility for them and then you are changing your self talk in that moment. You’re changing it into something positive and powerful, like I can do this. I am good enough. It’s okay. It’s fun. It’s exciting. It’s a learning experience. Things like that. Find yourself in one of those situations, catch your negative self talk, change it to something positive, and go through the experience and I guarantee you this. You’ll live through it. You’ll live to come back and read another post. I guarantee it. So go ahead and do it and then in the future we will take it to the next level. So go ahead and do your homework and I will see you in a couple days.