Yup the moment has arrived: a few texts have been swapped, it seems like it’s going well and you want to ask her out on a DATE.
That said, you don’t want to ever seem like it’s all about her. Your text should express something that you want to do, be relatively direct and be just unique enough to make her smile.
In short, as soon as you get an invested response from a girl. For more information about this, check out the blog and read my ‘signs she’s ready for a date’ section.
A general guideline though would be to ask for the date sooner rather than later. Text conversations that run on and on will leave her wondering what your game plan is: and kill the excitement of the interaction.
Rules of Text Thumb
- Go for it! If she gives you a ‘no’ (or a ‘maybe’ which is as good as a ‘no’) without offering any other date suggestions, at least you know where you stand and what you have to work with.
- Be direct and use strong language that suggests the date is already on.
- Try to ‘paint a picture’ of the date that gives her a clear idea of what she’s signing up to.
- Make the date relevant to something you’ve discussed, or a challenge to her, and you may up your chances of receiving a positive response.That said don’t arrange a date around her by asking her where she wants to go, what she wants to do, when she’s free etc. Be decisive and choose options that work for you.If the number was/ is pretty cold then she is more likely to agree to a low investment date.
Or should I say, not the response you want? If she makes an excuse as to why she can’t meet, and doesn’t offer a solution herself (like another time you can link up) then accept that she means won’t. Trying to solve the logistics will only lower your value. Instead match her investment. Seem nonchalant about her not being able to meet:
‘ok cool no problem x’
‘that’s cool, Friday was always going to be hectic for me too x’.
Then give her a few days space, before trying to re-contact her. If she’s flaked on you, or turned you down numerous times, turn to Ping Game to learn about how increasing space, can help to solve this.
If you get no response at all don’t react in an emotional or aggressive way: in fact play it cool, don’t react at all and turn to Ping Game.
- Wednesday night. Dinner. Be early 😉Take a risk by being direct and demanding.
- Generic compliments, playful teases and emoticons aside— drink Wednesday?Show that you don’t want your relationship just to exist via text.
- a.) You annoy me b.) Make that infuriate c.) Coffee Friday?End some banter with a date.
- Can’t think of a good reason to go out for a celebratory drink . . . but I’m sure it’s someone’s birthday, somewhere right now so we should toast to that xYou don’t need a good excuse to ask her out for a drink.
- Surely a bad day today for any adventurous outdoor dates—so how about I loan you a towel whilst I make us hot chocolate?
Use the environment to tailor your date suggestion.
- How about we do a bake off this weekend? You’ll win, but I’ll enjoy feeding you cupcakesSuggest fun and unusual activities to tempt her onto a date.
- Let’s buy souvenir t-shirts and spend a weekend sightseeing . . . tourist styleShow your creative side with an inventive date.
- That just makes me think of ASIAN FOOD . . . Looks like we’ll have to get that this weekend to satisfy my cravingUse your conversation to jump to asking for a date.
- Hands tired . . . fingers aching . . . all this texting is giving me RSI. Let’s carry this conversation on in person—after work good for you?Get off the phone—and meet in person!
- I still want to talk fashion, eat Italian and drink cocktails . . . preferably this Thursday at the MANDARIN ORIENTAL.Give a detailed picture of what she can expect from the date.
- Koen dé-Gwener? Asked you out in Cornish . . . Points for originality?Use humour to prompt a positive, if not sexy, response.
- It’s Friday . . . good enough excuse to sling back one too many D&S COCKTAILS I think. Meet me at BAR around 7?Be direct, yet specific enough to create an image of the date.
- Welcome to the tradition of Thirsty Thursdays. I think you can handle a STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE SHOT on a school night . . . so are you game to join us later?Make up a day of the week that demands drinking to instigate a group meet up.
- Let’s link up this weekend. Picnic for good weather, indoors if not xAssume she’s going to agree to the date.
- Is it bad to admit I’m bored at my desk? How about we rename today Madness Mondays and make like it’s Friday night?Tempt her to break the rules with a high risk spontaneous date.
- You’re ridiculously busy. I’m ridiculously busy. Let’s multi- task and do a study date. Just promise not to distract me xBoth busy? Do an ‘errand date’.
- Ok cool. Let’s meet in person to discuss, Wednesday or Thursday night best for you?Play it cool & professional—but only give her options that involve meeting you.
- We should do ICE SKATING one day, good for your POSTURE, don’t you know?Suggest a date that could help her achieve something.
- Texting is ok but how about we upgrade each other to face time? Coffee Wednesday?She doesn’t ‘upgrade’ you, you ‘upgrade’ her.
- We always seem to miss each other. I want to change that. How about we kick start with coffee next week?Try softening a higher risk direct question with a low investment date.
- Just watched the THIRTEEN SAMURAI and find myself in the mood for JAPANESE FOOD. A little wrong I know, but you better not say no to SUSHISuggest a date because something ‘just happened’ to make you think to do it.
- Ever heard of a backwards dinner?We kick start with ICE CREAM, and wind up doing CANAPES at midnight. Plan is best executed on Friday night—does that work ok for you?Create mystery with a question: then follow it up with a specific date idea. Best used on later dates.
- What are you drinking right now? I’d like to buy you another one . . .Interrupt her night out with a risky, but sexy, reminder of you.
- Finding a time we can both meet = nightmare. Latte Monday, deal or no deal?Always try to match her interest levels in going for a date.
- *attach image* do you know what this is?Symbolic representation of our date Monday . . . see you at 7? XUse quirky or creative communication on quirky and creative girls.