“Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.”
-Old Chinese Proverb
When approaching women and trying things out in field, you must begin to think for yourself. Bonafide results DON’T LIE. No one is going to spoonfeed you your entire life or always give you the proverbial fish. Guys have gone out before you and figured out the key lessons forged from deep inside the field (and vaginas), but ultimately your own experience is the best teacher. You MUST think for yourself to figure out what’s working. And, you only ever truly learn in your own experience when you get those “A-Ha!” moments…
These discs and eBooks are PACKED full of tactics [fish] but they are used as examples to further illustrate the underlying key principles.
Tactics from the right mindsets.
When you get in The Zone, you just know exactly how to act and what to do or say. That is the golden sweet spot my program will lead you towards, Total Natural Game
You can verify this for yourself one night by making it your mini- mission to go out and just observe how other dudes behave in the club. They always do the same thing. Stand around talking with their chode buddies, go to the bar, drink drink drink, talk talk talk to their cockfarm (circle of guy friends), then go get more alcohol, go to the bathroom, and FINALLY after being wasted and numb to their environment they will go wreckingball approach chicks. Sometimes they get lucky with a pretty girl equally as drunk and have a sloppy numb sex, othertimes they don’t and go home with a $100 alcohol tab. Forget about “getting lucky” it’s all about consistency. Plus, booze numbs you to the feminine. It drains your vitality and life force and boosts your estrogen levels. Trust me I know, college was crazy.
I drank a lot back then.
Sober sex is much better, and you’re sharper in-field.
When you approach women in the right way (and hopefully sober), you will become a 5% man. By mastering your emotional guidance (so you replace fear or nervousness with excitement and cocky sexual playfulness and genuine FUN), you literally become the diamond in the rough. Girl’s jaws will drop with the “OMG WHO IS THIS GUY NOT TRYING TO IMPRESS US. HE MUST BE A MILLIONAIRE OR A ROCK STAR” look (one of my favorite moments in-field hahaha.) When you learn to stop trying to impress, assume value, master your own emotions, and walk up and LEAD by dictating the energy of the interaction [Masculine] thus becoming the CAUSE of the interaction, not the effect… girls get super aroused because
95% of men today either never approach women, or, when they do they are either (A) shit-scared and full of creepy weird vibez, or (B) shitfaced drunk slobbering all over themselves.
95% of men CAN’T INTERACT WITH GIRLS LIKE THIS. Remember, most guys are trying to impress by thinking of things to say (lacking that youthful masculinity cocky presence – review the Feminine Attraction Formula), feeling nervous, completely wasted and wreak of alcohol, feeling low value and unworthy like they need to somehow “create” attraction in women so they start “gaming” them with lines & tactics – which girls see RIGHT THROUGH this shit.
Chicks complain to me all the time about these lame guys that attempt to approach them night after night after night. So when the King (the man you will become after going through this program) comes along, chicks literally FREAK OUT and don’t know how to react. Most of them think you are like a celebrity or something and they try to sleep with you right away. Remember, 87% of what you’re saying isn’t coming out of your mouth.
It’s your vibe. Your bodylanguage.
Females are responding to your SUBCOMMUNICAITONS and MICRO- BEHAVIORS. Nervously looking away for even just a second says a lot more about you than standing there playfully staring out her with strong deep unwavering presence and eye-contact.
When you get these mindsets you are learning here down, and I mean DOWN, all your micro-behaviors will click perfectly into place. You will become a 5% man, and chicks will literally stare you down at clubs & bars getting wet with desire. It gets pretty weird and overwhelming having chicks drool at you everywhere you go when you learn to polarize them like that. You’ve been warned.
The Inner Game Of Opening
Key Click: Fun First, Pickup Later. Most guys see a group of girls with a hottie they want in it and immediately get the thought “I MUST GO PICK HER UP NOW.” They immediately begin putting all of this pressure on themselves feeling like they MUST GO PERFORM NOW. This is a horrible mindset to be in, especially for the approach.
By saying to yourself and shifting your focus to Fun First, Pickup Later, you take off the pressure and begin to snap into the right frame of mind. You’ll be way more natural and attractive when you approach with no anxiety-ridden hidden dancing monkey agenda.
You must feel like you deserve the hot girls and they are YOURS. You are walking up and CLAIMING THEM. A true woman wants a real man to claim her. Remember, submission is a feminine trait. The mindset shift you must have is that you are a cool fun guy to be around and you totally deserve hot women, they are LUCKY to be around you. Your amount of success in field is directly proportionate to how congruent and how much conviction you hold to this belief.
Malcolm “Madmoney” Gladwell wrote an excellent book entitled, “Blink.”
In it, he talks about how there exists a mechanism embedded within the human psyche that serves to “snapshot” other people constantly in our social environment, everywhere we go.
The process basically goes like this…
Say you see a guy walking down the street with an afro and pink sunglasses. Immediately your mind begins linking up past neuro- memories and associations with afros. If your cool Dubstep buddy Jerome also had a fro and occasionally wore pink sunglasses, you will begin feeling affection for this stranger linking him up and projecting at him the qualities of your old time buddy Jerome.
Same goes for a guy walking in a business suit. You see him and you automatically assume he’s a “business guy” and probably rich and well established with some fancy job etc.
The point is, you’re not sitting there seeing the depth in that guy “Oh gee, I wonder who this is!” instead you snapshot him. Prejudgement.
In modern times, this happens in social situations more than you’re probably aware of. People are always snapshotting you. You could be the coolest guy in the world but if you walk into a venue surrounded by five nerds and you’re dressed peacocked like Mystery, everyone’s going to snapshot you as the weirdo or nerd. Even though you’re rad as hell and one of the coolest dudes there! In the same way, you could be the nerdiest guy in the world, walk into a party with five supermodels and everyone’s going to think you’re one of the coolest guys on the planet. Social snapshotting is powerful. People are doing it automatically and subconsciously all the time, so take note of the way you dress and who you hang out with because it says a lot, especially to girls.
Now let’s come full circle.
So when you walk up all shaky weird and nervous, girls INSTANTLY assume you’re a total chode. They link up ALL the neural- associations in their brains (past memories, experiences, other weird creepy guys they knew etc) and project these qualities onto YOU.
You could be the coolest dude in the world, but if you’re nervous for 10 seconds at the initial interaction, she is instantly snapshotting and categorizing you in the “weird creepy nervous guy” category with ALL the other guys that freaked her out in her past with bad vibes and is now processing you through that filter for the rest of the interaction.
But, when you walk up with confidence purpose and conviction with that beaming knowing smile on your face, they snapshot you into the cool fun sexworthy guy category and begin to see you through that filter for the rest of the night. She will link you up with all the sexy, confident guys who have made love to her properly and deeply aroused her in the past. She lights up and her interest for you skyrockets.
First impressions are powerful in the club. Remember that.
Ever have a girl SUPER into you at first and then suddenly walk off? This is the dynamic at play, she liked and was turned on by you at first but as time went on she “got to know you” hahaha.
Only half-joking here. 😉
Think back to one of your friends, wasn’t your first impression of that person ENTIRELY different than when you got to know them more? The problem with the club is there isn’t enough time to show them the true holistic you so you have to get good at the snapshotting for same night lays. I had to learn this one the hard way, so capitalize on my wisdom.
So.. how do we do this most-effectively?
Parting The Seas
When approaching Women in a night club (or any venue for that matter) you must GO IN HARD and STEP WITH PURPOSE.
No pussyfooting around. Chicks can smell a creep lurker or a scared nervous chode MILES away and they are powerfully repelled by this bullshit. You must STEP to Women because, remember (key basic), they are social snapshotting you. Have full belief, feel good, assume value & attraction, STEP to these girls with full entitlement and PART THE SEAS.
If you do this right you’ll find girls get stunned and super shy, they start smiling and looking down and getting very submissive and compliant with you. Her friends subconsciously interpret this as a sign of obvious attraction and so they open up to you and are warm & friendly.
APPROACH IS EVERYTHING.
Remember, girls are always snapshotting you!!! The last guy who approached her like that made love to her to Heaven and back, so she thinks you’re just like that guy. (And after studying this material, you will be ;))
This also stems from entitlement, and is why we discussed that approaching Basic earlier. When you feel like you deserve the girl, you go right for her playfully. No pussyfooting around. Women can smell a guy hovering around them too long, you wreak of chodeliness and fear. An alpha guy sees a hot girl he wants, he walks over to her and unapologetically takes it.
So the #1 important piece to remember about approaching girls anywhere at anytime to to STEP with full conviction and entitlement.
No stalling, so hovering, no creep lurking. PART THE SEAS.
Rejection On The Approach
Picking up Women is like playing a game of hardball. If you’re not getting blown out enough man, you’re not playing hard enough. Period.
Remember, it’s only the pussy chodes who are too scared to bruise their “perfect pimp egos” that NEVER approach women so they end up sleeping with like 5 girls their whole life (if any.)
To learn and become a Master at any area in life, you must be willing to fail. A lot. Remember the baby learning to walk? Think of it like learning to play a song. What if you beat yourself up every time you messed up a note and then were too afraid to pick up the guitar again for “fear of missing a note and failing”? It would take you 10 years to learn how to play a single song!
There is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR INSTRUMENT, aka YOU. You’ve just been playing it wrong with some shitty bullshit inner beliefs and lack of emotional intelligence.
Making mistakes is not only ESSENTIAL to your growth and development but it’s INEVITABLE for the process of learning. You learn the most when you fail the hardest. The next time you try again, you’re better because you’re coming from a completely new level of wisdom and proficiency.
Bottom Line: EXPECT IT.
The BEST guys out in field who have been doing this shit for 10-15 years STILL get blown out each night they go out. The difference is they don’t cry, get all down on themselves never to approach a girl
Key Mindset: Women LIKE to be rude to guys. They get off on it because it makes them feel High Value and because it weeds out the wimps. Don’t cry when she’s rude to you, laugh and mean it because you’re internally validated. Or act really hurt etc (three years of social therapy down the drain…), making a big joke out of her ridiculous behavior because in your reality women supplicate to you and worship the ground you walk on so it’s so funny to finally meet a woman who is acting so silly like this. This makes you want to play with her more.
That is the mindset.
Pickup Is Dirty
Next, there is NO perfect pickup. Pickup is dirty. Guys think it’s going to be all smooth and golden like little horny cuddly warm bunnies playing in rainbow light fields of hummingbirds and puppy dogs in a chocolate kitten bath.
NO dude. The club is messy. GIRLS are messy. SEX is messy. You HAVE to get your hands dirty in the field. There is no other way.
Sometimes you hit The Zone and do flawless pulls, but it’s rarely like that (take it from the guy who lost his virginity before his father, I know these things.) A lot of the time you have to be able to be a man and deal with the fact that not every female on the planet isn’t going to want to sleep with you. Boo-hoo. Again. They LAUGH and think it’s FUNNY. All rejection is FUNNY. It’s just a big feminine test to see if her little moods can affect you.
True players see rejection from girls as authentically funny because remember, they’re The Shit. (hahahaha she backturned me LOL what a dumbass.)
A lot of naturals I know and have gone out with (that have slept with well over a hundred women at the age of 24) see girls that reject them as either (A) really dumb or (B) completely retarded.
They think it’s sad, like she’s denying herself pleasure or a fun night or doesn’t feel worthy of him or something. We’ll get into the whole natural value-offering mindsets in depth on the Becoming A Natural chapter, but for now understand that your DICK is pure value to a hot woman. The mere fact you’re a male that can make her feel INCREDIBLE and fill her up with joy, both literally and metaphorically, you begin to understand that you are like pure money.
It’s very much like walking up to a girl with $10,000 cash in your back pocket and handing it to her and she goes, “Wtf creep get away from me I don’t want your dirty money.”
LOL, again, her loss.
Eradicate Reaction Seeking
Next key mindset shift: FORGET about good-reactions. Even if you’re the guy that is able to make the girls giggle and get AWESOME initial reactions and approval from girls, you’re not going to get laid as much as the guy who gets blown out because he’s burning his sets to the ground and approaching waayyyy more women than you. Do you want fleeting approval from women all night or do you want to get LAID? In order to GET lots of girls you have to be willing to LOSE lots of girls. Push your interactions. Hard.
All rejection is simply feedback; when you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
Remember social snapshotting? You have to differentiate yourself to the hot ones EARLY as they are approached by the hoards of chodes.
Here is my field-tested opener for getting in state and showing that you’re not like all the other boring stiff chodes in the club. Say, “Hi I’m ____ nice to meet you.” and as soon as she goes for your hand, 4th grader style take it away and say “Oh, got you!” this will crack the girl up and her bitch shield will melt instantly. There, take your tactic. But remember, it’s the attitude UNDERNEATH the line that’s causing the attraction. Always be asking yourself WHY? WHY does this work? It works because you’re not taking her seriously like every other stiff boring loser, which sub-communicates you’re probably hooking up with a lot of other hot women of her calibre.
Preselection at it’s finest.
Human beings are hard-wired [survival] to look for agendas of strangers. Back in tribe days if some weird dude came up you, you’ll need to determine if he is a friend or a threat FAST. You need to figure out his agenda and whether or not he even has one.
That’s why guys sit there scheming inside their heads with these “Secret pickup agendas” turn girls off. They see right through this shit and it actually kind of freaks them out because it triggers that fight-or-flight survival mechanism.
Think of some guy in mall who comes up to you with a clipboard but starts making small-talk… “oh it’s such a beautiful day, how are you doing? I really like your shirt!” You’re like WTF does this guy want?
But if he was like, “Hey guys I’m selling this, are you interested?” You’d still tell him “no thanks” but it doesn’t trigger your defense mechanism because he’s being honest and upfront about his intentions.
When you’re unapologetic, upfront and honest about your core masculine desires, it is extremely sexy to the really feminine girls. Walk up feeling good, tell her she’s hot. Period. Then just stay outside your head with your playful cocky masculine presence [polarity] just looking at her and see how she responds.
I think you’ll like it. 😉
So, you should always go direct. State your reason for approach. And it DOESN’T always have to be sexual.
You can go up and just be social. BUT ALWAYS TELL HER WHY YOU APPROACHED. “Hey you guys seem cool. I know like everyone here, I haven’t met any of you yet – what’s your names?”
This warm approach, if you’re not subcommunicating any bullshit with your micro-behaviors (like being nervous or someshit) will pop open the set almost always, without exception. Being friendly and warm and cool, wtf is there to reject about that?
Watch this video by James Marshal in which he demonstrates the direct approach with women:
“Is that your line?”
Women are approached each month by THOUSANDS of lameass guys so they begin to develop these knee-jerk reactions to any new guys approaching them.
Awareness Exercise #1: Try this, in your bathroom, bedroom or kitchen move your trashcan somewhere else. In the next week watch as you go to toss something over in the spot where the original trashcan was by habit. This is how girls respond to a penis walking up to them BY DEFAULT, sometimes they don’t even mean to do it.
Awareness Exercise #2: Also try this, set your Dock (if on MAC) or your Start Menubar (if on PC) to auto-hide and place it on the other side. Watch over the next week as you’ll go to open a program and then go “OH right it’s over here!”
That knee-jerk reaction is the same automated response many many hot Women have to dudes approaching them, because remember these are the 95% loser men.
My own personal in-field story
I was out at a club up in San Francisco. I see these two hot little asians. I kind of have a thing for hot asians. These girls appear to be having a sub-par time, I decide to walk up and light up their hearts and be cool.
I walk up, “Sup gurlz… I-”
One of her friends interrupts me screaming, “SERIOUSLY GO AWAY SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.”
Having seen worse shit in my day, I kind of amusingly smile (drawing state from within.. core confidence.. masculine polarity etc, I DGAF women’s reactions to me.) The girl gets a look on her face like she’s actually kind of sorry and then nervously laughs, but I don’t want to feel like I’m over-extending myself like a needy loser like, “OMG PLEASE LIKE ME I’M GONNA STAY HERE TALKING TO YOU GUYS.”
So totally unreactive I walk off, way to be socially normal cool girls! NEXT.
As I’m walking away looking for the next normal FUN chicks to approach, the friend of the girl who just screamed at me is running chasing after me.
“Hey my friend is sorry and she really wanted to meet you, she had a really bad night. She thinks you’re cute.”
I ended up asking her for an apology, which she submissively gave, and ended up having a threesome with both chicks later that night back in their apartment.
Fun times with hot asian chicks and cold asian food.
The take-away lesson? Learn to recognize token-resistance. Girls are weird sometimes man. Some chicks go out to blow off guys just for the validation. Part of being a Man (Masculine Polarity) is not caring whether a girl is in love with you or hates you. Know token resistance when you get it, and calibrate accordingly. It isn’t the end of the interaction, it’s just a filter to weed out the wimps from the real men who won’t waste her time (her biological clock is ticking) and make love to her proper. More on this later.
Another classic token resistance, ”I have a boyfriend.”
9 times out of 10 this is a TEST. Why is she all dolled up out at the club if she has a boyfriend? Girls that are happy stay home and watch The Office with their borefriends. Don’t be fooled. Most girls call guys they’re currently hooking up or just casually seeing boyfriends even though they’re really not. She’s testing you dude.
My personal rule is if the guy isn’t physically THERE with her, then she’s fair game and she’s mine tonight.
Token resistance is just a big test to see if you’re a real man who is alpha and will lead her all the way to the bedroom. Lots of “fake- alpha” guys approach her having learned how to DHV and Open, making them seem like a badass motherfucker who is going to make her feel so good (remember snapshotting) but he runs out of his “routines” and turns into a total wimp later down the line. Remember, girls are responding to a man’s BEHAVIOR.
She needs a filter to see if you’re a REAL MAN or not or if you’re just being fake. She’s not socially conditioned to say, “Look, are you gonna step up and make love to me tonight, or not?” but that’s what she means from her feminine core with her little feminine token resistance!!!
Personally man, I LOVE getting resistance right off the bat, it excites me because I go “Oh cool, a perfect opportunity to show her I’m not another chode of the night”, and I plow on through it. You’ll find when you don’t flinch when chicks disapprove of you right off the bat by being fully tapped into your masculine polarity (remember each piece is meant to build upon the next, Master The Basics), this actually AMPLIFIES the attraction, hardcore.
Like before she kinda liked you, now she’s going to be getting wet for you because you showed her you’re a real man who doesn’t have his reactions or self-esteem or worthiness tied up in her. This is because you draw state from within and have Core Confidence, aka Masculine Polarity. It’s magnetically polarizing.
You have to feel bad for girls, man. Imagine you’re at a club and you see what appears to be a hot girl… she flirts with you, appears really sexy and then you decide to take her home.
And what’s more, this happens to you AGAIN and AGAIN every time you go out. You just REALY want to lay a real live hot woman but every single one that approaches you eventually turns out to be a man later. So finally you’re going to get so fed up with this shit that you begin to say to all seeming “hot women” that approach you,
“Look, do you have a dick or not because if you have a dick then get the f**k away from me.”
This is where most hot girls are at. Guys approach them acting all fly at first, but it’s all an act because they read The Game and now know how to DHV or Open a girl with a tactic or routine (so they get snapshotted [Basic] as Alpha and sexy and she gets excited accordingly.)
But later, back at her place (if they even get that far, lol) they turn out to be total chodes who don’t escalate or they turn into nice guy wimps all worried about what she’s thinking or afraid to be a man and lead her into bliss ecstasy etc and they stop acting from their core. They stop dictating the energy of the interaction.
They start going inside their heads and stop being cockily present with her. In other words they become a totally pussy, taking on feminine characteristics, which is NOT polarizing. It’s like the girl goes down to eagerly suck your cock only to suddenly find a vagina!
This is why a lot of HOT girls walk around HIGHLY sexually frustrated. Just ask them.
Once you get home you start making out hot and heavy, you’re getting super turned on, you go to reach up her skirt and BAM!
There’s a penis.
Girls just want to be bent over. And believe me, I’ve come to that conclusion from spending time and sleeping with A LOT of hot girls. When a woman finally finds a man who will unapologetically make love to her and give her a hot naughty fun ride of her life, again and again with no sexual hang-ups, AND you don’t get all clingy and needy and possessive or weird, she will NOT let that value easily slip out of her life because you are so rare. A 5% man.
Girls can get really weird when you open them up GOD, fully utilizing your masculine gifts by pleasing her to bliss. You open their hearts minds and bodies up like no man ever has before, they get really attached and clingy. It’s sad and kind of gross. I had a girl virtually BEG me not to break up with her before. It’s so sad and hard to do, almost like breaking a kitten’s legs.
But I’m teaching full gangster mode here. Calibrate accordingly.
Oh, and you’ll get a lot of referral customers too. Girls gossip when you’re good in bed (Hint: follow your Emotional Guidance System in the bedroom and naturally pleasure her like a King… more on this on the Sexual Escalation Mastery post.)
This is KILLER for approaching girls, so pay attention.
Get your teachability to 10/10!
If you’re going up looking for an opener or something cool to say, what is that assuming? Right – that you don’t yet have attraction.
Self fulfilling prophecy.
If you walk up and start getting physical and sexually playful with a girl or go to make out with her right off the bat (when you’re REALLY in The Zone this happens a lot), what is that assuming? It’s assuming that you have attraction and comfort already.
So instead of stepping up to girls with the mindset of like “oh these girls don’t know me I have to generate attraction” ASSUME it from the get-go. You HAVE to step to a group of these girls and assume they all want you.
What do most guys do? They start off on the wrong foot. They think they are at Level 1 and need to get to Level 2. And then as the interaction progresses eventually they will need to get to Level 3.
Wrong wrong wrong!
START at level 2, and when you get really good you can even start at level 3.
The mindset is because you are good enough as you are – a cool guy with a lot to offer, you truly feel that any girl will be into you if she gives you a chance. This is the natural mindset. All naturals who have great success with women automatically assume value and attraction and they know if they talk to girls in time they will eventually hook up. Why? Because they’re The Shit.
A perfect example is look at Vincent Chase from the TV Show Entourage.
The way he talks to girls is so cool, so natural, so effortless, so laid- back. He’s fully ASSUMING any hot girl he talks to will be totally into him, and as a self-fulfilling prophecy (and the feminine being a mirror reacting to a man’s reality), she submits to this and falls for him.
Think of the difference between walking up trying to get her to like you or waling up ASSUMING she already likes you and then getting physical from the start. The former is what a chode does, the latter is what a PIMP does.
“Be yourself around girls.”
The guy who is not trying so hard, who is self-amused, outcome independent, in the moment having fun, communicates A LOT. He’s preselected. Not “too cool for school”, he’s just acting NORMAL. It’s not some big ego trip, he just knows he’s okay just as he is and attractive to hot women, warts and all.
Being successful with girls is WHO YOU ARE not something you “do”, when you BAM! see a hot girl are you like, “oh shit I need to go DO something to get her attracted?” NO. It’s WHO YOU ARE. Value and Attraction are ASSUMED from the get-go. You don’t need to “do” something to create it, because remember, you’re The Shit. You don’t feel the need to try because you have 5 hot girls waiting for you at home in your bed.
You’re thinking, Oh a hot girl. BAM. “Hey.”
Having no agenda: Sex naturally happens as a guy talks to a girl, but you’re not seeking it desperately from the get-go. Girls can sense this creepy needy vibe and will backturn you fast if you’re carrying it. The KEY is to not be looking for approval or good reactions or even caring about SEX from the get-go. You want NOTHING from them other than to share the love / the party. This is offering value. This is HIGH VALUE because it communicates non-neediness. You’re just there having fun and can walk away at any moment with or without their approval, you’re having fun and it’d be a loss if YOU leave.
Women Are People Too
I know, shocker right?
Bottom line: Don’t be weird.
You’re not approaching “targets” “obstacles” “HB9s” or “bitches”, you’re approaching PEOPLE. Humans. People like to talk to other PEOPLE not social scripted robots or weird creepy nerds with their stealth seduction tactics.
Just like you (gasp!) girls want to have fun in the club and meet another interesting person who doesn’t take themselves so seriously and has their own thing going on. Just like you (actually more) they deeply enjoy hot fun naughty healthy sticky sex.
They might have ego projections towards men, or be in a fight with their best friend or their mother might have just been diagnosed with cancer and given 2 months to live… if you did everything right (walked up with a warm, friendly social vibe and were cool) and she still blows you off… its HER issue man. Take the $10,000 dollar example from earlier.
Plus, when you really get this stuff down the tables turn. You become a hot guy, a ‘total 10’ in HER eyes (gasp! Hot girls DO feel that gut- level sexual attraction impulse to go ride guys, omg wow! 😉 … she might have and ego projection [all men are ______ ] or she might even have a self-sabotaging tendency such as not feeling worthy and thus mess up the interaction by pretending to not like you or roll her eyes or someshit.
YOU NEVER KNOW what’s going in the feminine world man. Girls are crazy, illogical, and non-linear, so stop taking ownership of her crap. You can ONLY control what’s underneath your skin and that’s IT.
You will feel REALLY bad if you ever try to influence other’s reactions towards you because that is NOT POSSIBLE and a seriously shitty way to focus. Your inner Emotional Guidance will let you know in the form of extreme negative discord.
Remember the natural mindset of pure value offering in the form of your dick? After you see GIRL AFTER GIRL AFTER GIRL AFTER GIRL cumming and moaning on your bed telling you you’re so amazing and great, and you walk up to a new girl and she’s like “Get away from me creep” it’s almost LAUGHABLE.
Like she’s RETARDED or STUPID. You can make her feel incredible naughty & hot and she’s throwing that masculine gift away hahaha.
What To Say
I see this messing with so many guys out in the field it’s not even funny.
It’s the whole “What do I talk about?!?!?!” or “WHAT DO I SAY NEXT?” problem.
The remedy? Lower your conversational standard. I.e. don’t try to impress the girl with fancy interesting stories or words. You can walk up and talk about monkies in the zoo and how cool they are or what you ate for breakfast and still get LOTS of attraction and giggles than if you had the BEST and COOLEST AWESOME MOST ENTERTAINING STORY EVER.
Plus, as you’ll learn later, talking gets you nowhere. Women respond on a deep primal raw sexual level to a dominant touchy physical guy.
If you walked up warm, social, cool, NORMAL, w/e… and she still blows you off. It’s HER issue man. I cannot stress that enough.
It’s not the words she’s responding to that’s turning her on. Grok didn’t walk up to cavegirl and ask if she would like to share a cup of tea with him.
The problem with this is when you look for awesome things to say, you’ll begin lying to over-exaggerate certain parts of your life to seem cool as a lame attempt to impress the girl. As a result, unconsciously you will begin to feel unworthy or inauthentic because “you’re not being you” anymore. Then the girl can feel this lack of congruence, and it turns her off quick. She senses something weird about you.
So trying to impress a girl with words is also bad because it sets up in your mind that you don’t deserve the girl for WHO YOU ARE. It’s not what you say, it’s the sub-communicated VALUE underneath. If you went to lunch with Brad Pitt and he started talking about taking a piss this morning you would be GLUED to the guy not because of his words or conversational quality but the mere fact he has subcommunicated, assumed High Value.
The next big piece for eradicating this “running out of things to say” disease, is to get in touch with your own Genuine Interest. Talk about subjects YOU LIKE. People are stuck in their own reality all the time, so it’s high value to offer conversation about topics that interest YOU.
I always talk to girls about books I’ve read and shit. Nothing boring, remember you’re in a club, but the point is you’re pulling her into YOUR cool reality and being authentic and expressive, an attractive high value quality most men will never embody.
Examples: Sometimes I talk about secret societies or health stuff or meditation or a concert I went to or I ask girls for cooking tips because I’m starting a new cutting diet and need some lemon chicken or paleo salad recipes, etc. This shows CONGRUENCE, aka you being YOU, which shows a girl you’re being authentic and hits a
The next important thing when talking to honeys in a Night Club is to follow the golden rule of NO NEGATIVE TOPICS. The key is to remember you’re in a club. Keep it LIGHT and FUN and never boring or negative or disgusting. Don’t be a social leech. It’s Friday night.
Have you ever gone out with those people that are talking about how messed up work is and how sick they’ve been all week – it’s like DUDE why did you even come out tonight? No one likes Debbie Downer, especially when people go out on Friday night to let loose, relax and have a good time and forget about the hectic problems of the work- week. Drop the bullshit.
The reason you want to stay chill when it comes to talking to sensuous babes is because Women are extremely visual/feeling perceiving sensual creatures. No talking about death, politics, school or work (unless funny/interesting), or any disgusting bodily humour.
Don’t walk up to girls talking about whether they douche or not, nothing weird like that.
Some more field-tested conversational topics include:
Social Dynamics. Women find this shit SUPER interesting. This is a subtle way to show you have high value and you’re one of the cool guys that “Gets it”, an example; “Hey do you guys ever notice how some people can’t have fun? Like you see some guys all looking around all nervous and shit caring what other people think of him. I think that’s so sad…” etc.
deep attraction switch inside of her. You’re naturally not trying to impress or are trying too hard because what you’re talking about REALLY excites you or interests you, which, as the feminine way reacts to her environment, she will begin to get excited and interested. AUTHENTIC ATTRACTION.
Passion Sharing. Think of really positive topics that excite YOU in your life. Whatever it may be, talk about THAT STUFF with girls. That is why I am stressing Authenticity here, you have got to start living a cool lifestyle. This is easy to do when you get on your Path and discover your Purpose.
More on that later.
Always approach with topics YOU want to talk about. Like what you think about a girl’s shoes or why guys wearing dresses isn’t cool (“Have you girls seen Braveheart? Now those were MEN.”) I even go up talking about psychological experiments like clubs are meant to make people feel inferior with the fancy red velvet lines and flashy lights so people get insecure and feel the need to chemically alter themselves with overpriced alcohol. Or I’ll talk about my #1 passion in life, music. Just whatever YOU find interesting. If you’re excited and interested about what topic you’re invested in, or having FUN or whatever, the girls will too. Remember, the feminine is like a mirror and reacts to your reality. So keep it fun & cool and unapologetically draw her right into it. She’ll thank you later.
Key Mindset Shift: Still don’t know what to say next?
Just HAVE FUN and ask yourself WHAT DO I WANT?
The key for MASSIVE ATTRACTION in a club is that the girls must feel you are relaxed and not trying to get a reaction out of them, they will then want to be around you. When you can authentically accomplish this your interactions with hot women will be taken to the next level.
ALLOW THE WORDS TO COME.
It’s a Paradox, the more you still your mind, the more cooler shit you have to talk about.
Think of it like a Magic 8 Ball. You walk up and shake it, see what pops up. If you’re in a high frequency vibration, aka feeling GOOD and IN STATE and HAVING FUN etc, you will have plenty of amazing fun state-pumping shit to talk about, I promise. Your criterion for opening should be = WILL IT GET ME IN STATE?? IS IT FUN?
Me: “Hey girls, what’s the WORST pickup line you’ve ever heard?”
Hotties: “OMG this one guy onetime….”
Me: “I was going to use that exact same one!”
Remember man, YOU ARE THE REASON SHE CAME OUT TONIGHT. Hours in mirror, makeup, dresses high heels.. for themselves?
Give Up Results Seeking
Don’t be the guy who wants to be perfect RIGHT NOW and expects 100% awesome results. You will very rarely, if ever, approach a girl, get a makeout, approach the next girl, get a makeout, approach the next girl, take her home.
It rarely EVER works like this in the field. The club is a CHAOTIC environment filled with unpredictable variables. You WILL get rejected and “fail” over and over again each night.
The paradox here is to want to move forward and advance your skill set but at the same time stay positive and not be too hard on yourself if you get blown out all night, because you’re always learning and growing. This mindset will keep you in a positive frame of mind that is attractive to people and especially women. The guys who fail with women are the guys who go out, don’t get any results, and develop this bitter negative hate towards themselves or women and those are the guys who don’t get very far in this game.
Having unrealistic expectations like “every girl must like me” or “I must execute a flawless 100% perfect pickup every time or I don’t deserve her or the lay.” Shit like that will create such disappointment and frustration in you it’s not even funny. Stay away from those loser mindsets. Keep positive and know that even the beast champion guys mess things up in their interactions with women.
It’s called being Human.
Approaching Women is a lot like opening up a box of chocolates.
Like our good friend Forest says, “You never know what you’re gonna get.”
Sometimes it’s sweet and tasty, other times it’s nasty and you’ll want to spit that shit right out.
The important thing is to begin to develop Core Confidence, which is NOT based on the external chaotic, unpredictable world and environment [the feminine].
Core Confidence is just a fancy way of saying Masculine Polarity. We went into that in depth above, but you really need to work on it. You must be coming from a place where you’re tapping into your state and self-confidence & validation (self-worthiness) from WITHIN. Anything other than that is a bitch’s trait. Feminine energy. It is NOT polarizing and she will NOT get wet for you.
True alpha guys (and I’ve made it my mission to surround myself with these powerful men to learn from them) are the same whether they are in the V.I.P. Section in a club surrounded by giggling supermodels touching them, performing in front of 1000’s of people, or taking a shit at home when noone’s looking. They’re the same guy whether they are getting a blowjob, or getting blown out. Real Men tapped into their deep Masculine Polarity, the most sexually attractive to HOT “total 10” Women, DO NOT base their sense of self worth on a woman’s reactions to him. Period.
Lastly, remember that the girls are always snapshotting you, so calibrate accordingly.
Build up social momentum (more on this in the Club Game Chapter, so chill for now) and learn to approach lots and lots of live women. Oftentimes you will get a bad cookie, but that should pump your own state. Remember, rejection is FUNNY. When you get a bitchfest or a meanie, it’s a lot like jumping in the cold water. No toesies shit. approach her and you SNAP into state.
If she blows you off, OooOoOoh *shiver* that was cold!! Now you’re ready for the next one to come alive and be AWAKE in the club, fearless.
To tie it all together, here’s a 5 minute run-down of best practices when approaching women: