As you’ll know, talking dirty with a woman is an art form that, when done properly, can turn her on just with a couple of words and the right inflection of your voice.
The foundational steps build that report with her so that when you do use the sexual power words, she is ready to hear them and be turned on by them rather than creeped out and turned off. This is the key to talking dirty to your girlfriend.
Sexual power words and phrases are important not only for turning her on initially and making her feel sexual and attracted towards you just being in your presence. They’re also essential to a happy, healthy, and fulfilling sex life for both of you.
You know how you like hearing a woman moan and scream in bed? Every guy likes hearing the woman he’s with be vocal.
It’s a sign that you’re pleasing her and satisfying her sexually. You don’t want to be having sex with a woman who is just going to lie there and be silent. You have no indication then that you’re on the right track.
Likewise, women like when you’re vocal too but in a different way. They don’t expect you to scream and moan but using dirty talk in bed is your way as a man to be vocal with them and communicate. No woman wants to feel like she’s banging a ninja. She needs to know that you’re in it with her and she’s connected to you on some level. You’re not just having sex with each other silently. That would just be creepy.
Women need some indication from you and guidance as to what is going on. You’re the man. You’re supposed to be taking the lead and that includes being vocal and guiding her with your words. It’s the yin and yang of sex. She moans and screams. You dirty talk her through with sexual power words and phrases. It’s all about balance. Balance is the key to talking dirty.
This is the reason why sex can be totally lacking and people end up breaking up over it. There’s no communication or meshing together and that usually stems from the lack of dirty talk.
While it’s possible to have a sex life and find a woman who isn’t interested in intense dirty talk at all, you will find that to be pretty rare. Women won’t readily admit it but deep down they all secretly crave for you to take the lead and unleash their extreme sexual side through your voice.
A lot of times men are simply too afraid to say what’s on their mind. They think that if they express their sexuality and desires they’re going to scare the woman off. This harkens back to the main course material. When you act or don’t act out of fear of loss or fear in general, you’re going to sabotage yourself.
You’re not being authentic when you hold back parts of yourself and that includes your desire and the dirty thoughts rolling around in your head that you wish you could say to her.
When you hold yourself back and bite your tongue, you’re essentially being dishonest with her and keeping something from her because you’re too afraid to be yourself.
￼￼￼￼￼The truth of the matter is, when you build that foundation and build that report with her, you’ll be able to tell her the filthiest thing on your mind when you do it in the right setting and context.
Obviously, there are things you’re not going to lean across the table and tell her at a café while sharing a pastry on a Sunday afternoon. There is a time and place for the extreme dirty talk.
But women are just as sexual (if not more so) as men are. They just need to feel comfortable and safe enough to express themselves around you. They need you to pick up and lead the way for them.
If you don’t take the lead and you stay stuck in your fear then your sex life will never reach its full potential. You won’t be able to satisfy her on the deepest level possible. It’s a loss for the both of you.
When you can’t tap into your extreme sexual side, not only do you miss out on a great sex life, but she never gets to explore her full sexuality with you either. The majority of women keep that side of themselves hidden until you help them unlock it, guiding them through with sexual power phrases in the bedroom.
You’ve already seen how women are intensely sexual beings when they feel safe enough to express that side of themselves. They want sex just as much as you do. They want you to take control, be the man, and be dominant.
When I say dominant I don’t mean controlling or being a tyrant. I mean that you’re simply taking the lead and taking point on painting the picture for her with your words and leading your girlfriend through the dirty talking experience.
The key to this, as is said in the main course, is that you cannot apologize for your desires as a man. To do so is to be indecisive and wishy-washy.
￼￼￼￼￼To say, “I’m sorry. I’m just so attracted to you. I’m sorry” is such a turn off to women. You can simply say “I’m just so attracted to you” and she’ll get it.
You don’t need to apologize for being attracted to her. You’re just being a man. You never hear women apologizing for finding someone attractive. They tend to own their sexuality more than men in that sense.
They don’t say to you, “I’m sorry. I just can’t help but to stare at you. You just look so good. Sorry.” Women don’t see a need to apologize for their sexuality like men do.
Sure, they keep that side of themselves hidden away on a day to day basis, but they own up to it when it comes out. They don’t make excuses or apologize for it.
Don’t apologize for something that comes naturally. At first these phrases I’m about to give you might not seem that natural. They might feel a bit too extreme for you or too intense.
I know a lot of guys are afraid of saying such things in bed. They’re afraid they’re going to offend a woman or sound like they’re in a cheesy, poorly-scripted porn.
The key is context. Just as we laid out the foundation for sexual power words in normal conversation, these sexual phrases for the bedroom are highly effective when used in the right context.
Just like you wouldn’t expect an athlete to run a marathon without warming up their muscles first, you’re not busting these phrases out the moment you get some alone time with a woman.
Once she’s properly warmed up and turned on, these phrases can be slipped in during sex to heighten arousal and give her the greatest pleasure ever.
Dirty talk is essential to an ongoing relationship. Not only are the little sexual innuendos and joking in normal, everyday conversation important but also the intense, deeply personal, and dirty phrases you say to her during sex. It keeps the fire burning and keeps things interesting. So many couples suffer from a bad, boring sex life. There’s no passion and no variety.
Metering out these sexual phrases in small doses will keep that fire stoked and keep her on her toes waiting and wanting for more. She’ll be thinking about what you said in bed last night and wondering what’s going to come out of your mouth next.
She’ll have daydreams and fantasies just thinking about the next time you surprise her with some sexual power phrases and dirty talk in the middle of sex.